Joke of the week

Man and he wife sitting watching tv then Lady go oh my God i pain in the belly she goes again oh my God i got a pain in the belly 

Husband say to the dr there is a new dr just two house down from here go to see him and tell them you in pain

So she does then about half hour later she come back slammed the door and throws her self down

And her husband say did you get bad news

She said NO i didnt the dr told me to take off all my clothes off lay down on the table with my legs open 

He was looking between my legs and said gee that looks nice i like to full that up with ice-cream and lick it all up so i jumped up and got dressed come home

The husband said.. DID HE SAY THAT THE DIRTY CUNT WILL IM GOING TO SEE HIM ABOUT THAT

as he walk to the door he stop and thinking for a sec and then he walk back and sat down next to hes wife she looked at at him and said

I throught you were going to see the dr

The husband said ye i was but any man can eat that much ice-cream is to big for me

You need to be a member of 1Eyed Eel to add comments!

Join 1Eyed Eel

Votes: 0
Email me when people reply –

Replies

  • This reply was deleted.
    • I love that joke. I have been saying for 20 years it never got popular but always gets a laugh.

  • Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife. "You come to the front door of the apartment. I am in apartment 301. There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 301. I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow, push 3. When you get out, I'm on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell."

    "Grandma, that sounds easy but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?

    “What... You're coming empty handed

    • The worst joke I've ever heard 

      • You needed to understand Arnie Colin, Arnie was slightly challenged but had a wonderful self depracating sense of humour, a bit like Wiz asking his wife for an extra 50 under the curtain in the massage parlour......true story!

        • O K poppa but still the worst joke .one of the best I thought was the bloke not wanting to go in the army and got under what he thought was the nuns dress .

          • Yes, forgot about that one!.....Arnie probably does not have classic's as much as being so bad that you cannot help but laugh! Lol

      • maybe something to your taste Colin

        10892673675?profile=RESIZE_584x

        • 10892673495?profile=RESIZE_710x

  • https://youtube.com/shorts/w7Q5x6W0VVg?feature=share

    There's a million of these ...

     

     

  • This is one of my all time favourites 

     

     Danny cannot make his wife orgasm, so he goes to the doctor for some advice...

    He goes to the doctor and says, "Look, I just can't bring my wife to orgasm in bed, it's a real problem."

    The doctor says, "Well, is it too warm?"

    "Yes, it's absolutely sweltering"

    "Then get an air conditioner"

    "I can't afford air conditioner doc, I'm too poor"

    "Well, Danny, do you have a good friend, I mean a real close friend?"

    "Yeah, I've got a close friend, Frank"

    "Well, ask your friend Frank to stand over you and your wife with a towel, wafting you both to cool you down, that might help."

    So, Danny asks Frank for this favor, who then agrees to help him. That night, Danny is in bed with his wife, pounding away with Frank fanning them with the towel but it's doing nothing for her.

    Danny says, "Well this isn't working, let's swap." So Danny takes the towel and starts wafting Frank, who is now making love to Danny's wife. Not long after, Danny's wife goes "Oooh... oh that's it, I'm about to cum, I'm going to cum!" And has the biggest squirt you've ever seen. 

    Frank and Danny's wife both look awkwardly at Danny , then a after a uncomfortable silence ,

    Danny shouts, triumphantly, "You see, Frank?! That's how you waft a fucking towel!"

This reply was deleted.

Latest comments

The Captain replied to LB's discussion V'Landys on Hello Sport
"V'Landys is here to turn the NRL into a money making machine - commercial revenue. That's it, that is his single remit and his sole objective. From broadcast rights to international expansion, the only things he cares about are the big ticket items…"
10 minutes ago
Hell On Eels replied to LB's discussion V'Landys on Hello Sport
"Carlo, LOL. I’d end up in the doghouse if I hijacked conversations willy nilly.
The irony in all this is that more freedom, fewer boundaries, does not automatically lead to more harmony or contentment. Often, the opposite.
Brett has happily posted…"
10 minutes ago
TolEllts replied to LB's discussion V'Landys on Hello Sport
"Question is, would Vlandy be saying what he is saying now if it is not the Storm who is interested in Lomax. Will he say and do the same thingif say it was the Tigers?"
18 minutes ago
Cʜɪᴇғy Mclovin 🐐 replied to ParramattaLurker's discussion Trial #2 / Pre Season Challenge Week 3 Team List v Sydney Roosters
"Every team is under pressure to perform.  I wouldn't call it pressure, its expectation from fans members,  sponsorship,  and most importantly every individual at the club- (besides Matterson who's on another planet), to put their best foot forward…"
39 minutes ago
Poppa replied to LB's discussion V'Landys on Hello Sport
"@TolEllts 
Understand that PVL is not an administrator in the sense you understand it, Abdo is an administrator, PVL is a leader.
He is a style of leader that makes things happen and what I would call a "benevolent dictator" it is the best form of…"
44 minutes ago
Gucci replied to ParramattaLurker's discussion Trial #2 / Pre Season Challenge Week 3 Team List v Sydney Roosters
"Williams played alot of right edge last year when Moretti was starting in the front row. Their jersey numbers didnt match the position they played. You can go watch the podcast he did with Bloke In a Bar. He explained this all himself too. I…"
46 minutes ago
The Badger replied to LB's discussion V'Landys on Hello Sport
"I like your style..."
1 hour ago
TolEllts replied to LB's discussion V'Landys on Hello Sport
"Just shows Vlandy is not a neutral administrator. He is an administrator solely for the revenues regardless whether it is fair for all teams. He mentioned about possibility of including the $300K into the Eels salary but then said it will not be…"
1 hour ago
LB replied to LB's discussion V'Landys on Hello Sport
"I mean look, nobody blames him for taking the money, not his fault. By Holbrook quickly realised the gaff and just made it easier by naming him at 6."
1 hour ago
Mitchy replied to LB's discussion V'Landys on Hello Sport
"Let's see him play consistently each and every week LB; he is on more $$ now and scrutinity too."
1 hour ago
CarloEEL2 replied to LB's discussion V'Landys on Hello Sport
"Oh he will prob fuck up in a pub up here and it will be recorded aka Pinga 
you can't do anything up here , and he's under a lot of pressure 
if I see him I'll ask him how he's gonna feel when we play finals "
1 hour ago
LB replied to LB's discussion V'Landys on Hello Sport
"Dylan Brown attack for Newcastle was amazing, great start."
1 hour ago
Mitchy replied to LB's discussion V'Landys on Hello Sport
"Carlo, maybe talk about Hillary and Bill, as there is some good history in this as well! :)
BTW did you see Dylan on fox last night....interesting seeing him in the media up at Newy!"
2 hours ago
CarloEEL2 replied to LB's discussion V'Landys on Hello Sport
"You should have lived in my marital home HOE 
There was more hi jackings in family convo than 9-11"
2 hours ago
CarloEEL2 replied to LB's discussion V'Landys on Hello Sport
"Bummer I can't talk about the Cheeto being a raging pedo and ppl ignoring it ANYWHERE ???!!!
that sucks "
2 hours ago
SuperEel 22 replied to ParramattaLurker's discussion Trial #2 / Pre Season Challenge Week 3 Team List v Sydney Roosters
"They're 2 guys that I think give you that competitiveness across a squad. They're always knocking on the door, they're consistent, they're the first cabs off the rank when we need someone to step up. You need these guys whose form and commitment…"
2 hours ago
More…

Keaon done deal

As of Thursday, December 11, 2025, South Sydney Rabbitohs forwardKeaon Koloamatangi has reportedly agreed to a deal with the Parramatta Eels, but it is not yet officially announced by the clubs.  Soon to be announced.

Read more…
14 Replies · Reply by Poppa Jan 9
Views: 2085

 

V'Landys on Hello Sport

Happy Monday, if anyone wants a good laugh to start their week, skip to 32:50 mark and listen to this f***wit talk. It is laughable seriously. Claiming the offer of $300k was a great deal and we can put that into our junior system. But said we can…

Read more…
63 Replies · Reply by The Captain 10 minutes ago
Views: 2193

<script src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js"></script>
<!-- Sidebar -->
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<script>// <![CDATA[
(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});
// ]]></script>