I must say to date these Olympics have been the most enjoyable Olympics of all for me , I'm watchig with great anticipation to find out who will be the wokest of the wokest and catapult their careers the furthest into the shitpile in a great show of self sacrifice for their cause .
Here are some of the front runners so far ,
* Will it be our woke victim darling of and newly discovered black Klan representative Lizzy the Grand Wizzy Cambridge ? Who made the bold move of peaking pre Olympics and setting the bar high ? Lizzy challenged all to chase her without even hoping on a plane . Very experienced campaigner who not only came out of the blocks with a burst of speed but one upped her game with the addition of a mental health card . Will be hard to beat paying $3 for the win .
* Secondly we have the U.S woman's soccer team . Regarded as the number 1 woman's team in the world , the team of all teams and led by the non binary, same sex , chose your gender at ages 5 , progressive household , 2020s version of David Beckham . If privilege was measured as a toxic males appendage, this team has been on a Johnny Holmes and Dirk Diggler spit roast. Hopefully the Swedes wore frangas on those strap ons as that was a nasty bukake . Paying $1.75 for the win .
* Or will it be our other home grown heroins The Matildas ? The bunch who've grown up being privileged with the use of many scholarships for sports high schools , ellite institutes of sport , a dirth of Facebook likes and praise to boost their skills and one of the strongest women's comps in the world to learn their trade in ?
A team that was fortunate enough to narrowly beat the lowly ranked New Zealanders, a team that are still training in Dunlop Volleys so they don't wear their game day boots out , a team that waters down their Gatorade to make it last longer , and drinks Aldi brand NesQuick out of a Milo tin as real Milo will blow their tampon budget . In a predictable yet effective move the Matiladas dragged out the Cathy Freeman strategy of the Indigenous flag to further their media attention . Shortened up from $7 to $2.25 for the win .