New owners at Parramatta...

Hill song new owners? News to me!!!Today, after years of close association, The Parramatta District Rugby League Football Club has formally entered the inner sanctum of the Hillsong Church – they are now owned by them.This is the first time a professional sporting team in has been bought by a religious organisation and is what some describe as a bold strategy towards growing both club and church memberships, as the two communities become one.Former player and Parramatta royalty, Nathan Hindmarsh, spoke to the Betoota Advocate today about the feelings amongst fans and past-players“Look, they haven’t done too well over the years. Not since I left”Former player, Nathan Hindmarsh, is well known as one of the players “that God forgot”“A lot of people have said for years that Parramatta needs God. It’s pathetic… Sticky Ricky [Ricky Stuart] f**ked everything up in the space of twelve months. One year of bad coaching and we lost more games than ever before, we lost more fans than ever before – and worst of all, we lost a LOT of money. Hillsong are here to help with that. I’m not saying I’m happy about it, but it’s really all we have got.”This has been long-time coming, 2009’s Grand Final confirmed the clubs spirituality as many though it was literally God that had gotten them there. Not to mention the well-known relationship between Hillsong and the actual players. Current captain, Tim Mannah, is a die-hard member of Hillsong and says he couldn’t be happier about the new ownership“I am so freaking stoked, all my mates that I play footy with and all my mates that I sing and clap with are coming together as one! This is better than the time I got married and got to finally have sex!Eels captain and devout “happy clapper” – Tim MannahThe holy union between Hillsong and the Eels was wedded by former Parramatta CEO Paul Osborne, a senior member of the congregation. A resident of the Hills District, Osborne leveraged contacts within the church to organise last year’s NRL mission to Rwanda where players helped build an orphanage for genocide victims.The relationship between the two communities rose to the point where Hillsong founder Brian Houston now watches games from the team enclosure, while his eldest son Billy has joined pre-match prayers in the dressing room.Hillsong Founder, Brian Houston, son of the self-confessed child molesting pastor Frank Houston – is a die-hard Parramatta fanAn excited onlooker at yesterday’s training run at Parramatta, Billy said the Houstons were life-long Eels fanatics.“Dad used to take me and my brother (Keith) to the home games when we were children,” Ben, a Hillsong pastor, said.“I was at the 2001 Grand Final that Parramatta lost to Newcastle, and that was pretty disappointing.”This multi million dollar take over is set to cause great debate in Western Sydney, with Eels fans of many different faiths this looks to scuttle the clubs plans of creating an all Halal catering menu for Parramatta stadium, which has been in the pipelines for a long time now at Eels headquaters.The new Hillsong deal means that the stadium and leagues club are to be used for Hillsong functions and large events. This is where Hindmarsh thinks things will get sticky:Eels Leagues Club, an iconic venue known for the depressing amounts of “pokie machines” on all three floors“I just hope these happy clappers know what it means to be involved with a club like Parra’ – It means hard-drinking, reckless gambling, disgustingly low standards when it comes to womanizing and lots of off-field violence.“I’m not sure they are ready for this, but I know one thing: If they try to fuck around with the culture, they’ll be as popular as Sticky. I built a career on those ovals – and I blew most of my wealth on those pokie machines. Parramatta means a lot to people like me.

"I don't think you can build any team chemistry swapping players every season like that, if Parra can somehow get Burton out of it but I'll take it 😂"

Replies

Snakey - Sack Dylan Brown January 9, 2015 at 11:04pm

LOL
- Mr 'BringBackFitzy' Analyst > Snakey - Sack Dylan Brown January 9, 2015 at 11:07pm
  
  Snake have i missed something here? I had to read the article twice to make sure of wat i was reading!!
- GRUNTA - Death of a Salesman > Snakey - Sack Dylan Brown January 9, 2015 at 11:08pm
  
  ?
  
  Why LOL you poor pathetic parasite?
  
  See what I did there snakie? Push your balls aside.
fishbulb January 10, 2015 at 9:32am

Tee hee (or should I say Bazz-inga!). Great use of your time.
Mr 'BringBackFitzy' Analyst January 10, 2015 at 10:44am

Maybe the board were drawn to the light?
Glenn Lifetime Eel January 10, 2015 at 11:05am

Very funny Bazza, wonder how many people here will believe this dribble.
rozay January 10, 2015 at 1:39pm

I think Kearney fucked the club well before Stuart did
The Offside Eel January 10, 2015 at 2:15pm

That's so funny. Lets see who bites and thinks it's real.
Parrastew January 11, 2015 at 7:13am

Congrates Bazza B, this 'article' has gone viral on facebook. Last night my flatmate who has no interest in rugby league came up to me and told me that Hillsong has bought the Parra Eels, even told me it was and article in the betoota advocate. I am still rolling around on the floor laughing!
- fishbulb > Parrastew January 11, 2015 at 10:31am
  
  Jees some people are thick. Having said that, the Today show got caught by a betoota advocate article not long ago.....