One evening, the old farmer decided to take a walk to the pond, since it had been a while since he had been there. He took a large white bucket to collect some fruit on the long walk to the remote area.
As he approached the pond, he heard voices laughing and shouting with joy. As he walked further, he saw that several young women were bathing naked in his pond.
He made his presence known, and they all moved to the deep end. One of the girls shouted at him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"
The old farmer frowned, "I didn't come here to watch you girls swim naked or get you out of the pond without your clothes on."
Holding up his bucket, he said, "I'm here to feed the crocodile."
Some old men can still think quickly.
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This is a favourite!
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple’s house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, ‘Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.’
The other man said, ‘What is the name of the restaurant?’
The first man thought and thought and finally said, ‘What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love?
You know… The one that’s red and has thorns.’
‘Do you mean a rose?’
‘Yes, that’s the one,’ replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, ‘Rose, what’s the name of that restaurant we went to last night?’
About time I updated a joke.
Its a good one and its about PETS.
A burglar breaks into a house. He begins to search the home for valuables when hears a quiet voice say, “Jesus is watching you” he dismisses it as paranoia and carries on with his crime.
He hears the voice again “Jesus is watching you”. He’s knows this time it’s not in his head so he looks around the room and sees a parrot in the corner. He walks over to the parrot and it repeats one more time “Jesus is watching you”.
The burglar says to the parrot. “Is your name Jesus?” “No it’s Moses” the parrot replied. The burglar laughs and says “Who names a parrot Moses?” and the parrot says “The same person who named the Rottweiler Jesus.”
Ha! Pops.
How is Karen?
Came home today thanks NOS, difficult time, got a bacterial infection and it wasn touch and go for a while.
She now has 5% of her large colon left.
Sorry to hear this , glad she's home.
Ah sorry to hear Pops, thoughts are with you guys, know you have both been through the ringer lately.
At least she is home, bet thats a relief for her?
I wish your wife all the very best and a million blessings .
Hope you and your family are well Pops. Since having my son i have never fully realised the importance of family more than now. You are a good man.
A sport's car is speeding down the empty highway, a police car chases after it. The driver in the sport car decides to use his superior speed to escape since there is no way a cheap police car can catch up to him in his $200000 Lamborghini. But after half an hour chase, the police car is still hot on his heel's
Deciding not to risk this any further, he decides to pulls over.
The policeman walks to his car window.
I’m sorry officer, just excited to get this new car. Promise it won’t happen again.
The Copper say's yeh! understand. I like speed too.
The Copper thinks for a minute, this is his last shift, he wants to go home, not do more paperwork.
So the cop says, if you can tell me a good joke, I will let you off!
Well to tell you the truth, a police officer ran off with my wife a couple of weeks ago......and I thought it was him chasing me trying to give her back.... I panicked and hit the accelerator.
Off you go son, I can relate to that!
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry.
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!"
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Bob has been missing since Friday.
This is one of my favs, hope you don't mind me adding Pops.
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