You know there is no god when....

Months ago, I agreed to go to Vietnam to do some teaching. I didn't know then that the date would clash with the Parra - Dragons game at Parra Stadium. I didn't know then that Parra would be going so well or that the game would be a saturday afternoon home game on a glorious autumn day. I had to go to Vietnam, so I had a plan to watch it live via the Internet.I was scheduled to give a 1 hour lecture on Saturday morning. It was to finish at 11 am followed by question time. This could work I thought. Back to the hotel, which had a very good internet connection, by 12. Three hour time difference so just in time for kick off at 3 pm Parra Stadium time.I had had a good feeling about this game. I had watched us kill the Sharkies the week before and I thought if we could defend the middle better against the Dragons then we would win big. In fact, I just knew we were going to win big. It's that feeling of certainty you get sometimes. I had been anticipating watching the game all week. It's a bit like knowing that your favourite food is about to be put in front of you and you know you are going to enjoy it. Or a bit like watching her slowly undress when you know what's going to happen next and you just know you are going to be a winner, if you know what I mean.Anyway, the day came. The function was late starting so I didn't get going til 10.30. No problem I thought, I'll cut it down a bit and finish early. So I whiz through my presentation and then there is question time. I've never had so many questions. Read it all in the text books why don't you? Don't you know that Parra is playing this afternoon? The interpreter is so slow too, so I give very brief answers, sneaking glances at my watch. It's 11.30- I can still do this I think to myself.At last it's over and I get ready to leave. My host smiles and tells me they have planned a special lunch in my honour. A little part of me dies inside. I turn to my interpreter and say, "but don't they know the Eels are playing in 20 MINUTES!" I think he interprets this as, "our honoured guest would like to eat an eel," but I am not sure.There is no way out. I can't offend my hosts and I can't explain that I have a higher calling. Surely, there is no god I think to myself. Then I think, maybe a quick lunch and I can catch the second half. But no, it's a banquet where the courses come one at a time, one after the other, rather than all at once and there are about 10 of them. It's etiquette here to eat at the same pace as the honoured guest and to bring out the courses when he has finished the last one. So I am eating fast and my hosts are struggling to keep up. I borrow a phone as my connection isn't working, telling my host that I just have to check some urgent work messages and I get on 1-Eyed eel and I learn it is half time and we are 12-0 up and I just know we are going to kill them dead in the second half and I just have to watch this because I have been waiting for years for Parra to kill a team dead.Finally and hopefully without appearing to rush too much, lunch is over so I thank my hosts and jump in a cab back to my hotel and race up to my room. I get my iPad out to go online ready to savour at least some of the second half and I get a message on my screen that says, "the management apologises for the temporary internet outage which is due to scheduled maintenance". I ring the management and say, "what do you mean scheduled maintenance? Didn't you know the Eels were playing at 3pm" and he asks me whether I want to have room service deliver me some eels for my lunch at 3 pm" and I tell him no thank you and that now I know for certain that there really is no god and he is proof of this, but he doesn't seem to understand. So I lie on my bed staring at a blank iPad screen just knowing that the boys are tearing them up.That evening, when the internet finally came back online, I went to the NRL website to watch the video highlights. For some reason, the only one that would work was the one that showed Junior Paulo bulldozing them up the middle and then feeding Jarryd to score under the posts. As a result, I watched it about 15 times until I felt like I had a least seen something of the game. Now I love it when Parra's classy speed men send it out wide to sneak Sio over in the corner with a blade of grass to spare, but there is no better feeling than when a forward smashes them up the middle, cracks them, batters them, runs over the top of them and breaks them so that they know they are beaten. It's like tearing their beating heart out of their chest and eating the still pulsating flesh. It's that triumphant feeling of having gone out and killed your enemy.Junior Paulo is a beast. He has power and speed and skill. The way he broke them, then committed their fullback before feeding the swooping Hayne was brutal poetry in motion. Hayne is a master of the game. He will be an immortal in time.Maybe there is a god. If there is, Saint Jarryd is his apostle and Junior Paulo is surely his malevolent avenging angel.Go you mighty Eels.

"Yes i agree with your team list 100% as for Hopegood i think he needs to find form in reggies or 17. 18 swap with Doorey
I do think his form is not there .

In saying this do you guys think Moses last 2 games were not what he is capable of dishing…"

"Would Parra consider signing the May brothers from the Wests Tigers ?
I do think both would be a good get if possible for next sesaon aswe all know thanks to Lomax players contracts dont mean much.

For me the players i would like to snare from the…"

Replies

FishFood May 18, 2014 at 6:24pm

Haha, nice story Peter. Don't feel too bad, every time I start to lose faith, I watch a raiders press conference and immediately I know there is a god after all!
Tentonz May 18, 2014 at 6:51pm

Top story Pete, did you end up eating an Eel?
Peter Kay May 18, 2014 at 8:02pm

I hope not, but up here you never quite know.
IH8Manly & IEspeciallyH8Qld May 18, 2014 at 8:07pm

If it moves and it fits in your mouth, it's edible.

If it doesn't fit in your mouth, chop it up first.
realeel 86 May 19, 2014 at 12:18am

I'm off to america in 3 weeks. Will only miss 3 eels games. But have digital pass so that's a good thing
Tentonz May 19, 2014 at 7:00am

If you're overseas, you can watch all the games, live or replay, in HD, at livestream.com/nrl
- Peter Kay > Tentonz May 19, 2014 at 10:16am
  
  To watch them live on any portal, you still need a working internet!
  Also, I just checked livestream.com - it's blocked in Burma, where I am this week. It seems it's only available in some countries.
Peter Kay May 19, 2014 at 10:17am

I am not sure. I am not a teacher but a medico and I get invited up from time to time to give a guest lecture.

This reply was deleted.

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