Once you start on your journey of discovery there is no end to the things that will amaze you.
Last night, Friday September 11 2020 many of the deluded and ill informed members of 1 Eyed Eel came face to face with amazing discoveries they never thought possible.
They discovered the Penny Farting Pretenders are not a threat in the race to the trophy come season's end.
They discovered that without a formidable short kicking game Tic Toc has not much else to offer his team.
They discovered the Eels have steel in their defence, but extremely diluted cat's piss in their attack.
They discovered their denigration of our three replacement players showed many to be completely devoid of knowledge of the game and the players in our roster.
They discovered Will Smith (The Fresh Priince) was everywhere in defence and made a couple of quick darts from dummy half to catch the opposition napping.
They discovered (author included) that Ray Stone, a lock is passable as a dummy half and as strong a defender as any other member of the team.
They discovered Jai Field, the much maligned (he is useless in defence) was one of our strongest defenders on the night. He had little to no opportunity to show his wares in attack, simply beacause, in a later discovery we find the Eels do not have an attack.
They discovered the Spaniel is a Morris Cooper S fitted with a V10 Ferrari Formula One engine that never stops trying to inspire his team.
They discovered the love affair between Blake Ferguson and Waqa Blake is costing us points. As these two love birds cuddle and kanoodle in the middle of the oval the opposition simply stroll on by while the rest of the team desperately try to fill the gaps.
They discovered our Illustrious Third Rate U8s Bush Coach should be moved on for no other reason than the team has regressed over the term of this season (and previous seasons) to the point they no longer have the blind faith in him achieving a GF in this lifetime.
One of the greatest dicoveries however was coming to the realisation the much maligned Frankie Fong has been right all along. Frankie was the first to coin the title Bush Coach, which is growing at such a rapid rate the ASX has been shut down to invesigate for Insider trading. Frankie was the first to point out the major fault with our MIA halfback, who contributes nothing to our attack. Now granted MIA did pull off some magnificent tackles, one a try saver for sure, but apart from his ability to send 5th tackle kicks a longway down field, directly to the opposing FB or winger mind you that is all he has to offer.
They also discovered the abilty for our *cough*splutter* coach to come up with a game plan that left every coach in the International RL scene speechless. 87.3% of our attack was one out hit ups down the middle with a kick and hope at the end, the hope being the opposition FB or winger will spill the pill. Must have learned this move as understudy to Craig Bellamy as Stephen Kearney was renowned for a similar tactic.
What did you discover on this unforgettable night of discovery?
Replies
Well I've discovered that I'm just lost for words and can't think of anything left to say
I discovered you are not pie eyed after an exhausting day at the races quaffing $4.00 bottles of vinegar.
Very clever. Very true too.
Getting a large corine of Peed in Ham soup - with sweet potarto - to the team to toughen them up.
Go for it Slugg and everyone can kiss our collective arses if they disagree.
I've still got nothing to say
But you say nothing with such eloquence and tact.