Jokes Section - ADULTS ONLY

A man asks the aged Reverend what are the chances he’ll get to heaven when he dies, and the Reverend says that there is a good chance but first he’ll have to clean up his life, i.e. no smoking, no booze and certainly no he should control

his apparent out of control sexual urge . So the man thought he’d at least give it a try and all went well for a few days, but then….. ‘T’raaaaan’…. there was his wife bent U shape right in the freezer, and he couldn’t help tearing off her bloomers and giving her a doggy turn. He felt guilty about it afterwards and called back in and told the Reverend .The aged Reverend said, “Don’t worry my son, one now and then won’t hurt your future in heaven.” To which the man replied, “Oh thank goodness for that, that’s great news ‘cause now we’re both banned from Harvey Norman Stores "

 

You need to be a member of 1Eyed Eel to add comments!

Join 1Eyed Eel

Votes: 0
Email me when people reply –

Replies

                    • 10947705489?profile=RESIZE_584x

                    • Agreed Tad . Without a rare suitable substitute, I don't think it possible to give up any serious addiction when suffering severe depression. 

                    • Actually that bloke looks pretty fit to me Snakey....Do Snakes become blurry when you slither around all the time?

                      Tad my cigarette cost's are ameliarated by my rolling my own tobacco.....I have a litttle machine that does the rolling and it keeps my hands occupied between drinking and placing bets. Say 4 bottles of wine a week is $30 and my tobacco and ancillories probably 10/20 a week. I don't real account for it like that just the same....a bottle of Frangelica is $35 and lasts a couple of weeks.

                      PS I only gamble on Saturday's not Tuesdays.

                      The problems with expenses for some people is based on the addictive aspects, you and Driza refer to i.e. do it every day, you will kill yourself, do it in a controlled way and you can look forward and enjoy it.

                      Every and Anything is a bore if it becomes too repititious.

                      NB My fridge (alfresco) is always full of Grog and food as we entertain someone every Tuesday and on many weekends.eg Sir Col used to come on the occasional Tuesday, in the early days with Drop Bear and even Doc (Rider) came once but I dont think he approved of all the alcohol.....I have issued an open invitation to Brissy Eel but he hasn't taken it up yet. I think he will!

                      On Tuesday afternoons we have the nursing home participants (there is no actual nursing home) and then link up with Slug and Doctor Wong in the national phone hook up, Slug being in Sydney and Wongy in Woolgoolga (Coffs Area),

                       Its not a hard life, IEE give's me a nice outlet and I still have my "mancave business" which I run soley 4 days a week.

                    • 4 bottles is a bit high Pops.

                      A pipe is a much better self-image and there is always a good substitute for alcohol10948647493?profile=RESIZE_930x

                       

                    • I am not that worried about self image Tad, if people cant take me with my external image, then bad luck.

                      4 Bottles a week is not much, my doctor said it was good for me, he has a couple of whiskies every night he tells me.

                    • I reckon if you enjoy it no worries pops. The negative impact on health from alcohol tends to get a bit over exaggerated as long as you aren't drinking so much it effects the liver or you drink so much as that the calory impact becomes an issue particularly beer. The main thing to do is have days without drinking like you are doing. I drink a bit not as much as I used to mind you but l find it relaxes me. 

                    • Michael my poor Dad died at 59 from liver issues using alcohol as medication for depression in the days when depression illness was not on the medical agenda. Lots of issues now being discussed in Northern Territory about restricting alcohol usage as medication. I doubt it will work. Not sure how they will address this stuff successfully

                      I admire people like Driza and others who have managed to overcome an addiction. It is difficult for people to accept they have addictions.That is the first and most difficult part of the process.

                      As part of my job many years ago I tried to refer people to AA. Heart breaking stories. Some absolutely incredible people work in AA who understand perfectly the hardships people go through which affects relationships in many people connected with these types of addictions. 

                      Thanks for hearing me out Pops.I have crashed out a few friends in my lifetime for my interference in their affairs.

                      I often talk about people who do things for money even when they have a lot. People in AA and other similar organisations do this work as volunteers. Gods gift to those in hardships 

                    • 10948702458?profile=RESIZE_400x

                    • LOL . Look what 2 bottles of wine each week does . Too late for Poppa to get glasses - he is totally blind . 

                    • Very sorry to hear that. Yes for some it is an issue or an addiction that overwhelmes I don't deny that. The way pops describes his drinking though it seems it is something that he enjoys and manages. Like me he drinks to help enjoy himself not to combat depression or negative thoughts. If you drink to feel better or ''normal' then it's a problem. I identified I was doing that for a while in my own life so I stopped drinking completely for a while and only resumed when I knew my life was on track and I'd be drinking to elevate an already happy enough mood. 

This reply was deleted.

Latest comments

Eli Stephens replied to SuperEel 22's discussion Parramatta, NRL to investigate images of rising Eels star
""
15 minutes ago
LB replied to SuperEel 22's discussion Parramatta, NRL to investigate images of rising Eels star
"Eli, let's be clear, there is no confirmation it was his ex that took them and the pics are old. "
29 minutes ago
Eli Stephens replied to SuperEel 22's discussion Parramatta, NRL to investigate images of rising Eels star
"I'd be singing a different tune if he took this last week and some mates just threw it online 🤣"
31 minutes ago
Eli Stephens replied to SuperEel 22's discussion Parramatta, NRL to investigate images of rising Eels star
"Considering this photo is old and released by a spiteful ex partner lol, I think Izzy all clear "
31 minutes ago
LB replied to SuperEel 22's discussion Parramatta, NRL to investigate images of rising Eels star
"Though he left his mrs mid last year and surely he ain't in a bath with the boys. I mean nothing wrong with that of course but yeah."
32 minutes ago
LB replied to SuperEel 22's discussion Parramatta, NRL to investigate images of rising Eels star
"To be fair, Matto wouldn't do this stuff. His body is a temple. "
34 minutes ago
LB replied to SuperEel 22's discussion Parramatta, NRL to investigate images of rising Eels star
"He also played the indigenous and mental health card too."
36 minutes ago
MattL replied to SuperEel 22's discussion Parramatta, NRL to investigate images of rising Eels star
"If he gets fined, just keep him away from getting any advice from Matto."
37 minutes ago
Coryn Hughes replied to SuperEel 22's discussion Parramatta, NRL to investigate images of rising Eels star
"It's great it's exactly how JR planned it the integrity unit in amongst the club five minutes out from the season investigating one of Parra's best players.It's perfect preparation for a season just normal shit normal mistakes fark your only trying…"
40 minutes ago
Eli Stephens replied to SuperEel 22's discussion Parramatta, NRL to investigate images of rising Eels star
"Latrell got 1 game for cocaine 🤣 trust me Iongi will be ok lol"
42 minutes ago
KENDOZA replied to SuperEel 22's discussion Parramatta, NRL to investigate images of rising Eels star
"So true"
44 minutes ago
LB replied to SuperEel 22's discussion Parramatta, NRL to investigate images of rising Eels star
"That is not the real world. I know in my industry if pics of me like this got out to my boss, i lose my job. I understand in what you are saying and somewhat agree it is not a big deal but it is also illegal if it is pot and not a good look for a…"
45 minutes ago
Eli Stephens replied to SuperEel 22's discussion Parramatta, NRL to investigate images of rising Eels star
"What's not normal is sharing other peoples private life photos without permission 🤣 that's what's happened "
47 minutes ago
DYNASTY.LOADING replied to SuperEel 22's discussion Parramatta, NRL to investigate images of rising Eels star
"Love all the people trying to chastise these people for living a normal life. People smoke, people have friends, people make mistakes. Get over it. This is just a football team and a normal human being doing normal shit"
48 minutes ago
LB replied to SuperEel 22's discussion Parramatta, NRL to investigate images of rising Eels star
"Rugby League players would smoke in the change rooms before and after games in the old days. Betting would have been rampant."
51 minutes ago
Coryn Hughes replied to SuperEel 22's discussion Parramatta, NRL to investigate images of rising Eels star
"One of those things in the age of phones when about to do something that may look untoward think once think again and walk away.This generation don't think like this even though they've been bought up around it.They don't make the mistake and it…"
57 minutes ago
More…

Keaon done deal

As of Thursday, December 11, 2025, South Sydney Rabbitohs forwardKeaon Koloamatangi has reportedly agreed to a deal with the Parramatta Eels, but it is not yet officially announced by the clubs.  Soon to be announced.

Read more…
14 Replies · Reply by Poppa Jan 9
Views: 2111

 

Who replaces addocizzy?

1.Jordan samrani2.Moey alammadine 👀 3.Jake tago 4.Russell 5.Joash papa6.Brian kelly I don't bout samrani on wing.Suits more of that bench utility coming in at back row.So prob not samrani.Moeys been killing it in lower grades and killed it in…

Read more…
0 Replies
Views: 51

<script src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js"></script>
<!-- Sidebar -->
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<script>// <![CDATA[
(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});
// ]]></script>