Joke of the week

Man and he wife sitting watching tv then Lady go oh my God i pain in the belly she goes again oh my God i got a pain in the belly 

Husband say to the dr there is a new dr just two house down from here go to see him and tell them you in pain

So she does then about half hour later she come back slammed the door and throws her self down

And her husband say did you get bad news

She said NO i didnt the dr told me to take off all my clothes off lay down on the table with my legs open 

He was looking between my legs and said gee that looks nice i like to full that up with ice-cream and lick it all up so i jumped up and got dressed come home

The husband said.. DID HE SAY THAT THE DIRTY CUNT WILL IM GOING TO SEE HIM ABOUT THAT

as he walk to the door he stop and thinking for a sec and then he walk back and sat down next to hes wife she looked at at him and said

I throught you were going to see the dr

The husband said ye i was but any man can eat that much ice-cream is to big for me

You need to be a member of 1Eyed Eel to add comments!

Join 1Eyed Eel

Votes: 0
Email me when people reply –

Replies

  • This reply was deleted.
    • I love that joke. I have been saying for 20 years it never got popular but always gets a laugh.

  • Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife. "You come to the front door of the apartment. I am in apartment 301. There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 301. I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow, push 3. When you get out, I'm on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell."

    "Grandma, that sounds easy but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?

    “What... You're coming empty handed

    • The worst joke I've ever heard 

      • You needed to understand Arnie Colin, Arnie was slightly challenged but had a wonderful self depracating sense of humour, a bit like Wiz asking his wife for an extra 50 under the curtain in the massage parlour......true story!

        • O K poppa but still the worst joke .one of the best I thought was the bloke not wanting to go in the army and got under what he thought was the nuns dress .

          • Yes, forgot about that one!.....Arnie probably does not have classic's as much as being so bad that you cannot help but laugh! Lol

      • maybe something to your taste Colin

        10892673675?profile=RESIZE_584x

        • 10892673495?profile=RESIZE_710x

  • https://youtube.com/shorts/w7Q5x6W0VVg?feature=share

    There's a million of these ...

     

     

  • This is one of my all time favourites 

     

     Danny cannot make his wife orgasm, so he goes to the doctor for some advice...

    He goes to the doctor and says, "Look, I just can't bring my wife to orgasm in bed, it's a real problem."

    The doctor says, "Well, is it too warm?"

    "Yes, it's absolutely sweltering"

    "Then get an air conditioner"

    "I can't afford air conditioner doc, I'm too poor"

    "Well, Danny, do you have a good friend, I mean a real close friend?"

    "Yeah, I've got a close friend, Frank"

    "Well, ask your friend Frank to stand over you and your wife with a towel, wafting you both to cool you down, that might help."

    So, Danny asks Frank for this favor, who then agrees to help him. That night, Danny is in bed with his wife, pounding away with Frank fanning them with the towel but it's doing nothing for her.

    Danny says, "Well this isn't working, let's swap." So Danny takes the towel and starts wafting Frank, who is now making love to Danny's wife. Not long after, Danny's wife goes "Oooh... oh that's it, I'm about to cum, I'm going to cum!" And has the biggest squirt you've ever seen. 

    Frank and Danny's wife both look awkwardly at Danny , then a after a uncomfortable silence ,

    Danny shouts, triumphantly, "You see, Frank?! That's how you waft a fucking towel!"

This reply was deleted.

Latest comments

Cʜɪᴇғy Mclovin 🐐 replied to Mr 'BringBackFitzy' Analyst's discussion Matterson - The gift that keeps on giving
"Super if he was very concerned about his concussion situation why has it been reported that he would have agreed to joining Melbourne if there was a guaranteed extra year as opposed to a club option. 
Braith reported last night that Matterson would…"
14 minutes ago
Kenny Power replied to LB's discussion Barnett swap for Lomax
"Looks like Barnett to broncos
and this is why our club is sticking to its guns for player trade which others in media are softening their stance 
 
no many elite players and when they are they go to clubs like broncos roosters or storm or have to do…"
15 minutes ago
Poppa replied to Mr 'BringBackFitzy' Analyst's discussion Matterson - The gift that keeps on giving
"I see no problem with his statement, shame a few others don't follow, rather than their management spitting out politically correct spoofs.
Sorry Cappy, cannot agree with your below mentioned statement.
The fact he got "likes" from media and other…"
17 minutes ago
Acme replied to Hell On Eels's discussion 1EE Launches Inaugural Podcast
"Any chance you can upload it to YouTube as well?"
18 minutes ago
Phil Mann replied to Prof. Daz's discussion Game Day Blog R1 vs Storm: Gilgamesh and the Beer Goddess
"Looking for any good sledges, rants, ditty's for my verbal arsenal tonight.  
Daz and I will march into the storm (pun intended) tonight and not hold back!!
Maybe we'll need a "go fund me" afterwards for dental work as well (win, lose or draw)"
28 minutes ago
Hell On Eels replied to Mr 'BringBackFitzy' Analyst's discussion Matterson - The gift that keeps on giving
"Super, well said. He shouldn't be blamed and his concussion and potentially CTE issues need proper consideration. Yet, as Captain noted he probably needed to seek wiser counsel in relation to his "Offical (sic) Statement". It wasn't his best work,…"
40 minutes ago
Hell On Eels replied to Hell On Eels's discussion 1EE Launches Inaugural Podcast
"We have some interesting interviews coming up.
We intially aimed to have these previews go on for around 30 minutes, but it went on longer than planned.
Let us know your thoughts."
52 minutes ago
Coryn Hughes replied to LB's discussion Barnett swap for Lomax
"The problem with getting Barnett is the Warriors are going to want one possibly 2 players in return to release him early.So to land him as above the Warriors are going to want the same sought or type of talent that they are losing.There not just…"
52 minutes ago
The Badger replied to Mr 'BringBackFitzy' Analyst's discussion Matterson - The gift that keeps on giving
"I think you're spot on.
Melb threw it up as a last roll of the dice. We went to Matto (mgmt) with their offer. He said 2yrs guaranteed or no dice. Melb then said - no deal."
58 minutes ago
SuperEel 22 replied to Mr 'BringBackFitzy' Analyst's discussion Matterson - The gift that keeps on giving
"I find the Matto situation a fair outcome. He doesn't need to go to Melbourne. It's his decision. And both the Eels and Storm can ask him to be involved in that swap. No harm, no foul here. Especially given his current concussion struggles. I'd…"
59 minutes ago
Axel replied to Eli Stephens's discussion Braith loves us.
"I agree. That's his role on the show - to be the contrarian!But I felt his performance last night had a bit more personal stuff going on. He got a bit agitated and so did Braith. I reckon something was said at the pre show rehersal.  "
1 hour ago
Prof. Daz replied to Mr 'BringBackFitzy' Analyst's discussion Matterson - The gift that keeps on giving
"Chiefy, the tricky part here is that media speculation that Matterson was one of the cards on the table is not the same as Matterson formally being a card on the table. Hence the other way to interpret the post is that Matterson has went on record…"
1 hour ago
Prof. Daz replied to Mr 'BringBackFitzy' Analyst's discussion Matterson - The gift that keeps on giving
"Thx for posting Matto's post, Eli. That post says it all. Matto was not involved until given a fait accompli, but of course Storm-friendly media need to paint his as "stubborn". This is called "cooling out the mark", which is where the loser (Storm)…"
1 hour ago
Prof. Daz replied to Mr 'BringBackFitzy' Analyst's discussion Matterson - The gift that keeps on giving
"But, Blue Eel, according to TCT, it's been the toughest preseason ever and Matterson has trained the house down. 
Kidding, fake news, but anyway has Matto been at training?"
1 hour ago
Acme replied to LB's discussion Barnett swap for Lomax
"Braith had to stop himself from saying too much on NRL360. He was talking about how there were 6 other clubs interested back in December. For some reason, they all walked away, except the storm, who tried to sneakily sign Zac in the background, then…"
2 hours ago
Acme replied to Prof. Daz's discussion Game Day Blog R1 vs Storm: Gilgamesh and the Beer Goddess
"LOL"
2 hours ago
More…

Keaon done deal

As of Thursday, December 11, 2025, South Sydney Rabbitohs forwardKeaon Koloamatangi has reportedly agreed to a deal with the Parramatta Eels, but it is not yet officially announced by the clubs.  Soon to be announced.

Read more…
14 Replies · Reply by Poppa Jan 9
Views: 2152

 

1EE Launches Inaugural Podcast

Hi Folks,  Super has launched 1EE's first ever podcast (spotify link).   Well done Super and LB. They did a great job at short notice. I only did a small cameo of a few minutes due to time restraints. There will be interviews with figures in the…

Read more…
2 Replies · Reply by Acme 18 minutes ago
Views: 65

1EE Modern day Eels team: Halfback

Ok so going through these rapid fire, particularly this one as this i reckon would be 100% for one player. I did some Halfbacks to make it respectful but not many to choose from.Dylan Brown won the vote at 6.https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/HGCBD291.…

Read more…
10 Replies · Reply by Rabz S 16 hours ago
Views: 292

<script src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js"></script>
<!-- Sidebar -->
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<script>// <![CDATA[
(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});
// ]]></script>