Joke of the week

Man and he wife sitting watching tv then Lady go oh my God i pain in the belly she goes again oh my God i got a pain in the belly 

Husband say to the dr there is a new dr just two house down from here go to see him and tell them you in pain

So she does then about half hour later she come back slammed the door and throws her self down

And her husband say did you get bad news

She said NO i didnt the dr told me to take off all my clothes off lay down on the table with my legs open 

He was looking between my legs and said gee that looks nice i like to full that up with ice-cream and lick it all up so i jumped up and got dressed come home

The husband said.. DID HE SAY THAT THE DIRTY CUNT WILL IM GOING TO SEE HIM ABOUT THAT

as he walk to the door he stop and thinking for a sec and then he walk back and sat down next to hes wife she looked at at him and said

I throught you were going to see the dr

The husband said ye i was but any man can eat that much ice-cream is to big for me

You need to be a member of 1Eyed Eel to add comments!

Join 1Eyed Eel

Votes: 0
Email me when people reply –

Replies

  • This reply was deleted.
    • I love that joke. I have been saying for 20 years it never got popular but always gets a laugh.

  • Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife. "You come to the front door of the apartment. I am in apartment 301. There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 301. I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow, push 3. When you get out, I'm on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell."

    "Grandma, that sounds easy but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?

    “What... You're coming empty handed

    • The worst joke I've ever heard 

      • You needed to understand Arnie Colin, Arnie was slightly challenged but had a wonderful self depracating sense of humour, a bit like Wiz asking his wife for an extra 50 under the curtain in the massage parlour......true story!

        • O K poppa but still the worst joke .one of the best I thought was the bloke not wanting to go in the army and got under what he thought was the nuns dress .

          • Yes, forgot about that one!.....Arnie probably does not have classic's as much as being so bad that you cannot help but laugh! Lol

      • maybe something to your taste Colin

        10892673675?profile=RESIZE_584x

        • 10892673495?profile=RESIZE_710x

  • https://youtube.com/shorts/w7Q5x6W0VVg?feature=share

    There's a million of these ...

     

     

  • This is one of my all time favourites 

     

     Danny cannot make his wife orgasm, so he goes to the doctor for some advice...

    He goes to the doctor and says, "Look, I just can't bring my wife to orgasm in bed, it's a real problem."

    The doctor says, "Well, is it too warm?"

    "Yes, it's absolutely sweltering"

    "Then get an air conditioner"

    "I can't afford air conditioner doc, I'm too poor"

    "Well, Danny, do you have a good friend, I mean a real close friend?"

    "Yeah, I've got a close friend, Frank"

    "Well, ask your friend Frank to stand over you and your wife with a towel, wafting you both to cool you down, that might help."

    So, Danny asks Frank for this favor, who then agrees to help him. That night, Danny is in bed with his wife, pounding away with Frank fanning them with the towel but it's doing nothing for her.

    Danny says, "Well this isn't working, let's swap." So Danny takes the towel and starts wafting Frank, who is now making love to Danny's wife. Not long after, Danny's wife goes "Oooh... oh that's it, I'm about to cum, I'm going to cum!" And has the biggest squirt you've ever seen. 

    Frank and Danny's wife both look awkwardly at Danny , then a after a uncomfortable silence ,

    Danny shouts, triumphantly, "You see, Frank?! That's how you waft a fucking towel!"

This reply was deleted.

Latest comments

Prof. Daz replied to Muttman's discussion Eels win in the Supreme Court
"Does the $250,000 come off Storm's cap? The salary cap includes inducements to play, like houses or cars or legal fees. What is the chance V'Landys, already with egg on his face for supporting the Storm's case that has been shown to have no legs by…"
4 minutes ago
Strange-eel replied to Blue Eel's discussion The last of the BA Era.
"It's interesting thinking about it."
9 minutes ago
Richard Jackson replied to Muttman's discussion Eels win in the Supreme Court
"Thats given mate. just so long as they're not as harsh as the were to the Dragons in Vegas! Expect increased decibles from the cooking pots though."
9 minutes ago
parra supporter replied to Muttman's discussion Eels win in the Supreme Court
"Read storm offered to pay him 400K for him to be essentially released and he still said no. Bellamy didn't want him there"
28 minutes ago
KENDOZA replied to Muttman's discussion Eels win in the Supreme Court
"You just watch us get dudded by the refs thurs night. The nrl will feel sorry for melbourne"
29 minutes ago
Hell On Eels replied to Muttman's discussion Eels win in the Supreme Court
"Especially, when you're forking out 500K-$1m out of your own pocket for the privilege of airing your own laundry and your HQ pals on the witness stand. Checkmate.
Arthur Moses might be better than Tom Cruise but this isn't A Few Good Men. "
30 minutes ago
Clintorian replied to Muttman's discussion Eels win in the Supreme Court
"In theory I would take him, but culturally I think it could create a toxic environment for him and our players and resentment could build on both fronts. Best off finding him a team and a swap deal and we both move on.
Not sure I would trust him to…"
43 minutes ago
parra supporter replied to Blue Eel's discussion The last of the BA Era.
"Being reported storms did not even want him, they agreed to effectively pay out the 400k for him to be released. He would've been a free agent and still have been paid his contract. Why would he say no to that other than wanting to be difficult?"
47 minutes ago
Coryn Hughes replied to Muttman's discussion Eels win in the Supreme Court
"We need to nail them on Thursday then stick the dagger in and recruit more talent in a position of need to really kick home the advantage.
I hope Jim and Matthew the club & its members aren't satisfied and we kick on and really make the most out of…"
1 hour ago
Richard Jackson replied to Muttman's discussion Eels win in the Supreme Court
"Anguillidae you've laid it out exactly as it was. Good stuff."
1 hour ago
Hell On Eels replied to Blue Eel's discussion The last of the BA Era.
"Bluey, good blog. This is an probably an unpopular opinion...
We tried to offload Matto. We couldn't. There are 7 months left chewing say $350-400K of cap space.
We just honour the contract (like we expected Lomax to) and look after him as best we…"
1 hour ago
Parrafan101 replied to Muttman's discussion Eels win in the Supreme Court
"Why when parra have info to make Vlandys lose his job and reputation and can put the game 10 years back."
1 hour ago
Parrafan101 replied to Muttman's discussion Eels win in the Supreme Court
"Parra have enough information that could possibly put the NRL and storms exposed which this could possibly or potentially start a war and a super league like comp being form."
1 hour ago
Rabz S replied to ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER's discussion We win the count case weget $250.000 of the storm
"No, the money goes to wherever PARRA paid the legal fees from."
1 hour ago
Rabz S replied to Blue Eel's discussion The last of the BA Era.
"Didn't he recently get another concussion?
Surely medical retirement is on the cards now."
1 hour ago
Rabz S replied to Muttman's discussion Eels win in the Supreme Court
""
1 hour ago
More…

Keaon done deal

As of Thursday, December 11, 2025, South Sydney Rabbitohs forwardKeaon Koloamatangi has reportedly agreed to a deal with the Parramatta Eels, but it is not yet officially announced by the clubs.  Soon to be announced.

Read more…
14 Replies · Reply by Poppa Jan 9
Views: 2145

 

The last of the BA Era.

 It has to be discussed dosnt it. Now that Zac can't play NRL for the next 2 years, unless the Eels are compensated, I'd like to move on and discuss the elephant in the room.By all accounts the Eels have tried just about everything in the last 2…

Read more…
4 Replies · Reply by Strange-eel 9 minutes ago
Views: 249

Eels win in the Supreme Court

Summary:Zac Lomax has settled his legal dispute with the Parramatta Eels, agreeing he cannot return to the NRL without the club’s written consent before the 2028 season.In a surprise development in the NSW Supreme Court, both parties reached a…

Read more…
90 Replies · Reply by Prof. Daz 4 minutes ago
Views: 2287

<script src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js"></script>
<!-- Sidebar -->
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<script>// <![CDATA[
(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});
// ]]></script>