Jokes Section - ADULTS ONLY

A man asks the aged Reverend what are the chances he’ll get to heaven when he dies, and the Reverend says that there is a good chance but first he’ll have to clean up his life, i.e. no smoking, no booze and certainly no he should control

his apparent out of control sexual urge . So the man thought he’d at least give it a try and all went well for a few days, but then….. ‘T’raaaaan’…. there was his wife bent U shape right in the freezer, and he couldn’t help tearing off her bloomers and giving her a doggy turn. He felt guilty about it afterwards and called back in and told the Reverend .The aged Reverend said, “Don’t worry my son, one now and then won’t hurt your future in heaven.” To which the man replied, “Oh thank goodness for that, that’s great news ‘cause now we’re both banned from Harvey Norman Stores "

 

You need to be a member of 1Eyed Eel to add comments!

Join 1Eyed Eel

Votes: 0
Email me when people reply –

Replies

                    • 10947705489?profile=RESIZE_584x

                    • Agreed Tad . Without a rare suitable substitute, I don't think it possible to give up any serious addiction when suffering severe depression. 

                    • Actually that bloke looks pretty fit to me Snakey....Do Snakes become blurry when you slither around all the time?

                      Tad my cigarette cost's are ameliarated by my rolling my own tobacco.....I have a litttle machine that does the rolling and it keeps my hands occupied between drinking and placing bets. Say 4 bottles of wine a week is $30 and my tobacco and ancillories probably 10/20 a week. I don't real account for it like that just the same....a bottle of Frangelica is $35 and lasts a couple of weeks.

                      PS I only gamble on Saturday's not Tuesdays.

                      The problems with expenses for some people is based on the addictive aspects, you and Driza refer to i.e. do it every day, you will kill yourself, do it in a controlled way and you can look forward and enjoy it.

                      Every and Anything is a bore if it becomes too repititious.

                      NB My fridge (alfresco) is always full of Grog and food as we entertain someone every Tuesday and on many weekends.eg Sir Col used to come on the occasional Tuesday, in the early days with Drop Bear and even Doc (Rider) came once but I dont think he approved of all the alcohol.....I have issued an open invitation to Brissy Eel but he hasn't taken it up yet. I think he will!

                      On Tuesday afternoons we have the nursing home participants (there is no actual nursing home) and then link up with Slug and Doctor Wong in the national phone hook up, Slug being in Sydney and Wongy in Woolgoolga (Coffs Area),

                       Its not a hard life, IEE give's me a nice outlet and I still have my "mancave business" which I run soley 4 days a week.

                    • 4 bottles is a bit high Pops.

                      A pipe is a much better self-image and there is always a good substitute for alcohol10948647493?profile=RESIZE_930x

                       

                    • I am not that worried about self image Tad, if people cant take me with my external image, then bad luck.

                      4 Bottles a week is not much, my doctor said it was good for me, he has a couple of whiskies every night he tells me.

                    • I reckon if you enjoy it no worries pops. The negative impact on health from alcohol tends to get a bit over exaggerated as long as you aren't drinking so much it effects the liver or you drink so much as that the calory impact becomes an issue particularly beer. The main thing to do is have days without drinking like you are doing. I drink a bit not as much as I used to mind you but l find it relaxes me. 

                    • Michael my poor Dad died at 59 from liver issues using alcohol as medication for depression in the days when depression illness was not on the medical agenda. Lots of issues now being discussed in Northern Territory about restricting alcohol usage as medication. I doubt it will work. Not sure how they will address this stuff successfully

                      I admire people like Driza and others who have managed to overcome an addiction. It is difficult for people to accept they have addictions.That is the first and most difficult part of the process.

                      As part of my job many years ago I tried to refer people to AA. Heart breaking stories. Some absolutely incredible people work in AA who understand perfectly the hardships people go through which affects relationships in many people connected with these types of addictions. 

                      Thanks for hearing me out Pops.I have crashed out a few friends in my lifetime for my interference in their affairs.

                      I often talk about people who do things for money even when they have a lot. People in AA and other similar organisations do this work as volunteers. Gods gift to those in hardships 

                    • 10948702458?profile=RESIZE_400x

                    • LOL . Look what 2 bottles of wine each week does . Too late for Poppa to get glasses - he is totally blind . 

                    • Very sorry to hear that. Yes for some it is an issue or an addiction that overwhelmes I don't deny that. The way pops describes his drinking though it seems it is something that he enjoys and manages. Like me he drinks to help enjoy himself not to combat depression or negative thoughts. If you drink to feel better or ''normal' then it's a problem. I identified I was doing that for a while in my own life so I stopped drinking completely for a while and only resumed when I knew my life was on track and I'd be drinking to elevate an already happy enough mood. 

This reply was deleted.

Latest comments

Randy Handlinger replied to Fiddy's discussion Leave Samrani at centre
"nice"
11 minutes ago
Mathew Clarke replied to Fiddy's discussion Leave Samrani at centre
"I think Penisini should be put on the wing as he has great carries (when not injured), which is needed out of yardage, and would steam roll most other wingers when finishing off tries. He could be a bit like Greg Marshew for us. Near unstopable at…"
29 minutes ago
mongolian trotting duck replied to Fiddy's discussion Leave Samrani at centre
"a lot of the laterall movement issues is because the plant their heels instead of staying on their toes "
29 minutes ago
mongolian trotting duck replied to Fiddy's discussion Leave Samrani at centre
"lb if you dont play him you wont see if his up to it"
35 minutes ago
LB replied to Poppa's discussion Poppas Corner: What other team could possibly deliver , guts, glory and heartaches.....and some dare to say they don't know why we support them?
"Da Silva just turned 21. What he is showing now is pretty good for a 21 year old. Out of all you just mentioned he has the most upside. Does he meet the potential? Who knows."
1 hour ago
Parra fan on The Hill replied to Fiddy's discussion Leave Samrani at centre
"Samrani has such a high IQ. Proved it many times in his handful of games. He's our best centre hands down."
1 hour ago
Coryn Hughes replied to Fiddy's discussion Leave Samrani at centre
"This is the worry the fact that we have to use Samrani hose doing a job but revert back to Penisini  says a lot about our lack of development in that area.Back 5 Parra have been terrible bringing s juniors through the last decade."
3 hours ago
Coryn Hughes replied to Fiddy's discussion Leave Samrani at centre
"💯 
The games a track meet now teams like the Cows Manly Dolphins and alike are just deadly you give there outside backs any space and it's over red rover.
Everyone is pretty much running the same type of attacking structure so we have to have…"
3 hours ago
Coryn Hughes replied to Poppa's discussion Poppas Corner: What other team could possibly deliver , guts, glory and heartaches.....and some dare to say they don't know why we support them?
"TDS's ball distribution was my #1 bugger bare of him I don't know how long ago.
But guess what it's improved I think there's some obvious work that's taken place on that front.
Volkman is a hit or miss for me he's had his moments but he feels like a…"
5 hours ago
Snottie Pimpin replied to Fiddy's discussion Leave Samrani at centre
"I agree wholeheartedly with this  . I actually feel we are a pretty well coached football side. Most of the rubbish stems from guys losing athletically or making bad decisions. The system itself isn't the issue. Our recruitment and retention team…"
5 hours ago
Prof. Daz replied to Fiddy's discussion Leave Samrani at centre
"Russell was marking Chester?"
7 hours ago
JC replied to Fiddy's discussion Leave Samrani at centre
"Chester has been burning everyone he had been up against this year. Has speed to burn."
8 hours ago
JC replied to Fiddy's discussion Leave Samrani at centre
"Well I was under the impression thathe was re-signed, hopefully he isn't. "
8 hours ago
Kurupt - Your Mums Favourite Thug replied to Fiddy's discussion Leave Samrani at centre
"🤣"
11 hours ago
LB replied to Fiddy's discussion Leave Samrani at centre
"Only seen him for 2 games, need to see more of Nanva."
11 hours ago
Xman replied to Poppa's discussion Poppas Corner: What other team could possibly deliver , guts, glory and heartaches.....and some dare to say they don't know why we support them?
"Agree, Samrani just seems to be in the right place at the right time and can find the line, he is not the quickest or have flashy footwork so eventually see him moving to second row but he is just reliable. 
TDS was great last night and is damn…"
12 hours ago
More…

Keaon done deal

As of Thursday, December 11, 2025, South Sydney Rabbitohs forwardKeaon Koloamatangi has reportedly agreed to a deal with the Parramatta Eels, but it is not yet officially announced by the clubs.  Soon to be announced.

Read more…
14 Replies · Reply by Poppa Jan 9
Views: 2408

 

<script src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js"></script>
<!-- Sidebar -->
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<script>// <![CDATA[
(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});
// ]]></script>