Joke of the week

Man and he wife sitting watching tv then Lady go oh my God i pain in the belly she goes again oh my God i got a pain in the belly 

Husband say to the dr there is a new dr just two house down from here go to see him and tell them you in pain

So she does then about half hour later she come back slammed the door and throws her self down

And her husband say did you get bad news

She said NO i didnt the dr told me to take off all my clothes off lay down on the table with my legs open 

He was looking between my legs and said gee that looks nice i like to full that up with ice-cream and lick it all up so i jumped up and got dressed come home

The husband said.. DID HE SAY THAT THE DIRTY CUNT WILL IM GOING TO SEE HIM ABOUT THAT

as he walk to the door he stop and thinking for a sec and then he walk back and sat down next to hes wife she looked at at him and said

I throught you were going to see the dr

The husband said ye i was but any man can eat that much ice-cream is to big for me

You need to be a member of 1Eyed Eel to add comments!

Join 1Eyed Eel

Votes: 0
Email me when people reply –

Replies

  • This reply was deleted.
    • I love that joke. I have been saying for 20 years it never got popular but always gets a laugh.

  • Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife. "You come to the front door of the apartment. I am in apartment 301. There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 301. I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow, push 3. When you get out, I'm on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell."

    "Grandma, that sounds easy but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?

    “What... You're coming empty handed

    • The worst joke I've ever heard 

      • You needed to understand Arnie Colin, Arnie was slightly challenged but had a wonderful self depracating sense of humour, a bit like Wiz asking his wife for an extra 50 under the curtain in the massage parlour......true story!

        • O K poppa but still the worst joke .one of the best I thought was the bloke not wanting to go in the army and got under what he thought was the nuns dress .

          • Yes, forgot about that one!.....Arnie probably does not have classic's as much as being so bad that you cannot help but laugh! Lol

      • maybe something to your taste Colin

        10892673675?profile=RESIZE_584x

        • 10892673495?profile=RESIZE_710x

  • https://youtube.com/shorts/w7Q5x6W0VVg?feature=share

    There's a million of these ...

     

     

  • This is one of my all time favourites 

     

     Danny cannot make his wife orgasm, so he goes to the doctor for some advice...

    He goes to the doctor and says, "Look, I just can't bring my wife to orgasm in bed, it's a real problem."

    The doctor says, "Well, is it too warm?"

    "Yes, it's absolutely sweltering"

    "Then get an air conditioner"

    "I can't afford air conditioner doc, I'm too poor"

    "Well, Danny, do you have a good friend, I mean a real close friend?"

    "Yeah, I've got a close friend, Frank"

    "Well, ask your friend Frank to stand over you and your wife with a towel, wafting you both to cool you down, that might help."

    So, Danny asks Frank for this favor, who then agrees to help him. That night, Danny is in bed with his wife, pounding away with Frank fanning them with the towel but it's doing nothing for her.

    Danny says, "Well this isn't working, let's swap." So Danny takes the towel and starts wafting Frank, who is now making love to Danny's wife. Not long after, Danny's wife goes "Oooh... oh that's it, I'm about to cum, I'm going to cum!" And has the biggest squirt you've ever seen. 

    Frank and Danny's wife both look awkwardly at Danny , then a after a uncomfortable silence ,

    Danny shouts, triumphantly, "You see, Frank?! That's how you waft a fucking towel!"

This reply was deleted.

Latest comments

Cʜɪᴇғy Mclovin🐐 - Mark O'neill's 🪓 replied to Cʜɪᴇғy Mclovin🐐 - Mark O'neill's 🪓's discussion The real reason why Eels won
"Say g’day to your wifey for me, pops — and don’t worry about getting sillier… that just means the warranty’s expired and you’re running in “fun mode” now. I’ll be one of your many friends keeping an eye on you!"
2 minutes ago
The Badger replied to Muttman's discussion Head Coach Flanagan and Head of Football Haran sacked.
"Maybe next season, when his emotions have played out, would Flanagan make a decent assistant coach for us? 
 "
2 minutes ago
Poppa replied to Cʜɪᴇғy Mclovin🐐 - Mark O'neill's 🪓's discussion The real reason why Eels won
"I wish I could grow hair......again!"
7 minutes ago
Poppa replied to Cʜɪᴇғy Mclovin🐐 - Mark O'neill's 🪓's discussion The real reason why Eels won
"LOL, Sterlo once said that if he did not "not put in" he would be scared to face Ray Price after the game."
9 minutes ago
Poppa replied to Cʜɪᴇғy Mclovin🐐 - Mark O'neill's 🪓's discussion The real reason why Eels won
"School teaching is a great profession Chiefy, I take the piss with LB a lot on the subject, but it is meant as a respectful dialogue. Sometimes you can hurt people with insults that are not meant that way. My apologies to all the school teachers out…"
14 minutes ago
Poppa replied to Cʜɪᴇғy Mclovin🐐 - Mark O'neill's 🪓's discussion The real reason why Eels won
"I respect that Chiefy, your a fine man!
PS I figure the older I get the sillier I get, so I need all the friends I can get.
Mind you one of my best friends ever was a Black Kiwi, we coached a lot of Cricket Teams in our younger days, he told me…"
20 minutes ago
shane replied to Cʜɪᴇғy Mclovin🐐 - Mark O'neill's 🪓's discussion The real reason why Eels won
"how good was the game, played as it should be with none of the minipulation and flat out cheating with heaps of 6 agains at the start of a game from the officals."
25 minutes ago
Cʜɪᴇғy Mclovin🐐 - Mark O'neill's 🪓 replied to Cʜɪᴇғy Mclovin🐐 - Mark O'neill's 🪓's discussion The real reason why Eels won
"Pop do you or anyone know who this player is?  Surely its not will Penisini as the post suggests 
 "
25 minutes ago
Cʜɪᴇғy Mclovin🐐 - Mark O'neill's 🪓 replied to Cʜɪᴇғy Mclovin🐐 - Mark O'neill's 🪓's discussion The real reason why Eels won
"Ok you're right.  I deleted it. Poppa the 1ee peacemaker 🤣🤣🤣
I just wanted to buy him.a beer, and maybe an arm wrestler to settle it lol"
28 minutes ago
Poppa replied to Cʜɪᴇғy Mclovin🐐 - Mark O'neill's 🪓's discussion The real reason why Eels won
"Well your an old bastard, you cannot deny that..... says the Silly Old Bastard, you will get promoted to Silly one day Bobbie.....I don't know how high I can go, I already reached that high esteem, I suppose I am lucky I haven't got Billy in my…"
31 minutes ago
Poppa replied to Cʜɪᴇғy Mclovin🐐 - Mark O'neill's 🪓's discussion The real reason why Eels won
"Comeon Chiefy, we don't want to get too serious on a social media site.....BM is a legend and if he called me a fool my only reaction would be to have a good hard look at myself.
When you get criticised by people who you respect and they respect…"
39 minutes ago
Cʜɪᴇғy Mclovin🐐 - Mark O'neill's 🪓 replied to Cʜɪᴇғy Mclovin🐐 - Mark O'neill's 🪓's discussion The real reason why Eels won
"🤣🤣🤣🤣"
1 hour ago
Adam Magrath replied to Cʜɪᴇғy Mclovin🐐 - Mark O'neill's 🪓's discussion The real reason why Eels won
"You whored it to two home games? Disgraceful. "
1 hour ago
Hector Bob Down replied to Cʜɪᴇғy Mclovin🐐 - Mark O'neill's 🪓's discussion The real reason why Eels won
"I don't know Chiefy but bought the replica 81 jersey at the start of the year . Whore it to two home games tigers and titans . Took it off told she who must be obeyed that's it after it's wash in the wardrobe and that's where it will stay . Went…"
1 hour ago
Adam Magrath replied to Muttman's discussion Head Coach Flanagan and Head of Football Haran sacked.
"If you want to completely destroy your roster for the foreseeable future, the dragons have the blueprint on how to do it. Some absolutely crazy recruitment decisions.
At a personal level I have sympathy for Shane Flanagan because this looks like it…"
2 hours ago
Bourbon Man replied to Cʜɪᴇғy Mclovin🐐 - Mark O'neill's 🪓's discussion The real reason why Eels won
"Poppa, I know you get frustrated with this lot on the forum. I'm a couple of decades behind you but, I'm approaching 50 and I'm finding myself suffering fools less and less lightly."
9 hours ago
More…

Keaon done deal

As of Thursday, December 11, 2025, South Sydney Rabbitohs forwardKeaon Koloamatangi has reportedly agreed to a deal with the Parramatta Eels, but it is not yet officially announced by the clubs.  Soon to be announced.

Read more…
14 Replies · Reply by Poppa Jan 9
Views: 2346

 

The Unicorns Strike Back

If some of you people can check in your hipocracy after last week, it may be you will be able to see your own biases.Have a read of what Pro Daz said  about scapegoats. You called it well Daz and it showed up how people change given circumstances…

Read more…
105 Replies · Reply by Mallee57 13 hours ago
Views: 1552

<script src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js"></script>
<!-- Sidebar -->
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<script>// <![CDATA[
(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});
// ]]></script>