One evening, the old farmer decided to take a walk to the pond, since it had been a while since he had been there. He took a large white bucket to collect some fruit on the long walk to the remote area.
As he approached the pond, he heard voices laughing and shouting with joy. As he walked further, he saw that several young women were bathing naked in his pond.
He made his presence known, and they all moved to the deep end. One of the girls shouted at him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"
The old farmer frowned, "I didn't come here to watch you girls swim naked or get you out of the pond without your clothes on."
Holding up his bucket, he said, "I'm here to feed the crocodile."
Some old men can still think quickly.
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I had another kidney stone surgery around Easter and nurses at the private hospital I was done at were incredible. The public not so much when I got my attack but the private were top tier.
But I remember last year when I got sick I went back to the hospital, the doctors were not great but the nurses worked their arses off.
Look after yourself as well as her Poppa. Home is great.
I didn't see any of these kind words up until now, thank you all, very kind of you.
Makes me feel a bit poor Randolph calling you a "fatassed" bigot so I will rephrase it to 'skinny assed." LOL
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry.
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!"
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Bob has been missing since Friday.
This is one of my favs, hope you don't mind me adding Pops.
Strange to put that joke on the same page as my wife recovers, never was my intention, thought this was going on the social blog. Might move it I think.
Hope I didn't offend with my joke Pops. Not my intention.
Please don't apologise LB, I didn't see your joke at all to start with and I thought that a strange place to put mine so i took it down and apologised for where i put it. It make's my response sound terrible to you, cannot apologise enough, you came to the party and quiet simply, I was in the emporer's new clothes i.e nothing.
It was like "fate" just gave me a huge kick in the arse.
PS That joke column we have running on the social page and that's where I moved my one too. Your jokes a good one LB can I suggest you move it to the same section, where it can be read in perpetuity.
Again I cannot apologise enough.
I received the following text from my neighbor:
Heartbroken and enraged Randolph, went into his bedroom, grabbed his wife, and threw her out the back door.
A few moments later, a second text came in:
– Damn autocorrect. I meant "wifi", not "wife".
I know very little about NFL other than REMEMBER THE TITANS....so because we are struggling with our image again, I thought maybe we should import fans from other codes.....
as i said I know little about these things but a knowledgeable WOMAN on the site would be handy, respect to Carlo and Mace notwithstanding!
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A Guy Takes His Girlfriend To Her First Football Game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench.
After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.
"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!"
CE is she a family member? we need a female Camel Herder......Randolph has already captured the "TOE".
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