One evening, the old farmer decided to take a walk to the pond, since it had been a while since he had been there. He took a large white bucket to collect some fruit on the long walk to the remote area.
As he approached the pond, he heard voices laughing and shouting with joy. As he walked further, he saw that several young women were bathing naked in his pond.
He made his presence known, and they all moved to the deep end. One of the girls shouted at him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"
The old farmer frowned, "I didn't come here to watch you girls swim naked or get you out of the pond without your clothes on."
Holding up his bucket, he said, "I'm here to feed the crocodile."
Some old men can still think quickly.
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A man falls asleep at church.
One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem, my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"
"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."
In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.
"Jesus!", Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin.
"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.
"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.
"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones again winked off. However, this time the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.
The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?"
Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that goddamned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!"
"Amen," replied the congregation
Little Johnny had just failed his law exam, but instead of sulking, he marched straight to his professor’s office with a plan.
Johnny: “Sir, is it true you know everything about law?”
Professor: “Naturally. I’ve been teaching it for over 30 years.”
Johnny: “Perfect. Let’s make a deal. If you can answer my question, I’ll accept my failing grade. But if you can’t… you give me an ‘A.’”
The professor, amused and slightly arrogant, agreed.
Professor: “Go ahead. Ask.”
Johnny leaned forward with a grin.
Johnny: “What is legal but not logical, logical but not legal, and neither legal nor logical?”
The professor froze. He thought. He scribbled notes. He paced the room. Hours ticked by, but he couldn’t crack it. Finally, red-faced and defeated, he gave Johnny an “A.”
The next day, still fuming and desperate for answers, the professor posed the riddle to his class.
Professor: “Who can tell me—what is legal but not logical, logical but not legal, and neither legal nor logical?”
To his surprise, nearly every hand shot up.
He called on one student.
Student: “Sir, you’re 65 years old and married to a 28-year-old woman. That’s legal but not logical. Your wife is having an affair with a 23-year-old man. That’s logical but not legal. And finally… you just gave your wife’s boyfriend an ‘A’ after he failed his exam. That’s neither legal nor logical!”
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