Joke of the week

Man and he wife sitting watching tv then Lady go oh my God i pain in the belly she goes again oh my God i got a pain in the belly 

Husband say to the dr there is a new dr just two house down from here go to see him and tell them you in pain

So she does then about half hour later she come back slammed the door and throws her self down

And her husband say did you get bad news

She said NO i didnt the dr told me to take off all my clothes off lay down on the table with my legs open 

He was looking between my legs and said gee that looks nice i like to full that up with ice-cream and lick it all up so i jumped up and got dressed come home

The husband said.. DID HE SAY THAT THE DIRTY CUNT WILL IM GOING TO SEE HIM ABOUT THAT

as he walk to the door he stop and thinking for a sec and then he walk back and sat down next to hes wife she looked at at him and said

I throught you were going to see the dr

The husband said ye i was but any man can eat that much ice-cream is to big for me

You need to be a member of 1Eyed Eel to add comments!

Join 1Eyed Eel

Votes: 0
Email me when people reply –

Replies

  • This reply was deleted.
    • I love that joke. I have been saying for 20 years it never got popular but always gets a laugh.

  • Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife. "You come to the front door of the apartment. I am in apartment 301. There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 301. I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow, push 3. When you get out, I'm on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell."

    "Grandma, that sounds easy but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?

    “What... You're coming empty handed

    • The worst joke I've ever heard 

      • You needed to understand Arnie Colin, Arnie was slightly challenged but had a wonderful self depracating sense of humour, a bit like Wiz asking his wife for an extra 50 under the curtain in the massage parlour......true story!

        • O K poppa but still the worst joke .one of the best I thought was the bloke not wanting to go in the army and got under what he thought was the nuns dress .

          • Yes, forgot about that one!.....Arnie probably does not have classic's as much as being so bad that you cannot help but laugh! Lol

      • maybe something to your taste Colin

        10892673675?profile=RESIZE_584x

        • 10892673495?profile=RESIZE_710x

  • https://youtube.com/shorts/w7Q5x6W0VVg?feature=share

    There's a million of these ...

     

     

  • This is one of my all time favourites 

     

     Danny cannot make his wife orgasm, so he goes to the doctor for some advice...

    He goes to the doctor and says, "Look, I just can't bring my wife to orgasm in bed, it's a real problem."

    The doctor says, "Well, is it too warm?"

    "Yes, it's absolutely sweltering"

    "Then get an air conditioner"

    "I can't afford air conditioner doc, I'm too poor"

    "Well, Danny, do you have a good friend, I mean a real close friend?"

    "Yeah, I've got a close friend, Frank"

    "Well, ask your friend Frank to stand over you and your wife with a towel, wafting you both to cool you down, that might help."

    So, Danny asks Frank for this favor, who then agrees to help him. That night, Danny is in bed with his wife, pounding away with Frank fanning them with the towel but it's doing nothing for her.

    Danny says, "Well this isn't working, let's swap." So Danny takes the towel and starts wafting Frank, who is now making love to Danny's wife. Not long after, Danny's wife goes "Oooh... oh that's it, I'm about to cum, I'm going to cum!" And has the biggest squirt you've ever seen. 

    Frank and Danny's wife both look awkwardly at Danny , then a after a uncomfortable silence ,

    Danny shouts, triumphantly, "You see, Frank?! That's how you waft a fucking towel!"

This reply was deleted.

Latest comments

macybrown replied to ParramattaLurker's discussion Official Club Statement: Parramatta Eels commence legal proceedings against Zac Lomax
"Muttman,  do you think that we are in fact forcing a full 'restraint of trade' when he agreed on contract that playing in ru was a viable option and he did persue that option and was offered an RU contract?
can it just be seen as agreeably applying…"
2 minutes ago
Randy Handlinger replied to ParramattaLurker's discussion Official Club Statement: Parramatta Eels commence legal proceedings against Zac Lomax
""
7 minutes ago
Blue Eel replied to ParramattaLurker's discussion Official Club Statement: Parramatta Eels commence legal proceedings against Zac Lomax
"An excerpt From the Canberra Times."
9 minutes ago
Poppa replied to ParramattaLurker's discussion Official Club Statement: Parramatta Eels commence legal proceedings against Zac Lomax
"That zero tackle article and what was said is as "out of context" completely and shows no support at all for the circumstances being undertaken....... its like a convicted criminal being welcomed back if he is proven innocent! purely hypothetical !…"
10 minutes ago
macybrown replied to ParramattaLurker's discussion Official Club Statement: Parramatta Eels commence legal proceedings against Zac Lomax
"Ha no comment!
but Im so excited to read we have  subpoenaed storm docs and lawyer who consulted on contract  hehe 
stick it to em Parra! Loving it"
11 minutes ago
macybrown replied to ParramattaLurker's discussion Official Club Statement: Parramatta Eels commence legal proceedings against Zac Lomax
"Yes! This is gooood! I love true crime :) Thought the same as you.  Im so glad Clint is being subpoenaed he better be careful as pretty sure nrl have stated any manager dealing with R360 is shown the door... to which he will deny Im reckoning. The…"
14 minutes ago
Randy Handlinger replied to ParramattaLurker's discussion Official Club Statement: Parramatta Eels commence legal proceedings against Zac Lomax
"hahahaha..I dunno, you randy?
I smell a rat/rats, but I think our club know what has transpired and we are not having it. Not without a fight
I still can't believe that Gillis drivel. It has to be part of their plan to get out of this or he may have…"
14 minutes ago
Blue Eel replied to ParramattaLurker's discussion Official Club Statement: Parramatta Eels commence legal proceedings against Zac Lomax
"He played a hybrid game that week HKF between Wing and centre didn't he. He wore 4 on his back as well.
Things are getting interesting now that new material has come to light via subpoenas against his manager Schfcovski and the Melbourne Storm, that…"
20 minutes ago
Muttman replied to ParramattaLurker's discussion Official Club Statement: Parramatta Eels commence legal proceedings against Zac Lomax
"Restraint of trade is a week argument given that: - He signed fully informed with legal advice - He has employment opportunities and has received offers from outside the NRL. I think a likely outcome will be perhaps the restraint is shortened or…"
22 minutes ago
macybrown replied to ParramattaLurker's discussion Official Club Statement: Parramatta Eels commence legal proceedings against Zac Lomax
"Thanks for posting this Badger.
interesting!
so, I'd love someone to clarify for me,  is it really restraint of trade tho when he was offered a contract to apply his trade with Union (albeit in a 450K deal)? It might be less than he was on but that…"
22 minutes ago
Randy Handlinger replied to ParramattaLurker's discussion Official Club Statement: Parramatta Eels commence legal proceedings against Zac Lomax
"I mean, lopping his head off with a massive fucking sword is quite the escalation, but have at it if you must"
22 minutes ago
Blue Eel replied to ParramattaLurker's discussion Official Club Statement: Parramatta Eels commence legal proceedings against Zac Lomax
"I'm hearing that the matter is also listed on the 29th January as well as a full hearing for 2 days from the 12/13 February.
The 29th may have been made available because the Eels may be looking into Zac making false or misleading statements to them…"
25 minutes ago
macybrown replied to ParramattaLurker's discussion Official Club Statement: Parramatta Eels commence legal proceedings against Zac Lomax
"Exactly what I think there mate! And btw pretty sure nrl have stated any manager discussing things with R360 is banned which I think his managers have denied. Yet the bloke wants a release to play R360 yeah nah. It was organised that's my conspiracy…"
27 minutes ago
Randy Handlinger replied to ParramattaLurker's discussion Official Club Statement: Parramatta Eels commence legal proceedings against Zac Lomax
"Have you read his managers statment from 17/1?...Macy posted it..  Enjlightening read
zerotackle.com/lomaxs-manager-provides-contract-update-defends-star...
 "
28 minutes ago
macybrown replied to ParramattaLurker's discussion Official Club Statement: Parramatta Eels commence legal proceedings against Zac Lomax
"Surely BE, we wouldn't have anything to stand on tho if playing as only centre for us was in writing.
though he made it clear excuse he left dragons so tgat he could persue boxing for which they wouldn't insure him at saints and moving to us was the…"
31 minutes ago
Randy Handlinger replied to ParramattaLurker's discussion Official Club Statement: Parramatta Eels commence legal proceedings against Zac Lomax
"Wow Mace. That press release seems fucking crazy from them. That's why he was the only player who thought r360 would get off the ground and actually broke contract for it.....because he didn't, the sneaky prick. 
 "
32 minutes ago
More…

Keaon done deal

As of Thursday, December 11, 2025, South Sydney Rabbitohs forwardKeaon Koloamatangi has reportedly agreed to a deal with the Parramatta Eels, but it is not yet officially announced by the clubs.  Soon to be announced.

Read more…
14 Replies · Reply by Poppa Jan 9
Views: 1958

ANY MORE SIGNINGS???

I've been frustrated recently about the work we have been doing in the open market. Jonah's alright for a year and JDB is solid but he's getting old. I feel we need more in the forwards and some a replacement outside back. All I have seen is links…

Read more…
0 Replies
Views: 262

 

<script src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js"></script>
<!-- Sidebar -->
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<script>// <![CDATA[
(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});
// ]]></script>