Jokes Section - ADULTS ONLY

A man asks the aged Reverend what are the chances he’ll get to heaven when he dies, and the Reverend says that there is a good chance but first he’ll have to clean up his life, i.e. no smoking, no booze and certainly no he should control

his apparent out of control sexual urge . So the man thought he’d at least give it a try and all went well for a few days, but then….. ‘T’raaaaan’…. there was his wife bent U shape right in the freezer, and he couldn’t help tearing off her bloomers and giving her a doggy turn. He felt guilty about it afterwards and called back in and told the Reverend .The aged Reverend said, “Don’t worry my son, one now and then won’t hurt your future in heaven.” To which the man replied, “Oh thank goodness for that, that’s great news ‘cause now we’re both banned from Harvey Norman Stores "

 

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  • I liked it Driza

  • Haha Driza.

    Poppa Don,t get any ideas from this.It's not okay to do this stuff at Harvey Normans or even the Goodguys

  • Ha Poppa and Tad you both like it because it sounds like your fantasy . Best to shop after hours if you are planning this and seriously a warning do not attempt this on Black Friday or Boxing Day sale days. 

    • Haha Driza I think Pops is having second thoughts about even shopping after-hours quiet times these days. probably the fantasy stuff is safest

      10898594891?profile=RESIZE_180x180

      • Pops is currently in Bali inspecting future hotels that dont have escalators, that one there you have of me I can't even remember getting up, but I must have because I have had 3 massages in two days and it hasn't been a problem at all.

        • Haha enjoy your trip Pops  Watch out for the Greenies as well.

        • No doubt the bali sex crimes unit is on high alert and have officers watching you at all times pops lol?

          How much you bribing them with this time?

          • there is no sex crimes in Bali snakey, they have just banned sex unless your married..... luckily i qualify one way or another LOL

        • Well Tad  I think Pops can give up hope of ever being an Olympic gymnast , or is it just his perennial alcohol consumption issue ? 

          • I once did a double roll with a tuck Driza, the only problem is i didn't realise you were supposed to eat it!

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