Joke of the week

Man and he wife sitting watching tv then Lady go oh my God i pain in the belly she goes again oh my God i got a pain in the belly 

Husband say to the dr there is a new dr just two house down from here go to see him and tell them you in pain

So she does then about half hour later she come back slammed the door and throws her self down

And her husband say did you get bad news

She said NO i didnt the dr told me to take off all my clothes off lay down on the table with my legs open 

He was looking between my legs and said gee that looks nice i like to full that up with ice-cream and lick it all up so i jumped up and got dressed come home

The husband said.. DID HE SAY THAT THE DIRTY CUNT WILL IM GOING TO SEE HIM ABOUT THAT

as he walk to the door he stop and thinking for a sec and then he walk back and sat down next to hes wife she looked at at him and said

I throught you were going to see the dr

The husband said ye i was but any man can eat that much ice-cream is to big for me

You need to be a member of 1Eyed Eel to add comments!

Join 1Eyed Eel

Votes: 0
Email me when people reply –

Replies

  • This reply was deleted.
    • I love that joke. I have been saying for 20 years it never got popular but always gets a laugh.

  • Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife. "You come to the front door of the apartment. I am in apartment 301. There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 301. I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow, push 3. When you get out, I'm on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell."

    "Grandma, that sounds easy but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?

    “What... You're coming empty handed

    • The worst joke I've ever heard 

      • You needed to understand Arnie Colin, Arnie was slightly challenged but had a wonderful self depracating sense of humour, a bit like Wiz asking his wife for an extra 50 under the curtain in the massage parlour......true story!

        • O K poppa but still the worst joke .one of the best I thought was the bloke not wanting to go in the army and got under what he thought was the nuns dress .

          • Yes, forgot about that one!.....Arnie probably does not have classic's as much as being so bad that you cannot help but laugh! Lol

      • maybe something to your taste Colin

        10892673675?profile=RESIZE_584x

        • 10892673495?profile=RESIZE_710x

  • https://youtube.com/shorts/w7Q5x6W0VVg?feature=share

    There's a million of these ...

     

     

  • This is one of my all time favourites 

     

     Danny cannot make his wife orgasm, so he goes to the doctor for some advice...

    He goes to the doctor and says, "Look, I just can't bring my wife to orgasm in bed, it's a real problem."

    The doctor says, "Well, is it too warm?"

    "Yes, it's absolutely sweltering"

    "Then get an air conditioner"

    "I can't afford air conditioner doc, I'm too poor"

    "Well, Danny, do you have a good friend, I mean a real close friend?"

    "Yeah, I've got a close friend, Frank"

    "Well, ask your friend Frank to stand over you and your wife with a towel, wafting you both to cool you down, that might help."

    So, Danny asks Frank for this favor, who then agrees to help him. That night, Danny is in bed with his wife, pounding away with Frank fanning them with the towel but it's doing nothing for her.

    Danny says, "Well this isn't working, let's swap." So Danny takes the towel and starts wafting Frank, who is now making love to Danny's wife. Not long after, Danny's wife goes "Oooh... oh that's it, I'm about to cum, I'm going to cum!" And has the biggest squirt you've ever seen. 

    Frank and Danny's wife both look awkwardly at Danny , then a after a uncomfortable silence ,

    Danny shouts, triumphantly, "You see, Frank?! That's how you waft a fucking towel!"

This reply was deleted.

Latest comments

Mallee57 replied to Diggs for PM's discussion Spence
"Hope he's not too ExSpencive"
30 minutes ago
Mallee57 replied to Diggs for PM's discussion Spence
"I Suspencered as much "
32 minutes ago
fishbulb replied to Diggs for PM's discussion Spence
"What a great pick up. We're signing Bruce Spence!"
1 hour ago
Richard B'Stard replied to Cʜɪᴇғy Mclovin's discussion Mark O’Neill Keep or Out - The ultimate Vote
"Out.Bring back Crusher and Peter Nolan!"
2 hours ago
Gaz Nelson replied to Cʜɪᴇғy Mclovin's discussion Mark O’Neill Keep or Out - The ultimate Vote
"The record speaks for itself as far as retention and attracting new talent, OUT.
That said something things need to change, there's not a lot to work with for any HoF with when it comes to positioning Parra as a top destination for players in…"
2 hours ago
Michael W. replied to Cʜɪᴇғy Mclovin's discussion Mark O’Neill Keep or Out - The ultimate Vote
"You're taking it out of context. The journos get nothing, regarding recruitment, out of MON. We have been like that for a few years, no leaks."
2 hours ago
HH - Love You Iongi Time! replied to Diggs for PM's discussion Spence
"How much time did he Spence touring the facility?"
2 hours ago
Randy Handlinger replied to Hell On Eels's discussion Moderation Note: Forum Standards
"lighten up a bit"
2 hours ago
The Captain replied to Diggs for PM's discussion Spence
"This is a very su-spence-ful post."
2 hours ago
Kurupt - Your Mums Favourite Thug replied to Diggs for PM's discussion Spence
"Spencer"
2 hours ago
Kurupt - Your Mums Favourite Thug replied to Cʜɪᴇғy Mclovin's discussion Mark O’Neill Keep or Out - The ultimate Vote
"Out"
2 hours ago
Mannah-Brow replied to Cʜɪᴇғy Mclovin's discussion Mark O’Neill Keep or Out - The ultimate Vote
"Out 
 "
3 hours ago
Randy Handlinger replied to Cʜɪᴇғy Mclovin's discussion Mark O’Neill Keep or Out - The ultimate Vote
"Blood in the Water"
3 hours ago
Mallee57 replied to Diggs for PM's discussion Spence
"Whose Spence ? "
3 hours ago
LB replied to Diggs for PM's discussion Spence
"Nah he just said "I have a 3 year deal with Parra" they considered that worse than a 15 year sentence in prison, so they just let him go."
3 hours ago
Randy Handlinger replied to Diggs for PM's discussion Spence
"Only way he could get outta prison"
3 hours ago
More…

Keaon done deal

As of Thursday, December 11, 2025, South Sydney Rabbitohs forwardKeaon Koloamatangi has reportedly agreed to a deal with the Parramatta Eels, but it is not yet officially announced by the clubs.  Soon to be announced.

Read more…
14 Replies · Reply by Poppa Jan 9
Views: 2434

 

Spence

It's been a while. the Spence touring our centre of excellence today. I heard we are signing him before June 30 for 26-27 only. He wants a PNG contract. Not sure if we should bother. Thoughts?

Read more…
11 Replies · Reply by Mallee57 30 minutes ago
Views: 351

Spirits crushed

Spirits crushed.. just looking at all the teams in the comp compared to us and Fmd.Newcastle wooden spooners now playing amazing footy and tigers 3 wooden spoons in a row and at full strength brilliant.Just looking at all the shit teams in the last…

Read more…
19 Replies · Reply by Randy Handlinger 7 hours ago
Views: 694

<script src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js"></script>
<!-- Sidebar -->
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<script>// <![CDATA[
(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});
// ]]></script>