In a long overdue decision, the Minneapolis City Council has demonstrated incredible forward vision by voting to abolish the city's police department, to be replaced by a yet to be announced new law and order regime based on love, inclusiveness, compassion & trust.

The City Council chair has announced that the model of publicly funded law enforcement is an outdated model and that the city will seek a more accomodating model. Not only has the city council voted to abolish the PD, but the vote was bipartisan to the extent that it had the necessary votes to overrule the expected mayoral veto.

A whopping 9 councillors voted to assume that all citizens of the great city of Minneapolis will never feel tempted to commit any crime in the future, as the outdated police department will no longer be there to discourage them.

When news of the vote was made public, career criminals rejoiced at the vision of the city's political leaders, complaining that their profession has been historically discriminated against and targeted by the MPD, citing statistics that show that 100% of prison inmates in Minnesota state prisons are criminals, despite only comprising less then 5% of the population. "Professional profiling at it's very worst", according to the state chapter of the Congress for the Rights of Individual Malevolence Society, or CRIMS. "We felons are a proud people, we are proud of our culture, we have been persecuted, we have been oppressed, America has a problem with instituionalised discrimanation against criminals of all shapes & sizes. This decision by the Minneapolis City Council is the breakthrough that we hope will see the dismantiling of all law enforcement in every American city, and ultimately that Great Satan, the FBI." The Minneapolis Council Chair intends to rename the main street in downtown Minneapolis "Criminal Lives Matter Plaza".

Law abiding citizens have launched counter protests to the dismantling of what they claim is necessary law enforcement for the safety of all law abiding citizens. However, criminal protesters have shouted down such protesters as bigots & criminalists. "Criminalism has no place in modern America. We are a nation that supports inclusiveness of all peoples, law abiding citizens are the problem." claim a CRIMS spokesman.




You need to be a member of 1Eyed Eel to add comments!

Join 1Eyed Eel

Replies are closed for this discussion.

Votes: 0


  • LOL!!! outstanding initiative from the great progressive city of Minneapolis. They're on the right track - next they need to start targeting the other scurge on modern society - the "hard working tax payer".

    I have forwarded this outstanding news to my pimply, fat arsed, never worked a day or paid a cent of tax in her life niece so that she can put it up on social media with her gag inducing heavily airbrushed duck face selfies and her recent bandwagon- reeking black lives matter posts.

    • Duck face selfies, lol, Uncle Kramer, you're killing me !!!

  • This would make all lefties wet themselves with excitement .

  • I said to my friend from Minnesota they needed to sack the police commissioner or governor over a week ago but I didn't mean the lot.  

  • Howdy boys . U all hav big harts 😢♥️ like my sons . Gbu 

    forgive me i don agree with no coppers.

    whose gonna stop the crims. N black haters still gonna be pea brains. haters gonna hate more .. gonna fix nothin 😪


    • Princess Tess 

      YOur white privelege is shinning through. EXpecting that police will make things better and not worse is for the privleged. Left wing victims don't have the option to call the police (according to the MInniapolis Mayor)

      • Wile my dear son. Don make no sense what your sayin.

        You don want cleaner coppers  ? You wanna keep the bad eggs ? Or want no coppers, silly billy?

        maybe my lifes easy cause im white n beautiful sooo? no pea brain excuses dear . GBU luv uxxx mwauuuu 

  • The most idiotic decison known to man. Any one supporting this I have no hesitation in calling a complete brainless moron,   Reform , starting from the top is one thing, but this decision is lunacy.

  • Nothing to see here ,any state that is run by the Democrats it’s bedlam ,especially high crime rate ,low standard of living,and high debt ,any resemblance to the labor party here .

  • Hahaha......

    You can't make this shit up.

    Can't wait till the crims and thugs start targeting these SJWs and Commies - i'll pay to see it. They'll be crying for mummy as soon as it happens.

This reply was deleted.

Latest comments

Alan Hunt replied to Hunterhunter's discussion Aiden Tolman??
"LOL Mick, we shouldn't laugh they probably have more to the multiple spoon winner in Murphy and i stack BA's water in Kidwell.
5 minutes ago
Darren Munro replied to Hunterhunter's discussion Aiden Tolman??
"No way lol"
8 minutes ago
Sir Col "THE ORIGINAL MUSHROOM" replied to Hunterhunter's discussion Aiden Tolman??
"Good choices Mick - their records whisper for themselves - just what we are used to."
15 minutes ago
Clintorian replied to SneakyEel's discussion Centre Prospects for 2021
"No chance we'll get Manu or Staggs, but either would be amazing. Stagg's defence will get better, still only young.
Walker seems settled at Manly.
16 minutes ago
Clintorian replied to SneakyEel's discussion Centre Prospects for 2021
"LOL - Great point! Haha"
18 minutes ago
Mitchy replied to SneakyEel's discussion Centre Prospects for 2021
"If the rumours are true, it seems we are looking at French. I am not sure where he goes, as Gutho has owned FB. French to centre? I have no idea....defence needs to be spot on at centre! as we have seen."
21 minutes ago
Sir Col "THE ORIGINAL MUSHROOM" replied to Big eel's discussion Anthem back on??
24 minutes ago
Mick replied to Hunterhunter's discussion Aiden Tolman??
"Al, I been told on good authority that BA has made huge changes to coaching staff from Nov 1 Ken Shine, Langmack, Craig Coleman will replace the 8th immortal and Arthur Kitinas will all join the coaching staff "
32 minutes ago
Wile E. Coyote replied to Hunterhunter's discussion Aiden Tolman??
"Thanks "
39 minutes ago
Bear replied to SneakyEel's discussion Centre Prospects for 2021
"Staggs yep"
39 minutes ago
colin hussey replied to Mullet's discussion Jai Field
"He's not shown on the eels team list webb page/  George Jennings is, although was said to be going to storm"
39 minutes ago
Mitchy replied to Hunterhunter's discussion Coaching Staff
"Good stuff, Paul or Richard? It was a classic show."
45 minutes ago
Alan Hunt replied to Hunterhunter's discussion Coaching Staff
"Paul Dean Anderson is always not far away mate."
46 minutes ago
Mitchy replied to Hunterhunter's discussion Coaching Staff
"Good point Al, 
Hey mate where is your avatar? Or is it my PC? McGyver has gone....."
53 minutes ago
Alan Hunt replied to Hunterhunter's discussion Coaching Staff
"He was also defensive coach for a side that leaked over 70 points in the two finals games.  We defended well early season when our forwards were dominant and we had the majority of the ball. After round 12 our defence was poor and it got worse as…"
1 hour ago
Mathew Clarke replied to SneakyEel's discussion Centre Prospects for 2021
"If we could get Semi he would only come to play centre and Fergo is a much better winger than he is a centre. Getting Semi to play centre would be nice though.
If Manu was available I would hope that the Eels would make a big play for him. He is a…"
1 hour ago


Aiden Tolman??

What about signing Aiden Tolman for 1 year? I realise he's getting on a bit and the dogs don't want him but if he's refreshed and only coming off the bench for 1 year adding that maturity to our young props, could work maybe? He wouldn't be too…

Read more…
27 Replies · Reply by Alan Hunt 5 minutes ago

<script src=""></script>
<!-- Sidebar -->
<script>// <![CDATA[
(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});
// ]]></script>