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CLEAN Jokes

Ordering a Pizza in 2022

CALLER:

Is this Pizza Hut?

GOOGLE:

No sir, it's Google Pizza.

CALLER:

I must have dialed a wrong number, sorry.

GOOGLE:

No sir, Google bought Pizza Hut last month.

CALLER:

OK. I would like to order a pizza.

GOOGLE:

Do you want your usual

Landscaping design programs or apps ? ( Matterson edition wanted )

Being lazy , just tonight I'd ask the group .  I want to do a rough design of my backyard and pool area and do a mock up of how I want my landscaping to look, does anyone know if there's a free app or program you can download to do a mock up design o

Jarryd Hayne’s 3rd sexual assault trial is listed to start tomorrow morning Monday 6th March in the Downing Centre District Court Sydney

Good luck Hayne , 

Wanderers atmosphere

Went to the game last night at Parra for Wanderers vs Sydney FC. The atmosphere was phenomenal and trumps anything in Australian sport. From the pre game march to the actual game itself, the whole thing is amazing.

How come soccer always manages to g

Best investigative journalist in Sydney

Can anyone recommend an investigative journalist?

Much appreciated

Wile e Coyote (not about Acme - I am over them)

Eels double blow as Blake breaks arm; Brown suffers hamstring injury

https://www.foxsports.com.au/nrl/nrl-premiership/nrl-2023-offseason-central-waqa-blake-broken-arm-eels-nathan-brown-hamstring-returns-dates/news-story/9dd9ba75142c8b05ae90261c902b012b

Jokes Section - ADULTS ONLY

A man asks the aged Reverend what are the chances he’ll get to heaven when he dies, and the Reverend says that there is a good chance but first he’ll have to clean up his life, i.e. no smoking, no booze and certainly no he should control

his apparent

The Way of the Water....latest AVATAR Film

I went to see this last night and I was a little concerned that Chiefy ......our resident expert on everything said it was a snorefest!

Well Chiefy showed all his reliability by again being proved totally wrong.

This is a magnificent peice of film maki

Pool question.

Around the pool - Concrete vs Eko decking  ? 

Have had a concrete Plungie Max pool plonked in the ground , approx sitting 300mm above ground level and am torn between concreting around it or Eko decking .  

anyone able to share their experiences with e

The police murders

So treading lightly around this one , can we discuss with respect to the unfortunate police.  

Act of terrorisim or what ? We are seeing way too much sypanthy for the killer for my liking , why ? Is it because he's indigenous or because nobody wants t

Fleetwood Mac singer songwriter Christine McVie passes away aged 79

Christine McVie, Fleetwood Mac singer-songwriter, dies aged 79 (msn.com)

One of the giants has left us, RIP C-Mac

Joke of the week

Man and he wife sitting watching tv then Lady go oh my God i pain in the belly she goes again oh my God i got a pain in the belly 

Husband say to the dr there is a new dr just two house down from here go to see him and tell them you in pain

So she does

Concerts

Following up on my discussion over favourite music artists, i want to know what concerts you have seen live and on top of that were there any acts in particular that were pretty average when you thought they would be amazing.

Thankfully i haven't had

What are everyone's music tastes?

So i have been told, especially for my age, i have a very odd taste in music compared to my peers. I was brought up listening to who my mum and dad played in the car, usually with long car trips to the Gold Coast. They would play a mixture of everyth

Massive news in the world of potato chips!

Seeings its the off season and its a bit slow here ive got big news about chips, we have a new flavour, see above..

If you saw these chips at Woolworths, would you buy them just to see what they taste like? How many packs?

Id definitely give them a go,

Im leaving on a jet plane......thanks to SEN 1170

Not long back from one of the most amazing 24 hours I have had in my life. I listen to Vossy and Brandy for breakfast radio on SEN 1170 and on Wednesday morning Vossy mentioned that it was unfair Parramatta supporters couldn’t get to Townsville due t

SWANS getting humiliated and destroyed in the GF, how does this happen to a team on the big day?

Anybody watching the AFL GF?

Its 3 quarter time and the swans are getting beat by Geelong, 101-27, FMD, what an embarrassment to the AFL and Swans.

What makes a team play or fail like this on the big day? it would make an interesting study.

This is almo

Support thread for our brother HELL ON EELS/HOE

Just thought i'd make a blog for our brother and moderator, HOE.

I havnt seen him around since he informed me that his young son is very unwell and in ICU, this is obviously very serious.

If you notice he isnt around he has much more pressing issues to

The birth of a new Global order

I am not sure if there is an appetite for a blog like this at this time of the footy season. I will put it up anyway. There is a lot happening on the world stage at the moment and no one really knows how it will end. or where we are headed. Tensions

Wiremu GREIG sent off in reggies for massive hit!

It is worth a watch! The sound of the impact alone was crazy.  Refs reason for marching him,  " He had the opportunity to soften the tackle".  I kid you not!

EE