Joke of the week

Man and he wife sitting watching tv then Lady go oh my God i pain in the belly she goes again oh my God i got a pain in the belly 

Husband say to the dr there is a new dr just two house down from here go to see him and tell them you in pain

So she does then about half hour later she come back slammed the door and throws her self down

And her husband say did you get bad news

She said NO i didnt the dr told me to take off all my clothes off lay down on the table with my legs open 

He was looking between my legs and said gee that looks nice i like to full that up with ice-cream and lick it all up so i jumped up and got dressed come home

The husband said.. DID HE SAY THAT THE DIRTY CUNT WILL IM GOING TO SEE HIM ABOUT THAT

as he walk to the door he stop and thinking for a sec and then he walk back and sat down next to hes wife she looked at at him and said

I throught you were going to see the dr

The husband said ye i was but any man can eat that much ice-cream is to big for me

You need to be a member of 1Eyed Eel to add comments!

Join 1Eyed Eel

Votes: 0
Email me when people reply –

Replies

  • This reply was deleted.
    • I love that joke. I have been saying for 20 years it never got popular but always gets a laugh.

  • Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife. "You come to the front door of the apartment. I am in apartment 301. There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 301. I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow, push 3. When you get out, I'm on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell."

    "Grandma, that sounds easy but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?

    “What... You're coming empty handed

    • The worst joke I've ever heard 

      • You needed to understand Arnie Colin, Arnie was slightly challenged but had a wonderful self depracating sense of humour, a bit like Wiz asking his wife for an extra 50 under the curtain in the massage parlour......true story!

        • O K poppa but still the worst joke .one of the best I thought was the bloke not wanting to go in the army and got under what he thought was the nuns dress .

          • Yes, forgot about that one!.....Arnie probably does not have classic's as much as being so bad that you cannot help but laugh! Lol

      • maybe something to your taste Colin

        10892673675?profile=RESIZE_584x

        • 10892673495?profile=RESIZE_710x

  • https://youtube.com/shorts/w7Q5x6W0VVg?feature=share

    There's a million of these ...

     

     

  • This is one of my all time favourites 

     

     Danny cannot make his wife orgasm, so he goes to the doctor for some advice...

    He goes to the doctor and says, "Look, I just can't bring my wife to orgasm in bed, it's a real problem."

    The doctor says, "Well, is it too warm?"

    "Yes, it's absolutely sweltering"

    "Then get an air conditioner"

    "I can't afford air conditioner doc, I'm too poor"

    "Well, Danny, do you have a good friend, I mean a real close friend?"

    "Yeah, I've got a close friend, Frank"

    "Well, ask your friend Frank to stand over you and your wife with a towel, wafting you both to cool you down, that might help."

    So, Danny asks Frank for this favor, who then agrees to help him. That night, Danny is in bed with his wife, pounding away with Frank fanning them with the towel but it's doing nothing for her.

    Danny says, "Well this isn't working, let's swap." So Danny takes the towel and starts wafting Frank, who is now making love to Danny's wife. Not long after, Danny's wife goes "Oooh... oh that's it, I'm about to cum, I'm going to cum!" And has the biggest squirt you've ever seen. 

    Frank and Danny's wife both look awkwardly at Danny , then a after a uncomfortable silence ,

    Danny shouts, triumphantly, "You see, Frank?! That's how you waft a fucking towel!"

This reply was deleted.

Latest comments

Khalif replied to LB's discussion 1EE All-time Eels team: Fullback
"My typo, Pops
Should have read "average backline" which is what Parra had at the time despite great forwards. He made those guys look really good at times.. 
As you say, his international record was superb.
I think we are saying the same thing, he…"
10 hours ago
Colin Good replied to Cʜɪᴇғy Mclovin 🐐's discussion VEGAS - HERE WE COME !!!! & its not the Storm !
"Is prof Das a real professor , attacking Mitch he must be a MARXIST "
10 hours ago
Zip zip replied to ParramattaLurker's discussion Round 3 Team List v St George Illawarra Dragons
"JDB has Zero impact with the ball and although his defence is what he is known for, the speed of attack, repeat sets (6 again rule) gases him out and he's no longer effective. 
Rule changes and speed of the game has gone past him."
11 hours ago
Zip zip replied to ParramattaLurker's discussion Round 3 Team List v St George Illawarra Dragons
"Our strongest side all year.
Penisini and JDB haven't been up to scratch."
12 hours ago
Prof. Daz replied to ParramattaLurker's discussion Round 3 Team List v St George Illawarra Dragons
"In 2025 the Dragons had 15 of their 24 matches where the margin was 8 points or less. That's 2/3 of their games being close (whether Dragons won or lose). 
Probably gonna be a close game?"
12 hours ago
Poppa replied to LB's discussion 1EE All-time Eels team: Fullback
"This an extract from Parra Pete originally produced on TCT....it is recorded here just to give our members some feel of the 1960's and the emergence of Australia in the game.
The powerbase of Rugby League throughout Australia, New Zealand, England…"
13 hours ago
Poppa replied to LB's discussion 1EE All-time Eels team: Fullback
"Khalif ..... Average baseline, I would prefer you don't comment, if you didn't know that baseline was the 1963 Kangeroo side, the greatest in the history of the game."
14 hours ago
LB replied to ParramattaLurker's discussion Round 3 Team List v St George Illawarra Dragons
"One thing Dragons don't have is the talent and freakish skills to create something from nothing. They can grind, belt the shit out of you but when it comes to sealing those tight contests late they lack the talent to do it most times."
14 hours ago
Poppa replied to LB's discussion 1EE All-time Eels team: Fullback
"My Grand Pa (actually he was called Pop), took me to the races.....of course I loved that, nearly as much as watching Ken Thornett play for Parra.
Super's Grandad was right, Langlands went into the centres to accomodate Thornett at fullback, Les…"
14 hours ago
Prof. Daz replied to Cʜɪᴇғy Mclovin 🐐's discussion VEGAS - HERE WE COME !!!! & its not the Storm !
"It's Mitchy's fault. Ban Mitchy!!!"
14 hours ago
Cʜɪᴇғy Mclovin 🐐 replied to LB's discussion 1EE All-time Eels team: Fullback
"John, the hardest workers can find half an hour of time to participate in what their interests.  We don't all work 14 hrs a day old mate, although with the current cost of living,  Albanese expects the average Australian to work 18 hours.   "
14 hours ago
Parra_Greg replied to LB's discussion 1EE All-time Eels team: Fullback
"Ken Thornett every day of the week"
14 hours ago
steveeel replied to ParramattaLurker's discussion Round 3 Team List v St George Illawarra Dragons
"One thing's for sure, a fleet footed player like Iongi or Moses will easily get around Gutherson one on one at speed. He's got limited lateral movement. ...and having to turn and chase 😂😂"
14 hours ago
Hector Bob Down replied to LB's discussion 1EE All-time Eels team: Fullback
"Ken thornett with out a doubt "
15 hours ago
Khalif replied to LB's discussion 1EE All-time Eels team: Fullback
"Ken Thornett 
Great attacker in an otherwise average baseline at the time. Better defender and team player than Hayne. 
Inspired those around him and didn't collect  any wooden spoons for the club like jarryd did. "
15 hours ago
paul taylor replied to ParramattaLurker's discussion Round 3 Team List v St George Illawarra Dragons
"Funny team St George. They show some grit and can score tries but cant go the full 80 minutes in games.  I think we need to straighten our attack , send our big boys at their halves and create ruck speed and six agains by taking off with our two…"
15 hours ago
More…

Keaon done deal

As of Thursday, December 11, 2025, South Sydney Rabbitohs forwardKeaon Koloamatangi has reportedly agreed to a deal with the Parramatta Eels, but it is not yet officially announced by the clubs.  Soon to be announced.

Read more…
14 Replies · Reply by Poppa Jan 9
Views: 2212

 

1EE All-time Eels team: Fullback

Ok so i have decided to do an all-time team with modern day included. The way i will do it is limited to nominees, particulaly with less modern day players as since they have been chosen in other survey's no point in adding others. For example, no…

Read more…
23 Replies · Reply by Khalif 10 hours ago
Views: 429

<script src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js"></script>
<!-- Sidebar -->
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<script>// <![CDATA[
(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});
// ]]></script>