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One of the great things about strap-ons is that anyone can use them. If you have a penis, you can use a strap-on. If you don't have a penis, you can use a strap-on. You can use a strap-on to penetrate a partner of any gender, to subvert stereotypical gender roles or to play with those roles. You can use one for fun, or you can use one to manage erectile or orgasmic challenges. You can use a strap-on for vaginal sex, anal sex, oral sex, manual sex or masturbation.

Learn the Basics

Strap-ons are obviously meant to mimic the look and experience of having a penis. The basic strap-on setup is comprised of a harness and a dildo. The dildo has a flared base; the harness typically has an O-ring that the dildo gets threaded through. The combination of the flared base and the O-ring hold the dildo in place against the wearer's pelvis.

Harnesses typically come in one of three styles:

Jockstrap. This version looks like a classic jockstrap, with straps around the waist and over each butt cheek.
Thong. This style looks just like a thong, with a strap around the waist and a strap that goes between the legs and between the butt cheeks.
Underwear-style. This version typically looks like a pair of underwear or boxers. You can use them for wearing a dildo all day, or during sex.

Dildos come in every size, shape, material and colour you can possibly imagine. You can get ones that look very realistic, or you can get ones that are more playful.

How to Buy a Strap-On

Here's the bad news about strap-ons: Getting a proper harness and dildo combination is an investment, both of your time and your money. It can take a while to figure out what you like, and sometimes you won't learn until after you've made a purchase and tried it out. You also really get what you pay for when it comes to harnesses and dildos, so I don't recommend skimping (especially if you think strap-on play will be a big part of your sex life). It takes some time and patience, but the payoff can make it all worth it.

If you have a nice sex shop in your area, I highly, highly recommend shopping in person. A knowledgeable sales person can walk you through the entire process. Many stores even have strap-on workshops. Being able to look at and touch your harness and dildo makes a huge difference in the buying process. If you have to shop online, read as many reviews as you can.

And some dildo tips:

If you have a consistent partner, you may want to allow them to pick the dildo, since they will be the one getting penetrated with it.
Make sure your toy is made from body-safe material, typically silicone. A lot of sex toys are made out of porous materials that can release chemical compounds called pthalates. If it doesn't explicitly say body-safe, don't get it.
If you really connect with wearing a dildo, from a roleplay or a gender perspective, you may also want to consider purchasing a soft dildo that you can wear all day. (This is often referred to as "packing".) These types of dildos are meant to resemble non-erect penises.

Getting Used to Your Gear

Wearing a harness and dildo feels weird at first. It's a whole extra appendage that you may have never had before. It takes some time to bond with your new body part.

I recommend wearing your harness and dildo alone for a while. Wear them around the house as you do non-sexual activities. Wash the dishes with your dildo on. Watch TV with your dildo on. Give yourself some time to get used to it, and get a sense of how the strap-on works with your body. The more comfortable you are with it on your own, the easier it will be to use it with a partner.

I also highly suggest masturbating with the strap-on on. It can be really hot to masturbate your dildo, or play with it while touching other parts of your body, and it definitely helps in developing a connection to it.

Using the Strap-On With a Partner

Once you've gotten comfortable with your gear, you may feel ready to start using it with your partner. Here, again, I recommend going slow. Let your partner see you in your new purchases. Wear your harness and dildo as you and your partner make out.

If you want to use your strap-on for penetration, the most important piece of advice I can give you is to use a ridiculous amount of lube. Make sure your partner knows to tell you any time they need you to stop and apply more lube. Remember: Never use like with like when it comes to lube. If your dildo is silicone-based, you won't be able to use silicone lube with it. Use water-based instead.

Aftercare

Sometimes strap-on sex can be an emotional experience, for both partners. It may feel really vulnerable to wear a strap-on for the first time. It may feel really vulnerable to have intercourse with a strap-on for the first time. If anything does come up for you, let it come up. Keep checking in with each other throughout, and talk about it afterwards.

On a more logistical level, make sure to clean your gear as soon as possible. Follow the manufacturer instructions for the best method. Keep in mind that if you're having sex with multiple partners, you'll need to use a condom with your dildo to prevent STI transmission.

And have fun. Trust me on this, you will have the best eye rolling, out off body shaking orgasms ever.

id love to hear stories from our members, and I’m here to answer your questions. Don’t be shy make 2018 the year you got Pegged. Make it a year to remember.