Jokes Section - ADULTS ONLY

A man asks the aged Reverend what are the chances he’ll get to heaven when he dies, and the Reverend says that there is a good chance but first he’ll have to clean up his life, i.e. no smoking, no booze and certainly no he should control

his apparent out of control sexual urge . So the man thought he’d at least give it a try and all went well for a few days, but then….. ‘T’raaaaan’…. there was his wife bent U shape right in the freezer, and he couldn’t help tearing off her bloomers and giving her a doggy turn. He felt guilty about it afterwards and called back in and told the Reverend .The aged Reverend said, “Don’t worry my son, one now and then won’t hurt your future in heaven.” To which the man replied, “Oh thank goodness for that, that’s great news ‘cause now we’re both banned from Harvey Norman Stores "

 

You need to be a member of 1Eyed Eel to add comments!

Join 1Eyed Eel

Votes: 0
Email me when people reply –

Replies

                    • 10947705489?profile=RESIZE_584x

                    • Agreed Tad . Without a rare suitable substitute, I don't think it possible to give up any serious addiction when suffering severe depression. 

                    • Actually that bloke looks pretty fit to me Snakey....Do Snakes become blurry when you slither around all the time?

                      Tad my cigarette cost's are ameliarated by my rolling my own tobacco.....I have a litttle machine that does the rolling and it keeps my hands occupied between drinking and placing bets. Say 4 bottles of wine a week is $30 and my tobacco and ancillories probably 10/20 a week. I don't real account for it like that just the same....a bottle of Frangelica is $35 and lasts a couple of weeks.

                      PS I only gamble on Saturday's not Tuesdays.

                      The problems with expenses for some people is based on the addictive aspects, you and Driza refer to i.e. do it every day, you will kill yourself, do it in a controlled way and you can look forward and enjoy it.

                      Every and Anything is a bore if it becomes too repititious.

                      NB My fridge (alfresco) is always full of Grog and food as we entertain someone every Tuesday and on many weekends.eg Sir Col used to come on the occasional Tuesday, in the early days with Drop Bear and even Doc (Rider) came once but I dont think he approved of all the alcohol.....I have issued an open invitation to Brissy Eel but he hasn't taken it up yet. I think he will!

                      On Tuesday afternoons we have the nursing home participants (there is no actual nursing home) and then link up with Slug and Doctor Wong in the national phone hook up, Slug being in Sydney and Wongy in Woolgoolga (Coffs Area),

                       Its not a hard life, IEE give's me a nice outlet and I still have my "mancave business" which I run soley 4 days a week.

                    • 4 bottles is a bit high Pops.

                      A pipe is a much better self-image and there is always a good substitute for alcohol10948647493?profile=RESIZE_930x

                       

                    • I am not that worried about self image Tad, if people cant take me with my external image, then bad luck.

                      4 Bottles a week is not much, my doctor said it was good for me, he has a couple of whiskies every night he tells me.

                    • I reckon if you enjoy it no worries pops. The negative impact on health from alcohol tends to get a bit over exaggerated as long as you aren't drinking so much it effects the liver or you drink so much as that the calory impact becomes an issue particularly beer. The main thing to do is have days without drinking like you are doing. I drink a bit not as much as I used to mind you but l find it relaxes me. 

                    • Michael my poor Dad died at 59 from liver issues using alcohol as medication for depression in the days when depression illness was not on the medical agenda. Lots of issues now being discussed in Northern Territory about restricting alcohol usage as medication. I doubt it will work. Not sure how they will address this stuff successfully

                      I admire people like Driza and others who have managed to overcome an addiction. It is difficult for people to accept they have addictions.That is the first and most difficult part of the process.

                      As part of my job many years ago I tried to refer people to AA. Heart breaking stories. Some absolutely incredible people work in AA who understand perfectly the hardships people go through which affects relationships in many people connected with these types of addictions. 

                      Thanks for hearing me out Pops.I have crashed out a few friends in my lifetime for my interference in their affairs.

                      I often talk about people who do things for money even when they have a lot. People in AA and other similar organisations do this work as volunteers. Gods gift to those in hardships 

                    • 10948702458?profile=RESIZE_400x

                    • LOL . Look what 2 bottles of wine each week does . Too late for Poppa to get glasses - he is totally blind . 

                    • Very sorry to hear that. Yes for some it is an issue or an addiction that overwhelmes I don't deny that. The way pops describes his drinking though it seems it is something that he enjoys and manages. Like me he drinks to help enjoy himself not to combat depression or negative thoughts. If you drink to feel better or ''normal' then it's a problem. I identified I was doing that for a while in my own life so I stopped drinking completely for a while and only resumed when I knew my life was on track and I'd be drinking to elevate an already happy enough mood. 

This reply was deleted.

Latest comments

Parra fan on The Hill replied to Joel K's discussion Bulldogs and Dolphins in talks with Apa Twidle
"If we lose Apa they all involvement in R&R need not be sacked but shot in the back of the head for crimes against Parra.
Apa should start for the remainder of the season either at wing/ centre fullback. All we have in the back line left is Brian…"
49 minutes ago
JC replied to Cʜɪᴇғy Mclovin🐐 - Mark O'neill's Sack !'s discussion Strong rumoured loan deal happening
"You do know he started in the halves right?, if you are going to knock someone's suggestion maybe it's a good idea to put some thought into it first. We need a 6 for next season and have very few options."
2 hours ago
Parraboy replied to Yeah Man's discussion Just Our Luck
"Would love to beat the titans & then smack these gronks. "
2 hours ago
Mr 'BringBackFitzy' Analyst replied to Yeah Man's discussion Just Our Luck
"Doesn't Laundy owe a % of ch9 who inturn basically run NRL."
2 hours ago
JC replied to Cʜɪᴇғy Mclovin🐐 - Mark O'neill's Sack !'s discussion Strong rumoured loan deal happening
"Read below numb nuts"
2 hours ago
Yehez replied to Yeah Man's discussion Just Our Luck
"We'll be at home and it'll be a good test for us. 
Let's beat the TItans first....."
2 hours ago
JC replied to Cʜɪᴇғy Mclovin🐐 - Mark O'neill's Sack !'s discussion Strong rumoured loan deal happening
"He can play 6"
2 hours ago
Poppa replied to Cʜɪᴇғy Mclovin🐐 - Mark O'neill's Sack !'s discussion Strong rumoured loan deal happening
"Shaking head and thinking WTF.....Lol...... come on Super we are down to our last 5 fullbacks."
2 hours ago
Yehez replied to Joel K's discussion Bulldogs and Dolphins in talks with Apa Twidle
"You're not wrong of course and ideally I'd keep Twidle. But we have him, Papalii, Iongi, Bamblett and Davis who are all young. And Seuseu can play FB too.
The oldest one of those is 22 currently!
The club needs to plan it and find who plays where.…"
3 hours ago
The Badger replied to Joel K's discussion Bulldogs and Dolphins in talks with Apa Twidle
"Maybe Rogers and or his team need to be changed. 
It appears they couldn't recruit an Incel to enter a free brothel."
3 hours ago
Muttman replied to Joel K's discussion Bulldogs and Dolphins in talks with Apa Twidle
"If MON as Head of Football is not actively reviewing, assessing and ultimately steering the direction of the recrutiment program down to the individual player level then we are in even worse shape than I imagined. No one expects MON to be standing…"
3 hours ago
paul taylor replied to fake midget pseudoachondroplasia's discussion Ryles coaching
"Jason is a great addition to Parramatta results aside. He has really brought the Parramatta DNA out in every area within the club. Junior Rep players are taught about what Parramatta means to its community, how important the club is to so many…"
3 hours ago
SuperEel 22 replied to Joel K's discussion Bulldogs and Dolphins in talks with Apa Twidle
"Why would the head of football need to get a decent contract over the line? That's the recruitment manager's job. The football manager ensures the deal is salary cap compliant and is what the coach wants.
Head of Football = oversees football…"
3 hours ago
Blue Eel replied to Joel K's discussion Bulldogs and Dolphins in talks with Apa Twidle
"Nice play on words Super. Ben Rogers as head of recruitment can tell anyone he wants how good or bad someone is but unless the Football Manager can get a decent contract over the line, Ben can knock his head against a brick wall and it still won't…"
3 hours ago
Blue Eel replied to Joel K's discussion Bulldogs and Dolphins in talks with Apa Twidle
"Haha"
3 hours ago
Blue Eel replied to fake midget pseudoachondroplasia's discussion Ryles coaching
"Ryles has shown so so much more then promise. The change he has brought about just cannot be measured on or off the field. We have all seen whom Ryles wanted to be retained or signed from elsewhere as first choices. The team he wanted , we have the…"
3 hours ago
More…

Keaon done deal

As of Thursday, December 11, 2025, South Sydney Rabbitohs forwardKeaon Koloamatangi has reportedly agreed to a deal with the Parramatta Eels, but it is not yet officially announced by the clubs.  Soon to be announced.

Read more…
14 Replies · Reply by Poppa Jan 9
Views: 2288

 

<script src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js"></script>
<!-- Sidebar -->
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<script>// <![CDATA[
(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});
// ]]></script>