Joke of the week

Man and he wife sitting watching tv then Lady go oh my God i pain in the belly she goes again oh my God i got a pain in the belly 

Husband say to the dr there is a new dr just two house down from here go to see him and tell them you in pain

So she does then about half hour later she come back slammed the door and throws her self down

And her husband say did you get bad news

She said NO i didnt the dr told me to take off all my clothes off lay down on the table with my legs open 

He was looking between my legs and said gee that looks nice i like to full that up with ice-cream and lick it all up so i jumped up and got dressed come home

The husband said.. DID HE SAY THAT THE DIRTY CUNT WILL IM GOING TO SEE HIM ABOUT THAT

as he walk to the door he stop and thinking for a sec and then he walk back and sat down next to hes wife she looked at at him and said

I throught you were going to see the dr

The husband said ye i was but any man can eat that much ice-cream is to big for me

You need to be a member of 1Eyed Eel to add comments!

Join 1Eyed Eel

Votes: 0
Email me when people reply –

Replies

  • This reply was deleted.
    • I love that joke. I have been saying for 20 years it never got popular but always gets a laugh.

  • Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife. "You come to the front door of the apartment. I am in apartment 301. There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 301. I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow, push 3. When you get out, I'm on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell."

    "Grandma, that sounds easy but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?

    “What... You're coming empty handed

    • The worst joke I've ever heard 

      • You needed to understand Arnie Colin, Arnie was slightly challenged but had a wonderful self depracating sense of humour, a bit like Wiz asking his wife for an extra 50 under the curtain in the massage parlour......true story!

        • O K poppa but still the worst joke .one of the best I thought was the bloke not wanting to go in the army and got under what he thought was the nuns dress .

          • Yes, forgot about that one!.....Arnie probably does not have classic's as much as being so bad that you cannot help but laugh! Lol

      • maybe something to your taste Colin

        10892673675?profile=RESIZE_584x

        • 10892673495?profile=RESIZE_710x

  • https://youtube.com/shorts/w7Q5x6W0VVg?feature=share

    There's a million of these ...

     

     

  • This is one of my all time favourites 

     

     Danny cannot make his wife orgasm, so he goes to the doctor for some advice...

    He goes to the doctor and says, "Look, I just can't bring my wife to orgasm in bed, it's a real problem."

    The doctor says, "Well, is it too warm?"

    "Yes, it's absolutely sweltering"

    "Then get an air conditioner"

    "I can't afford air conditioner doc, I'm too poor"

    "Well, Danny, do you have a good friend, I mean a real close friend?"

    "Yeah, I've got a close friend, Frank"

    "Well, ask your friend Frank to stand over you and your wife with a towel, wafting you both to cool you down, that might help."

    So, Danny asks Frank for this favor, who then agrees to help him. That night, Danny is in bed with his wife, pounding away with Frank fanning them with the towel but it's doing nothing for her.

    Danny says, "Well this isn't working, let's swap." So Danny takes the towel and starts wafting Frank, who is now making love to Danny's wife. Not long after, Danny's wife goes "Oooh... oh that's it, I'm about to cum, I'm going to cum!" And has the biggest squirt you've ever seen. 

    Frank and Danny's wife both look awkwardly at Danny , then a after a uncomfortable silence ,

    Danny shouts, triumphantly, "You see, Frank?! That's how you waft a fucking towel!"

This reply was deleted.

Latest comments

Smiffy replied to Johnny Suede's discussion The Tele has ranked the Eels forward pack 9th for season '26 (Roosters at #1)
"This will be unpopular, but Matterson could be that forward if he buys intpo Ryles gameplan and applies himself."
3 seconds ago
Muttman replied to Hell On Eels's discussion David and Goliath: Lomax and the Shadow Wars
"Great blog HOE.However, I understand why the Eels chose to initiate legal action first. Once Lomax formally advised in writing that he did not intend to comply with the terms of his release, the club had little choice but to act. It was far better…"
23 minutes ago
Clintorian replied to Hell On Eels's discussion David and Goliath: Lomax and the Shadow Wars
"Great article HOE, one of your best.
I agree, win or lose this feels like a bigger turning point that the Eels are no longer comfortable being pushovers and a line in the sand hasfinally been drawn. Personally, I'm glad we're going head-to-head with…"
26 minutes ago
Seth hardy replied to Hell On Eels's discussion David and Goliath: Lomax and the Shadow Wars
"A good accurate blog on the situation. Almost a dissertation. Sadly, the corruption that exists in all forms of power today leads me to believe we will still get shafted. It's not about Parra, it's about control."
35 minutes ago
Bourbon Man replied to Hell On Eels's discussion David and Goliath: Lomax and the Shadow Wars
"This is a great read HOE. It certainly has been a bug bear of mine for some time that the Club never stands up to the NRL - the most obvious example being the Israel Folau drama you mentioned.
When Uncle Nick makes a demand, he gets his way - and…"
41 minutes ago
Eelovution replied to EelsAgeMe's discussion The Lomax Case: What Are We Missing?
"In a courtroom, the principle of "Good Faith" is strictly adhered to. Especially when one side is seen to do the right thing. "
51 minutes ago
Clintorian replied to Johnny Suede's discussion The Tele has ranked the Eels forward pack 9th for season '26 (Roosters at #1)
"I fee like we need one maniac in the pack... it could be Moretti, but we do need someone with some real aggression that can lay a platform for the other athletic forwards."
1 hour ago
Alfred Mateo replied to Johnny Suede's discussion The Tele has ranked the Eels forward pack 9th for season '26 (Roosters at #1)
"Can't argue with that. Hopgood might be in the mix for origin selection but no real mongrels/tough hombres in our current pack.
Interesting to see how Newcastle goes this year. On paper, their backline is probably ranked in the top 5 but some doubt…"
1 hour ago
EelsAgeMe replied to EelsAgeMe's discussion The Lomax Case: What Are We Missing?
"Doing things in 'good faith' doesn't stand up in this cut throat business. It's like the good old handshake deal when your word and a handshake meant something. You respected each other.  Unfortunately, respect and honour means shit in the court of…"
1 hour ago
Coryn Hughes replied to Johnny Suede's discussion The Tele has ranked the Eels forward pack 9th for season '26 (Roosters at #1)
"There's plenty to like about the eels I think we'll be relying on a system more so than physicality and athleticism.
I see our inexperience in the pack as a strength they play with no fear and sure mistakes come with it.TDS Tuivaiti Kautoga and…"
1 hour ago
Clintorian replied to Johnny Suede's discussion The Tele has ranked the Eels forward pack 9th for season '26 (Roosters at #1)
"I think that's a fair rating,.Canberra had the best pack in the game last year and we're only one position behind them which doesn't make much sense 🤔

Roosters always get glazed this time of the year but have lately fallen short. But they do have a…"
2 hours ago
Poupou Escobar replied to Johnny Suede's discussion The Tele has ranked the Eels forward pack 9th for season '26 (Roosters at #1)
"Agreed Chiefy. Our depth is our strength, at least in the pack."
2 hours ago
Longfin Eel replied to Johnny Suede's discussion The Tele has ranked the Eels forward pack 9th for season '26 (Roosters at #1)
"I don't think Ryles will lose any sleep on this. He knows exactly how we stack up to opposition forward packs. The good thing is that we have a few young forwards who could really take a step up this year, so anything is possible."
2 hours ago
Joel K replied to Johnny Suede's discussion The Tele has ranked the Eels forward pack 9th for season '26 (Roosters at #1)
"Pretty fair ranking regarding the Eels, although we have more depth then other clubs which isn't included in the rating
Putting Roosters at first is laughable, Broncos have the best pack in the comp "
3 hours ago
Cʜɪᴇғy Mclovin 🐐 replied to Johnny Suede's discussion The Tele has ranked the Eels forward pack 9th for season '26 (Roosters at #1)
"We have more depth than most other clubs. The fact that they didn't even mention Moretti,  Guymer or Doorey shows our advantage "
3 hours ago
Perpetual Motion replied to EelsAgeMe's discussion The Lomax Case: What Are We Missing?
"I think its the case. Parra had to take it court as Lomax notified them he intended to ignore the conditions of his contract and sign with Melbourne."
4 hours ago
More…

Keaon done deal

As of Thursday, December 11, 2025, South Sydney Rabbitohs forwardKeaon Koloamatangi has reportedly agreed to a deal with the Parramatta Eels, but it is not yet officially announced by the clubs.  Soon to be announced.

Read more…
14 Replies · Reply by Poppa Jan 9
Views: 1973

ANY MORE SIGNINGS???

I've been frustrated recently about the work we have been doing in the open market. Jonah's alright for a year and JDB is solid but he's getting old. I feel we need more in the forwards and some a replacement outside back. All I have seen is links…

Read more…
0 Replies
Views: 270

 

Is Toby Rudolph worth chasing?

I was reading a Fox news article today about Toby Rudolph without a Manager and having to call other coaches himself to understand what he's worth to them before he can negotiate with the Sharks. Rudolph is definitely a player we should at least…

Read more…
0 Replies
Views: 8

<script src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js"></script>
<!-- Sidebar -->
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<script>// <![CDATA[
(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});
// ]]></script>