We host our greatest and longest foe this afternoon. Can our brave 1986 premiership warriors inspire us?
"It's come without warning," Gus Gould told us earlier this week.
He was not referring to our injury list that is around half our squad. A M*A*S*H Unit.
He was talking about this year's madness. The huge increase in restarts and pedantic refereering this year. Manufacturing the Game. Ricky Stuart agrees. He said it's changed the "fabric of the game". Mike Meehall Wood, an insightful anaylst, calls it "enshittification".
The game is on overdrive like never before. The traffic cops have waved their arms off, and no-one knows what's happening and no-one is wearing seatbelts. Welcome to V'landy's Universe.
The Eels' demoralizing 52-10 loss to the Titans last week, stands in stark contrast to the Dogs' upset win against the Panthers; hot premiership favorites. But even more to the Eels 4-2 nail-bitting win over the Dogs in the 1986 decider.
In 1986, most games were decided by 1–12 points. Most were competitive.
Blowouts (20+) happened about 1 in 5 games.
In 2026 to date, blowouts happen 1 in every 2 games.
Games are now rarely built or lost over 80 minutes. They’re lost in bursts of 5-10 minutes of momentum. Restarts. Speed. Fatigue. Death Zones murdering defences.
Teams
Eels 16th vs Dogs 7th: Sunday, 19 April 2026, CommBank Stadium, 4:05pm (AEDT)
Referee: Liam Kennedy (Referee), Jon Stone (Touch Judge), Grant Atkins (Bunker)
Weather: Sunny, clear, 19–21°C, SE 19-33km/h Humidity 48%
Sportsbet: Dogs $1.21, Eels $4.45. Eels slumped to $126 this week, second-last in premiership market, with the Dragons at $501.
Eels: 1. Joash Papali’i 2. Brian Kelly 3. Viliami Penisini 19. Araz Nanva 5. Josh Addo-Carr 6. Ronald Volkman 7. Mitchell Moses 8. Luca Moretti 9. Ryley Smith 10. Junior Paulo 11. Charlie Guymer 12. Jack Williams 13. Dylan Walker
Bench: 14. Tallyn Da Silva 15. Saxon Pryke 16. Jack de Belin 17. Toni Mataele 18. Teancum Brown 20. Lorenzo Talataina 21. Jezaiah Funa-Luta
Reserves/Cut: 4. Sean Russell 22. Mohamed Alameddine
Head Coach: Jason Ryles.
Bulldogs: 1. Connor Tracey 2. Jacob Kiraz 3. Enari Tuala 4. Bronson Xerri 5. Marcelo Montoya 6. Matt Burton 7. Lachlan Galvin 8. Samuel Hughes 9. Bailey Hayward 10. Leo Thompson 11. Viliame Kikau 12. Jacob Preston 13. Jaeman Salmon
Bench: 14. Kurt Mann 15. Sitili Tupouniua 16. Harry Hayes 17. Jake Turpin 19. Jonathan Sua 20. Lipoi Hopoi 21. Josh Curran
Reserves/Cut: 22. Alekolasimi Jones 23. Stephen Crichton
Head Coach: Cameron Ciraldo.
Stat Attack
• The Eels have lost their last 3-straight against the Dogs.
• The Eels last beat the Dogs in 2024. And 1986.
• The Eels have leaked 122 points in three-straight losses at CommBank.
• Josh Addo-Carr has scored 11 tries in his last 8 games at CommBank.
• Enari Tuala has scored 6 tries in six games against the Eels.
• Will Penisini has scored 6 tries in 8 games against the Bulldogs.
Moses in the M*A*S*H Unit
“I’ve never really experienced or been a part of a team where we’re so injury bashed up. It’s a different challenge for myself in my football career." Mitch Moses admitted earlier this week.
“Being the captain, it’s something I’m excited for, to try to get us out of it. We’re all walking forward to it, there’s no hiding. It’s clear we weren’t happy with the performance on the weekend, so we don’t want that to happen again.
“Having young kids in, you don’t want to lose your head too much and then it filters down. I’m definitely taking a lot of lessons out of how I’ve been in the past and trying to be better there.
"We’ve got to be better as a whole team; it wasn’t just one person, it was everyone.
Low on troops. Low on Belief. Low on Cohesion and combinations, we're exposing weak-links across the park.
“We’re going to walk forward to the fire and see how we go," Moses said channeling Mr Pepetual Motion.
M*A*S*H's Hawkeye has an additional suggestion: “Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice: pull down your pants and slide on the ice."
The Rise of Blowouts (20+ margins, R1-R6)
| Yr | Games | No. | Ratio | % |
| 1986 | 36 | 7 | 1 in 5.1 | 19% |
| 2020 | 48 | 10 | 1 in 4.8 | 21% |
| 2021 | 48 | 14 | 1 in 3.4 | 29% |
| 2022 | 48 | 9 | 1 in 5.3 | 19% |
| 2023 | 48 | 11 | 1 in 4.4 | 23% |
| 2024 | 48 | 13 | 1 in 3.7 | 27% |
| 2025 | 48 | 16 | 1 in 3.0 | 33% |
| 2026 | 48 | 23 | 1 in 2.1 | 48% |
Slow Death Of Close Games (1-12 points, R1-R6)
| Yr | % games | Ratio |
| 1986 | 69% | 1 in 1.4 |
| 2020 | 65% | 1 in 1.5 |
| 2021 | 54% | 1 in 1.9 |
| 2022 | 63% | 1 in 1.6 |
| 2023 | 56% | 1 in 1.8 |
| 2024 | 54% | 1 in 1.9 |
| 2025 | 46% | 1 in 2.2 |
| 2026 | 35% | 1 in 2.8 |
The poles have swapped. The axis reversed.
Replies
We have to open the Straight of Hormuz to get enough hun 🤣🤣🤣🤣
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻
Dogs by 40
Luckily Owen is helping us avoid the dreaded spoon 🥄 🤣🤣🤣
Wow.
Thx for working through the frustration with Eels and posting a preview, HOE. Herculean effort of forgiveness!
If the embarrassment factor of their drastically incompetent and limp effort against the Titans doesn't spur them to some actual effort, I guess looking into the faces of Eels legends later will just be that even more humiliating. Surely impending shame can motivate them to at least put on a fair show?
In a weird way, a good performance might be the most troubling? The "where was that" argument would then strongly suggest will power to compete is not under control. But I'm not sure the troops are there to do much more than offer temporary resistance.
You're right Daz, we're in a deep hole and its getting dark in there. Last weeks effort would have shamed our boys to the core, but maybe to a degree that feeling could motivate the squad to Stand up this week! While some would say, "some hope of that," we've done it before and its never out of the question for Parra. If we do give them a shock I'll be happy and if we were to win well.....
Id like to see
Joash - improve and not not throw away possession so easily. Run the ball like Jai Gray, and stop thinking about miracle passes or he's out the door.
Araz - imrovrove in his second appearance. Be confident
Moretti - prove that he's first grade worthy.
Mataele - this could be his final chance otherwise he's looking for another career.
Volkman - same as above. Last chance otherwise give Lorenzo a go. What do we have to lose.
It's hard to find the energy to spruik the Eels at the moment. Kudos HOE, who in the team is playing Klinger ? And the answer cannot be "most of them are trying out for the role"
'Give me a battle hardened Sherman Potter charging a top his steed with sworn drawn into battle. No quarter given.
Be great if this 'Licorice Allsorts' can topple the Dogs but it will require a massive 100 repeat sets to the Eels courtesy of the NRL referees
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