Joke of the week

Man and he wife sitting watching tv then Lady go oh my God i pain in the belly she goes again oh my God i got a pain in the belly 

Husband say to the dr there is a new dr just two house down from here go to see him and tell them you in pain

So she does then about half hour later she come back slammed the door and throws her self down

And her husband say did you get bad news

She said NO i didnt the dr told me to take off all my clothes off lay down on the table with my legs open 

He was looking between my legs and said gee that looks nice i like to full that up with ice-cream and lick it all up so i jumped up and got dressed come home

The husband said.. DID HE SAY THAT THE DIRTY CUNT WILL IM GOING TO SEE HIM ABOUT THAT

as he walk to the door he stop and thinking for a sec and then he walk back and sat down next to hes wife she looked at at him and said

I throught you were going to see the dr

The husband said ye i was but any man can eat that much ice-cream is to big for me

You need to be a member of 1Eyed Eel to add comments!

Join 1Eyed Eel

Votes: 0
Email me when people reply –

Replies

  • This reply was deleted.
    • I love that joke. I have been saying for 20 years it never got popular but always gets a laugh.

  • Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife. "You come to the front door of the apartment. I am in apartment 301. There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 301. I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow, push 3. When you get out, I'm on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell."

    "Grandma, that sounds easy but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?

    “What... You're coming empty handed

    • The worst joke I've ever heard 

      • You needed to understand Arnie Colin, Arnie was slightly challenged but had a wonderful self depracating sense of humour, a bit like Wiz asking his wife for an extra 50 under the curtain in the massage parlour......true story!

        • O K poppa but still the worst joke .one of the best I thought was the bloke not wanting to go in the army and got under what he thought was the nuns dress .

          • Yes, forgot about that one!.....Arnie probably does not have classic's as much as being so bad that you cannot help but laugh! Lol

      • maybe something to your taste Colin

        10892673675?profile=RESIZE_584x

        • 10892673495?profile=RESIZE_710x

  • https://youtube.com/shorts/w7Q5x6W0VVg?feature=share

    There's a million of these ...

     

     

  • This is one of my all time favourites 

     

     Danny cannot make his wife orgasm, so he goes to the doctor for some advice...

    He goes to the doctor and says, "Look, I just can't bring my wife to orgasm in bed, it's a real problem."

    The doctor says, "Well, is it too warm?"

    "Yes, it's absolutely sweltering"

    "Then get an air conditioner"

    "I can't afford air conditioner doc, I'm too poor"

    "Well, Danny, do you have a good friend, I mean a real close friend?"

    "Yeah, I've got a close friend, Frank"

    "Well, ask your friend Frank to stand over you and your wife with a towel, wafting you both to cool you down, that might help."

    So, Danny asks Frank for this favor, who then agrees to help him. That night, Danny is in bed with his wife, pounding away with Frank fanning them with the towel but it's doing nothing for her.

    Danny says, "Well this isn't working, let's swap." So Danny takes the towel and starts wafting Frank, who is now making love to Danny's wife. Not long after, Danny's wife goes "Oooh... oh that's it, I'm about to cum, I'm going to cum!" And has the biggest squirt you've ever seen. 

    Frank and Danny's wife both look awkwardly at Danny , then a after a uncomfortable silence ,

    Danny shouts, triumphantly, "You see, Frank?! That's how you waft a fucking towel!"

This reply was deleted.

Latest comments

KENDOZA replied to Fiddy's discussion Burton to Eels?
"Did he fall out with arthur lb?"
1 hour ago
LB replied to Fiddy's discussion Burton to Eels?
"Breaks my heart not seeing him at Parra coaching again. Wish he was at least coaching our NSW Cup team."
1 hour ago
LB replied to Fiddy's discussion Burton to Eels?
"To be fair FMP, Chief was in favour in letting Gutho go early. Mainly due to his hatred of BA, he linked Gutho to that too and wanted all traces of BA gone. That is not me being smart allic either i am actually serious that is a reason he was in…"
1 hour ago
Cʜɪᴇғy Mclovin replied to Fiddy's discussion Burton to Eels?
"also this guy should be at Parramatta.   A Parramatta man"
1 hour ago
Cʜɪᴇғy Mclovin replied to Fiddy's discussion Burton to Eels?
"So now you're back tracking.  Let's just agree to disagree and get on with it"
1 hour ago
fake midget pseudoachondroplasia replied to Fiddy's discussion Burton to Eels?
"Don't have time to go through all your wrong predictions, you delete blogs anyway when proven wrong like your recent blog about Sua being a bad signing at 28 years old.
Even if you didn't mention Gutho making them better I bet you compared Saints…"
1 hour ago
fake midget pseudoachondroplasia replied to Fiddy's discussion Burton to Eels?
"Of course they wouldn't, but as soon as he has a good game for saints, it will be mentioned how the front office stuffed up signing him. "
1 hour ago
Coryn Hughes replied to Angry Eel's discussion Hypothetical Question
"The front office screwed it because they got caught cheating that was the bigger issue.Foran unfortunately his body was at the end of it by the time he got to us and the mental state hurt him also."
1 hour ago
Poupou Escobar replied to Angry Eel's discussion Hypothetical Question
"The front office didn't screw that, Kieran Foran did. Unless you're talking about the salary cap cheating, in which case, we wouldn't have signed all those players without it."
1 hour ago
Blue Eel replied to Angry Eel's discussion Hypothetical Question
"Throw in a Micheal Jennings, Hindmarsh,Vella and Dylan Brown. Yep."
2 hours ago
Cʜɪᴇғy Mclovin replied to Fiddy's discussion Burton to Eels?
"I reckon they'll retire Gutherson and someone said they'll offer him something in coaching. "
2 hours ago
Michael W. replied to Fiddy's discussion Burton to Eels?
"I wouldn't sign him for 1yr, he is way overrated, imo."
2 hours ago
EA replied to Fiddy's discussion Burton to Eels?
"If dragons can fix their outside backs and get a good coach, I recon they will challenge for the 8 next year. Gutho and Holmes at centre is cooked. Atkinson and Metcalf in the halves with Reed and LKT still developing. Drinkwater at fullback. Liddle…"
2 hours ago
Coryn Hughes replied to Angry Eel's discussion Hypothetical Question
"Not be me.
I really thought in 2016 when we signed Kieran Foran that was our circuit breaker with him in the mix with the team he had around him I thought we would have been top 4 for that year and many years after that.How cruel it was the front…"
3 hours ago
Cʜɪᴇғy Mclovin replied to Fiddy's discussion Burton to Eels?
"Nope. That's false.  I've always been in favour of letting Gutherson go early.  
You should be called fake news midget 
Gp and find where I said they'd be better with Gutherson genius.  "
3 hours ago
fake midget pseudoachondroplasia replied to Fiddy's discussion Burton to Eels?
"Chief, you also said dragons would be better then us when they recruited Cook, Gutho and Holmes when we relied on younger players so how did that turn out for you.  You don't have a very good record with predictions and your credibility on…"
3 hours ago
More…

 

<script src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js"></script>
<!-- Sidebar -->
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<script>// <![CDATA[
(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});
// ]]></script>