Pick Up lines - funniest/best/worst you've heard

I'm after more distraction on a grand final long weekend that has no Parra representation. In this blog I'm looking for pick up lines that you've actually heard, not the corny ones that we hear in movies or the old ones we know like heaven called, it's missing an angel etc.I don't have a funny contribution but rather one that a mate used that was original. At Parra leagues club, around 34 years ago, he spots a young woman enjoying the music at her table. She was hand jiving and grooving so he goes over and says to her, whilst pointing to the dance floor, "how'd you like to do that out there?" Two years later he married her.Over to you now. I'm sure we'll hear some more original ones and some to avoid. Think of this as an education process for any unattached one-eyeds who need help in this department!

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  • Your eyes are like spanners.....
    Every time you look at me, my nuts tighten!
  • How'd that one work out for ya?
    • He's got a very high pitched voice these days.
  • Watched my best mate walk up to a stunner at a nightclub and put his keys and wallet in her handbag, she says to him WTF and he goes" just saving some time later on when i take you home to my place"

    Needless to say the only thing he took home that night were blue balls.

    Another night he walked up to a young lass with a nice full chest and licked his finger and stuck it right on her braless and impressive chest and said "lets get you out of these wet clothes"

    He copped a paddling for that one lol.

    A young Al was away on a cricket trip once and doing his best with a fairly attractive bird, surprising i was doing well but couldn't get rid of her annoying chunky friend with an overbite and a face like a smacked arsehole.

    After finally having enough of this cockblocking nightmare i say to her "would you like to dance"????

    She says "i would love to"

    And i say "great fuck off so i can talk with your friend alone"   After getting my face slapped by lobotomy girl her friend got up and called me a pig and left.  I went back to the bar with a hand print on my face and my mates pissing themselves laughing.

  • This reply was deleted.
    • Some dude said to me ' I am unemployed at the moment, but I own a tinnie', this was is Newcastle at ' the worlds biggest disco ' though . Enough said.
    • Go on..................
  • Gee real panty dropping line that one.

    • Yeh but I probably rejected Nathan Tinkler and his millions lol

  • A painter told me he just played the probabilities.
    No nonsense he just went up to women and asked if they would like to have sex with him.
    He said it had about a 1 in 200 success rate in night clubs.
    So he just went from girl to girl asking until he got a yes, and a well slapped face.
    He also used change electrical wires and light switches without turning off the electricity- said he got a buzz from his screw driver
  • But imagine if it backfired and the guy said ' well taronga is that way ' lol
This reply was deleted.

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