Joke of the week

Man and he wife sitting watching tv then Lady go oh my God i pain in the belly she goes again oh my God i got a pain in the belly 

Husband say to the dr there is a new dr just two house down from here go to see him and tell them you in pain

So she does then about half hour later she come back slammed the door and throws her self down

And her husband say did you get bad news

She said NO i didnt the dr told me to take off all my clothes off lay down on the table with my legs open 

He was looking between my legs and said gee that looks nice i like to full that up with ice-cream and lick it all up so i jumped up and got dressed come home

The husband said.. DID HE SAY THAT THE DIRTY CUNT WILL IM GOING TO SEE HIM ABOUT THAT

as he walk to the door he stop and thinking for a sec and then he walk back and sat down next to hes wife she looked at at him and said

I throught you were going to see the dr

The husband said ye i was but any man can eat that much ice-cream is to big for me

You need to be a member of 1Eyed Eel to add comments!

Join 1Eyed Eel

Votes: 0
Email me when people reply –

Replies

  • This reply was deleted.
    • I love that joke. I have been saying for 20 years it never got popular but always gets a laugh.

  • Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife. "You come to the front door of the apartment. I am in apartment 301. There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 301. I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow, push 3. When you get out, I'm on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell."

    "Grandma, that sounds easy but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?

    “What... You're coming empty handed

    • The worst joke I've ever heard 

      • You needed to understand Arnie Colin, Arnie was slightly challenged but had a wonderful self depracating sense of humour, a bit like Wiz asking his wife for an extra 50 under the curtain in the massage parlour......true story!

        • O K poppa but still the worst joke .one of the best I thought was the bloke not wanting to go in the army and got under what he thought was the nuns dress .

          • Yes, forgot about that one!.....Arnie probably does not have classic's as much as being so bad that you cannot help but laugh! Lol

      • maybe something to your taste Colin

        10892673675?profile=RESIZE_584x

        • 10892673495?profile=RESIZE_710x

  • https://youtube.com/shorts/w7Q5x6W0VVg?feature=share

    There's a million of these ...

     

     

  • This is one of my all time favourites 

     

     Danny cannot make his wife orgasm, so he goes to the doctor for some advice...

    He goes to the doctor and says, "Look, I just can't bring my wife to orgasm in bed, it's a real problem."

    The doctor says, "Well, is it too warm?"

    "Yes, it's absolutely sweltering"

    "Then get an air conditioner"

    "I can't afford air conditioner doc, I'm too poor"

    "Well, Danny, do you have a good friend, I mean a real close friend?"

    "Yeah, I've got a close friend, Frank"

    "Well, ask your friend Frank to stand over you and your wife with a towel, wafting you both to cool you down, that might help."

    So, Danny asks Frank for this favor, who then agrees to help him. That night, Danny is in bed with his wife, pounding away with Frank fanning them with the towel but it's doing nothing for her.

    Danny says, "Well this isn't working, let's swap." So Danny takes the towel and starts wafting Frank, who is now making love to Danny's wife. Not long after, Danny's wife goes "Oooh... oh that's it, I'm about to cum, I'm going to cum!" And has the biggest squirt you've ever seen. 

    Frank and Danny's wife both look awkwardly at Danny , then a after a uncomfortable silence ,

    Danny shouts, triumphantly, "You see, Frank?! That's how you waft a fucking towel!"

This reply was deleted.

Latest comments

TolEllts replied to Pato's discussion Jack Williams
"Unfortunately Macy, it seems those objectives are not in the Eels R&R DNA basing on experience and the players we have let go. An example is we are requesting Melbourne for Utoikamanu for Lomax when he was a born and breed Parra junior but was let…"
9 minutes ago
LB replied to Pato's discussion Jack Williams
"One silver lining is a few spots would be taken up from PNG players.
But did anyone hear the arrogance of Chammas saying clubs shouldn't complain as PNG being successful is good for the game. Absolute smugness."
10 minutes ago
fake midget pseudoachondroplasia replied to Pato's discussion Jack Williams
"The talent scouts for all clubs attend the same league, rugby and 7 tournaments. We identified Dylan brown and bought him over from NZ as a teenager and we have some kids from the bush in our pathways and NRL. I remember eels signing a talked about…"
16 minutes ago
EA replied to Pato's discussion Jack Williams
"Yea Petrus if he stays with the club."
49 minutes ago
Yehez replied to Pato's discussion Jack Williams
"No need to keep Williams beyond his current contract."
56 minutes ago
fake midget pseudoachondroplasia replied to Pato's discussion Jack Williams
"This is just the start.  Lots of agents have timed contracts with PNG entering to use them and increased money on offer to drive up contract values. Penrith have a heap of massive names off contract in 2028. I think it will be the biggest year in…"
1 hour ago
Poppa replied to Pato's discussion Jack Williams
"Yes, that is true EA and possibly (I certainly dont know) a reason for Stephano not carrying through his potential with us."
1 hour ago
LB replied to Pato's discussion Jack Williams
"We have Su'A til 2029 so only need one back-rower but surely it's Petrus. He could debut this year."
1 hour ago
EA replied to Pato's discussion Jack Williams
"One thing to consider with Stefano was that his brother was medically retired due to an injury on the field and I am pretty sure the club and his family had some disagreements over insurances or money. So we kind of pissed them off lol"
1 hour ago
EA replied to Pato's discussion Jack Williams
"Petrus could easily be ready for the NRL next year in 2027. Don't need to look at 2028. As you said, sometimes we won't be able to do anything to keep him because we can't give him the money or honour of representing his heritage. But if we are…"
1 hour ago
EA replied to ParramattaLurker's discussion Round 9 Team List v New Zealand Warriors
"well he won't be fit till next year since it's acl but yes he has lots of potential but injuries are preventing him from reaching it"
2 hours ago
SuperEel 22 replied to Pato's discussion Jack Williams
"The first thing the PNG team did before anything else was pinch Joey Grima from us. He's a development pathways expert and has been with them since 2023."
2 hours ago
LB replied to Pato's discussion Jack Williams
"I believe I heard that the PNG PM wanted at least 30-40% of the squad to be PNG players. Could be wrong but that was a big thing he asked for and it makes sense."
2 hours ago
LB replied to Pato's discussion Jack Williams
"But after 10 years, if a new government, then we will see what happens."
2 hours ago
LB replied to Pato's discussion Jack Williams
"I have private health and it was brainwashed into me by my parents. Glad my wife and I have it. With both us having surgery and when little one was born we spent the week in the hospital as wife had some issues after and I was able to stay the whole…"
2 hours ago
The Badger replied to Pato's discussion Jack Williams
"I'm thinking that at least some of their squad will be locals and as such have to pay PNG tax. 
Will this lead to resentment in the ranks? Rhetorical question as nobody really knows. "
2 hours ago
More…

Keaon done deal

As of Thursday, December 11, 2025, South Sydney Rabbitohs forwardKeaon Koloamatangi has reportedly agreed to a deal with the Parramatta Eels, but it is not yet officially announced by the clubs.  Soon to be announced.

Read more…
14 Replies · Reply by Poppa Jan 9
Views: 2384

 

Jake Clifford?

Been a fan of this bloke for sometime.Strong kicking game,solid pass selection,good in the air and hard runner close to the line.With cows meeting with CHT and if they get him.Itll prob squeeze out cliffo.He'd actually go well with Moses I…

Read more…
21 Replies · Reply by Rabz S 6 hours ago
Views: 916

Parra 2027 2028 2029

Our ceiling is prtty limited for these yearsWhat can we really do next year?Not muchEven with a full squad sideEven with Seal Russell leaving (a big big up)Even with One signing8th would be over performing for 2027.Ryles will be either signed or…

Read more…
5 Replies · Reply by Parra_Greg on Tuesday
Views: 881

<script src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js"></script>
<!-- Sidebar -->
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<script>// <![CDATA[
(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});
// ]]></script>