Joke of the week

Man and he wife sitting watching tv then Lady go oh my God i pain in the belly she goes again oh my God i got a pain in the belly 

Husband say to the dr there is a new dr just two house down from here go to see him and tell them you in pain

So she does then about half hour later she come back slammed the door and throws her self down

And her husband say did you get bad news

She said NO i didnt the dr told me to take off all my clothes off lay down on the table with my legs open 

He was looking between my legs and said gee that looks nice i like to full that up with ice-cream and lick it all up so i jumped up and got dressed come home

The husband said.. DID HE SAY THAT THE DIRTY CUNT WILL IM GOING TO SEE HIM ABOUT THAT

as he walk to the door he stop and thinking for a sec and then he walk back and sat down next to hes wife she looked at at him and said

I throught you were going to see the dr

The husband said ye i was but any man can eat that much ice-cream is to big for me

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  • This reply was deleted.
    • I love that joke. I have been saying for 20 years it never got popular but always gets a laugh.

  • Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife. "You come to the front door of the apartment. I am in apartment 301. There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 301. I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow, push 3. When you get out, I'm on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell."

    "Grandma, that sounds easy but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?

    “What... You're coming empty handed

    • The worst joke I've ever heard 

      • You needed to understand Arnie Colin, Arnie was slightly challenged but had a wonderful self depracating sense of humour, a bit like Wiz asking his wife for an extra 50 under the curtain in the massage parlour......true story!

        • O K poppa but still the worst joke .one of the best I thought was the bloke not wanting to go in the army and got under what he thought was the nuns dress .

          • Yes, forgot about that one!.....Arnie probably does not have classic's as much as being so bad that you cannot help but laugh! Lol

      • maybe something to your taste Colin

        10892673675?profile=RESIZE_584x

        • 10892673495?profile=RESIZE_710x

  • https://youtube.com/shorts/w7Q5x6W0VVg?feature=share

    There's a million of these ...

     

     

  • This is one of my all time favourites 

     

     Danny cannot make his wife orgasm, so he goes to the doctor for some advice...

    He goes to the doctor and says, "Look, I just can't bring my wife to orgasm in bed, it's a real problem."

    The doctor says, "Well, is it too warm?"

    "Yes, it's absolutely sweltering"

    "Then get an air conditioner"

    "I can't afford air conditioner doc, I'm too poor"

    "Well, Danny, do you have a good friend, I mean a real close friend?"

    "Yeah, I've got a close friend, Frank"

    "Well, ask your friend Frank to stand over you and your wife with a towel, wafting you both to cool you down, that might help."

    So, Danny asks Frank for this favor, who then agrees to help him. That night, Danny is in bed with his wife, pounding away with Frank fanning them with the towel but it's doing nothing for her.

    Danny says, "Well this isn't working, let's swap." So Danny takes the towel and starts wafting Frank, who is now making love to Danny's wife. Not long after, Danny's wife goes "Oooh... oh that's it, I'm about to cum, I'm going to cum!" And has the biggest squirt you've ever seen. 

    Frank and Danny's wife both look awkwardly at Danny , then a after a uncomfortable silence ,

    Danny shouts, triumphantly, "You see, Frank?! That's how you waft a fucking towel!"

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Latest comments

Clintorian replied to Johnny Suede's discussion Lomax legal promise could create salary-cap headache for Storm
"The Storm must have realised how screwed that are from a legal perspective and needed Abdo to apply the blowtorch to help them from copping this on the cap, not just getting the deal done.
Every day is another hit for them. I hope they keep coming."
2 seconds ago
LB replied to Johnny Suede's discussion Lomax legal promise could create salary-cap headache for Storm
"Well V'Landys said they would not break rules with the cap to advantage Storm or Eels. This won't be an advantage for Storm of course so does that go in line?"
4 minutes ago
Hell On Eels replied to Johnny Suede's discussion Lomax legal promise could create salary-cap headache for Storm
"Clintorian, I'd be flabbergasted if this isn't casually swept under the rug.
Regardless of outcomes, it makes me smile we are playing a different game —pulling the rug away with the power of the subpoena.
Legal muscle and daylight. If you can't beat…"
51 minutes ago
DYNASTY.LOADING replied to Johnny Suede's discussion Lomax legal promise could create salary-cap headache for Storm
"Im thinking some of the savvy, experienced and high performing operators around the game will see this as an opportunity to pull a double whammy on their rival. Think about the possibility presenting itself to Penrith, Roosters, Sharks, Bulldogs and…"
1 hour ago
Longfin Eel replied to Johnny Suede's discussion Lomax legal promise could create salary-cap headache for Storm
"This is pretty funny really. The fact that Melbourne just assumed this would be OK suggests they have done similar things before and not been pinged for it by the salary cap auditors. No doubt the NRL sweeps under the carpet issues that are found…"
1 hour ago
Clintorian replied to Johnny Suede's discussion Lomax legal promise could create salary-cap headache for Storm
"Wow... HOE, this is what I was looking for as I wasn't sure how Storm could be forced to pay for his legal bills.
THIS IS HUGE!
 "
1 hour ago
Clintorian replied to Johnny Suede's discussion Lomax legal promise could create salary-cap headache for Storm
"Beach should text Abdo to apply the blowtorch to the salary cap auditors..."
1 hour ago
Anguillidae replied to LB's discussion V'Landys on Hello Sport
"It's become clear to most rugby league proponents, that Peter V'Landys isn't the brightest crayon in the box. His handling of the Lomax affair has been incredibly poor, even clumsy and biased. I'm convinced that from this point forward he will say…"
1 hour ago
adnan replied to Johnny Suede's discussion Lomax legal promise could create salary-cap headache for Storm
"they need to be careful they dont create a precedence"
1 hour ago
Mitchy replied to Johnny Suede's discussion Lomax legal promise could create salary-cap headache for Storm
"The Storm will not enforce this. That is my gut feeling here; they should but we know they no nuts."
1 hour ago
Mitchy replied to ParramattaLurker's discussion Trial #2 / Pre Season Challenge Week 3 Team List v Sydney Roosters
"Daz, I think we are going to be in a stronger spot in 12 months - with some of these players having almost 2 seasons under their belts. Issue is always going to be around Moses and injury and Pez (Dispenser) helps here. 
We are not buying players…"
1 hour ago
Mitchy replied to ParramattaLurker's discussion Trial #2 / Pre Season Challenge Week 3 Team List v Sydney Roosters
"Bear  I read that too and had a laugh; Parra make clicks it seems. How abt Easts / Manly / C'bury / Melb and Souffs? Ryles is going along in a smart way for me. Journos can talk tripe."
1 hour ago
HKF replied to Johnny Suede's discussion Lomax legal promise could create salary-cap headache for Storm
"you can guarantee the NRL will NOT include this in the storms salary cap."
1 hour ago
RB replied to Johnny Suede's discussion Lomax legal promise could create salary-cap headache for Storm
"Ahaha this is just too good. I'd love to know if this hadn't have gone to court, if this would've been off the books. Salary cap cheaters doing what they do best."
1 hour ago
Adam Magrath replied to Johnny Suede's discussion Lomax legal promise could create salary-cap headache for Storm
"Sure are, that's exactly what I was thinking with the mental health claims. They (Lomax) are digging themselves a bigger and bigger hole the further this progresses. "
2 hours ago
Muttman replied to Johnny Suede's discussion Lomax legal promise could create salary-cap headache for Storm
"Eels are playing this beautifully "
2 hours ago
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14 Replies · Reply by Poppa Jan 9
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