Joke of the week

Man and he wife sitting watching tv then Lady go oh my God i pain in the belly she goes again oh my God i got a pain in the belly 

Husband say to the dr there is a new dr just two house down from here go to see him and tell them you in pain

So she does then about half hour later she come back slammed the door and throws her self down

And her husband say did you get bad news

She said NO i didnt the dr told me to take off all my clothes off lay down on the table with my legs open 

He was looking between my legs and said gee that looks nice i like to full that up with ice-cream and lick it all up so i jumped up and got dressed come home

The husband said.. DID HE SAY THAT THE DIRTY CUNT WILL IM GOING TO SEE HIM ABOUT THAT

as he walk to the door he stop and thinking for a sec and then he walk back and sat down next to hes wife she looked at at him and said

I throught you were going to see the dr

The husband said ye i was but any man can eat that much ice-cream is to big for me

You need to be a member of 1Eyed Eel to add comments!

Join 1Eyed Eel

Votes: 0
Email me when people reply –

Replies

  • This reply was deleted.
    • I love that joke. I have been saying for 20 years it never got popular but always gets a laugh.

  • Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife. "You come to the front door of the apartment. I am in apartment 301. There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 301. I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow, push 3. When you get out, I'm on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell."

    "Grandma, that sounds easy but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?

    “What... You're coming empty handed

    • The worst joke I've ever heard 

      • You needed to understand Arnie Colin, Arnie was slightly challenged but had a wonderful self depracating sense of humour, a bit like Wiz asking his wife for an extra 50 under the curtain in the massage parlour......true story!

        • O K poppa but still the worst joke .one of the best I thought was the bloke not wanting to go in the army and got under what he thought was the nuns dress .

          • Yes, forgot about that one!.....Arnie probably does not have classic's as much as being so bad that you cannot help but laugh! Lol

      • maybe something to your taste Colin

        10892673675?profile=RESIZE_584x

        • 10892673495?profile=RESIZE_710x

  • https://youtube.com/shorts/w7Q5x6W0VVg?feature=share

    There's a million of these ...

     

     

  • This is one of my all time favourites 

     

     Danny cannot make his wife orgasm, so he goes to the doctor for some advice...

    He goes to the doctor and says, "Look, I just can't bring my wife to orgasm in bed, it's a real problem."

    The doctor says, "Well, is it too warm?"

    "Yes, it's absolutely sweltering"

    "Then get an air conditioner"

    "I can't afford air conditioner doc, I'm too poor"

    "Well, Danny, do you have a good friend, I mean a real close friend?"

    "Yeah, I've got a close friend, Frank"

    "Well, ask your friend Frank to stand over you and your wife with a towel, wafting you both to cool you down, that might help."

    So, Danny asks Frank for this favor, who then agrees to help him. That night, Danny is in bed with his wife, pounding away with Frank fanning them with the towel but it's doing nothing for her.

    Danny says, "Well this isn't working, let's swap." So Danny takes the towel and starts wafting Frank, who is now making love to Danny's wife. Not long after, Danny's wife goes "Oooh... oh that's it, I'm about to cum, I'm going to cum!" And has the biggest squirt you've ever seen. 

    Frank and Danny's wife both look awkwardly at Danny , then a after a uncomfortable silence ,

    Danny shouts, triumphantly, "You see, Frank?! That's how you waft a fucking towel!"

This reply was deleted.

Latest comments

Blue Eel replied to LB's discussion V'Landys on Hello Sport
"$300K could help pay for an elite junior to be developed by the Eels over a number of years to be NRL ready and then immediatley poached to another club. mmmmmmmm"
51 minutes ago
Axel replied to Hell On Eels's discussion The Eels v Lomax: Timeline and Key Questions
"Yeah, but one of the women is paying for his divorce LOL"
1 hour ago
Eli Stephens replied to LB's discussion V'Landys on Hello Sport
"Zach will eventually get back into the nrl, no one hates him it's just a bigger issue in the game. These contracts are useless and storm trying to benefit from it. Eels need to get proper value in return."
1 hour ago
macybrown replied to Hell On Eels's discussion The Eels v Lomax: Timeline and Key Questions
"Yes Nitram, Nrl do think all fans are stupid suckers...think they showed this couldn't care less attitude to fans,back when they changed NRL GF time slot.
and obviously in their blatantly shown attitude towards this issue re support what is clearly…"
1 hour ago
The Badger replied to Hell On Eels's discussion The Eels v Lomax: Timeline and Key Questions
"The answer to your last question is, yes they do & they don't give a toss about the intelligence or viewpoint of fans. 
Thus this pathetic open for all Origin change.  If it ain't broke don't fix it!"
1 hour ago
LB replied to Hell On Eels's discussion The Eels v Lomax: Timeline and Key Questions
"Great point Nitram. Like i used this anology with my mates, like saying a bloke got caught having an affair on his wife with two women. His wife took the kids and left him. Then have his mates come out and say "He's a great bloke and did all these…"
1 hour ago
macybrown replied to Hell On Eels's discussion The Eels v Lomax: Timeline and Key Questions
"Im not surprised that mental health issues were raised in relation to Lomax, but Im very much astounded that it was raised not by zacs manager or by some alias on line reporter, but V’landys (whom supposedly should be a neutral party in this).…"
1 hour ago
Nitram replied to Hell On Eels's discussion The Eels v Lomax: Timeline and Key Questions
"Exactly my point. Just because you are sad doesnt mean you should not suffer the consequences. Our society functions because of repercussions regardless of how they make us feel. If not then the world quickly becomes a lawless free for all.
This…"
1 hour ago
LB replied to LB's discussion V'Landys on Hello Sport
"Yeah nobody is actually saying Lomax is a terrible person. He is making bad choices and the choice to try and pressure Parra to release him is not a great move. Great people can do some bad things, that is human nature.
What irked me the most from…"
2 hours ago
Randy Handlinger replied to LB's discussion V'Landys on Hello Sport
"That the Eels are being jelly-haters"
2 hours ago
Randy Handlinger replied to LB's discussion V'Landys on Hello Sport
"This Ugly Pete tale of "hospital Lomax" just shows how far down in the weeds he is.
He is saying it is okay for him to be biased as long as he knows or likes you. Isn't this the problem?
With this drivel he is simply highlighting why "he gots to…"
2 hours ago
Randy Handlinger replied to Hell On Eels's discussion The Eels v Lomax: Timeline and Key Questions
"I crashed my car a few years back. It was my fault, and that made me sad."
2 hours ago
Anguillidae replied to LB's discussion V'Landys on Hello Sport
"PVL playing the mental health card to suit his narrative. What's next from this complete charlatan?"
2 hours ago
Randy Handlinger replied to SuperEel 22's discussion CONFIRMED: Storm asked NRL to bully Eels into Lomax deal
"Yeah Adam, and not from some NRL psychologist. Independent clinical assessment pls"
2 hours ago
Axel replied to LB's discussion V'Landys on Hello Sport
"There are many players at every club who give up a lot of their time to call on hospitals and visit sick fans. These stories are not always brought to the public. Good on Zac to give up some of his time for that sick kid, but he's one of many…"
2 hours ago
MattL replied to SuperEel 22's discussion CONFIRMED: Storm asked NRL to bully Eels into Lomax deal
"Yep, they like to blame the reaction rather than own their action that kicked it all off."
2 hours ago
More…

Keaon done deal

As of Thursday, December 11, 2025, South Sydney Rabbitohs forwardKeaon Koloamatangi has reportedly agreed to a deal with the Parramatta Eels, but it is not yet officially announced by the clubs.  Soon to be announced.

Read more…
14 Replies · Reply by Poppa Jan 9
Views: 2075

 

V'Landys on Hello Sport

Happy Monday, if anyone wants a good laugh to start their week, skip to 32:50 mark and listen to this f***wit talk. It is laughable seriously. Claiming the offer of $300k was a great deal and we can put that into our junior system. But said we can…

Read more…
7 Replies · Reply by Blue Eel 51 minutes ago
Views: 577

<script src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js"></script>
<!-- Sidebar -->
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<script>// <![CDATA[
(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});
// ]]></script>