Joke of the week

Man and he wife sitting watching tv then Lady go oh my God i pain in the belly she goes again oh my God i got a pain in the belly 

Husband say to the dr there is a new dr just two house down from here go to see him and tell them you in pain

So she does then about half hour later she come back slammed the door and throws her self down

And her husband say did you get bad news

She said NO i didnt the dr told me to take off all my clothes off lay down on the table with my legs open 

He was looking between my legs and said gee that looks nice i like to full that up with ice-cream and lick it all up so i jumped up and got dressed come home

The husband said.. DID HE SAY THAT THE DIRTY CUNT WILL IM GOING TO SEE HIM ABOUT THAT

as he walk to the door he stop and thinking for a sec and then he walk back and sat down next to hes wife she looked at at him and said

I throught you were going to see the dr

The husband said ye i was but any man can eat that much ice-cream is to big for me

You need to be a member of 1Eyed Eel to add comments!

Join 1Eyed Eel

Votes: 0
Email me when people reply –

Replies

  • This reply was deleted.
    • I love that joke. I have been saying for 20 years it never got popular but always gets a laugh.

  • Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife. "You come to the front door of the apartment. I am in apartment 301. There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 301. I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow, push 3. When you get out, I'm on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell."

    "Grandma, that sounds easy but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?

    “What... You're coming empty handed

    • The worst joke I've ever heard 

      • You needed to understand Arnie Colin, Arnie was slightly challenged but had a wonderful self depracating sense of humour, a bit like Wiz asking his wife for an extra 50 under the curtain in the massage parlour......true story!

        • O K poppa but still the worst joke .one of the best I thought was the bloke not wanting to go in the army and got under what he thought was the nuns dress .

          • Yes, forgot about that one!.....Arnie probably does not have classic's as much as being so bad that you cannot help but laugh! Lol

      • maybe something to your taste Colin

        10892673675?profile=RESIZE_584x

        • 10892673495?profile=RESIZE_710x

  • https://youtube.com/shorts/w7Q5x6W0VVg?feature=share

    There's a million of these ...

     

     

  • This is one of my all time favourites 

     

     Danny cannot make his wife orgasm, so he goes to the doctor for some advice...

    He goes to the doctor and says, "Look, I just can't bring my wife to orgasm in bed, it's a real problem."

    The doctor says, "Well, is it too warm?"

    "Yes, it's absolutely sweltering"

    "Then get an air conditioner"

    "I can't afford air conditioner doc, I'm too poor"

    "Well, Danny, do you have a good friend, I mean a real close friend?"

    "Yeah, I've got a close friend, Frank"

    "Well, ask your friend Frank to stand over you and your wife with a towel, wafting you both to cool you down, that might help."

    So, Danny asks Frank for this favor, who then agrees to help him. That night, Danny is in bed with his wife, pounding away with Frank fanning them with the towel but it's doing nothing for her.

    Danny says, "Well this isn't working, let's swap." So Danny takes the towel and starts wafting Frank, who is now making love to Danny's wife. Not long after, Danny's wife goes "Oooh... oh that's it, I'm about to cum, I'm going to cum!" And has the biggest squirt you've ever seen. 

    Frank and Danny's wife both look awkwardly at Danny , then a after a uncomfortable silence ,

    Danny shouts, triumphantly, "You see, Frank?! That's how you waft a fucking towel!"

This reply was deleted.

Latest comments

Yehez replied to Hell On Eels's discussion V'landyball: The Momentum Wars
"Yes, kicking behind the line is something missing for us that our 6 and 1 should provide. Iongi has developed it and we scored off his kicks against Brisbane I think. Really need him back."
4 hours ago
Poupou Escobar replied to Angry Eel's discussion Hypothetical Question
"Foran played 162 NRL games AFTER HE LEFT THE EELS. Add that to the 147 he played in his first stint at Manly and the 9 games he played for us, Foran played over 300 NRL games. Hardly a player with "problems". Most likely is that he got the fuck out…"
4 hours ago
Hell On Eels replied to Hell On Eels's discussion V'landyball: The Momentum Wars
"Yehez, yep, you'd probably rather defend on the line with 13-men than further up-field where full-backs and wingers drop back for the kick; almost a 10-man line.
That's also a reason we probably need to be better at scoring tries off kicks behind…"
4 hours ago
Hell On Eels replied to Parra fan on The Hill's discussion Abdo Gonski
"Daz, that’s a fascinating point. I listened to Kent’s podcast after your post.
Kent claims around half the RLPA poll respondents were senior players with 8+ years experience (over 200 seasons of experience) and their concerns included:

the game…"
5 hours ago
Yehez replied to Hell On Eels's discussion V'landyball: The Momentum Wars
""The Eels have also defended multiple consecutive sets without conceding points. The issue is not whether they can. But how often they are forced to do it."
Pretty much. And that comes from incomplete sets and dropped balls. Our systems on the line…"
5 hours ago
Prof. Daz replied to Angry Eel's discussion Hypothetical Question
"Well, how many half chances that the Eels have left out there would have been converted with Hayne and Semi? The Eels rank 11th for converting a normal set into a try. If there are set restarts? The Eels drop to 15th for scoring a try after a set…"
5 hours ago
Prof. Daz replied to Adam Hayne's discussion Will Penisini Gone
"The Rugby League Eye Test released its mid-season report todasy and calculated Top and Bottom 20 players for player contribtion.
In the Bottom 20 list, Penisini sits . . . 3rd (worst). Luckily the resident 1Eyedeel Recruitment & Retention Experts…"
6 hours ago
Prof. Daz replied to Parra fan on The Hill's discussion Abdo Gonski
"LB, is the poll  mentioned by Kent the one conducted by the RLPA? Where they 'reported' that 50% of the players no longer enjoy the game as much as they once did and 80% think the refs decide matches?
I would put almost zero confidence in those…"
6 hours ago
LB replied to Parra fan on The Hill's discussion Abdo Gonski
"Well if you listen to the recent Paul Kent episode he mentions, and mentioned this before today as well, the NRL seems to be a place that is miserable to work out. Very high turnover rates. Even to a point where many NRL club CEO's felt for Abdo…"
6 hours ago
Randy Handlinger replied to Parra fan on The Hill's discussion Abdo Gonski
"We had him by the short-ones in court until they pulled the plug. I weep for the dirt we had that went to waste."
6 hours ago
mongolian trotting duck replied to Johnny Suede's discussion Moses Inured & Looking Unlikely For Origin One. Matt Burton & Ethan Strange Brought Into The Squad
"ethan strange was already in the squad"
7 hours ago
KENDOZA replied to Adam Hayne's discussion Will Penisini Gone
"Warriors going great atm. Why would they want to dampen that by signing will penisini?."
7 hours ago
KENDOZA replied to Parra fan on The Hill's discussion Abdo Gonski
"Ugly pete should be next another arrogant prick "
7 hours ago
LB replied to Angry Eel's discussion Hypothetical Question
"Fui never gets talked about the way he should. I stand by that if we won in 09' he wins the CC medal."
8 hours ago
Randy Handlinger replied to Parra fan on The Hill's discussion Abdo Gonski
"It was shit but I've forgotten you already.
Who is Vlandys gonna teabag now?"
8 hours ago
Hector Bob Down replied to Adam Hayne's discussion Will Penisini Gone
"Their words not mine"
8 hours ago
More…

 

<script src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js"></script>
<!-- Sidebar -->
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<script>// <![CDATA[
(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});
// ]]></script>