Bali ?

Let me start by saying , I've never , ever wanted to go to this stinking Indonesian cesspool in my life. But now a bunch of the wife's pals have got into her head about a group holiday and I've been roped into agreeing to go. 

All I know is I don't want to stay in Kuta or anywhere there is a bunch of fuckwit Aussies being loud fuckwits , but I do want somewhere I can walk out of my hotel and have a drink and watch the footy etc without the town being a ghostown when the streetlights go out. Indians grabbing me and trying to sell me shit walking down the street doesn't phase me , just fuckwit tourists do. 

Anyone got any recommendations of hotels and areas ?  I'd honestiy rather go to Mt Druit for a holiday , so would love someone to assure me they have a particular location I'm going to love.  

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    • Don't go the Villa route Wiz, you will miss the magic, Villa you may as well have everyone around to your house for a pool party.

      • Pretty much exactly my thoughts. I've seen some photos of houses they're looking at and they are amazing. But I like to people watch idiots in the resort and make up imaginary conversations they're having for my own amusement. People watching is one of my favourite holiday pastimes. Never been one for the private house rental idea on any overseas  holiday .  We did do it once in Koh Samui , but that was just our family and another who are like sibling close to us and the kids were young so we wanted our own private pool and shit so we could leave them in and not have to sit by the pool all day for them to swim.  Had a little waterslide and kiddies play shit , so worked for us then. Didn't need a chef as it was central with eating and bars all around us . It was cool, but again, it was super central so we could go out drinking ( the two dads ) or ( the two mums ) or ( couple ) and the other two parents could stay behind with the kids.  

        Going to a location I have no idea what the areas going to be like ( crime or location ) I'd rather a resort . 

        • Have they made a booking? if they haven't then have a look at Luxury Escapes.....some really good deals that are seasonly coming about.

          Unless you are going with Bogans, stay away from Legian.

          Show them my posts, I have been to Bali 40 to 50 times.

          • No nothing booked as yet . I've used Luxury escapes and Scoopon before for travel. Both great. I've found Scoopon to be really good as they're usually hotels that are either brand new , have been redeveloped or are in an up and comming location and the hotels are wanting to really impress to get that word of mouth going. You get heaps of bonus's added to your deal so you can come home and rave about the hotel. Last time we stayed at one called the Sunwing at Kamala beach Phuket , freinds also stayed there and booked through an agent, paid about 25% more  and we had free daily meals drinks , daily massages , and an upgrade to the suite , and they got sweet fark all. Awesome location if you ever decide to venture back to phuket  exactly what I'm after in a location. Had everything at your door you'd need but just a tiny little town in comparison to Patong. Probably not an old farts type of hotel being a family orintated one  , but Kamala beach location  is the best. 

            • That 10 hours flight time to Phuket gets to me these days, one of the reasons Iike Bali, I can watch a half season of game of thrones on the way over and usually half sleep on the way home....10 minutes (literally) from the Airport to Kartika Plaza, probably 25/30 minutes into Nusa Dua, same going the otherway to Seminyak,traffic problems to Seminyak and Ubud are now horrendous! If you don't like tourists don't go to Ubud, which was once beautiful heading inland.

  • Well if I have learnt one thing from this blog it is. Wiz may wear the pants in the Wiz household but it's Mrs Wiz who says which ones he allowed wear. ;) 

    An interesting antidote. The last time I was in Bali on a group holiday some years ago, one of the friends in the group informed one of the other friends of the group who's Mrs was not in attendance that she was having an affair with another friend of the group who also conveniently not in attendance. Things became very interesting after that. Good times...

    • When I wear pants mate .... 😂. 

      Really , so wait, lemme get this one straight . So a bloke who didn't take his mrs to Bali was having it off with a bird in your group who also didn't take her bloke to Bali ?  And one of your crew broke the news to the bloke who's Mrs was rooting around ? 


      or the bloke who's Mrs was rooting around went to Bali with your group but his mrs stayed home , and so did the bloke who was the partner of the chick who also went to Bali with the group ? 

      need clarification broseph.  

       

      • Ok so this is what happened. 

        One mate, whom we shall call "Simon," and another mate, "David," were both committed to going on the trip. About a month before we left, "Simon's" wife pulled out because she had work commitments, and "David" pulled out because he, too, had something that he couldn't get out of but his wife still wanted to come along. 

        In the meantime, in the age of flip phones and lack of facial ID and Passwords, David's wife had done some phone sleuthing and worked out he was having an off-the-books shag fest with Simons's wife.   

        Fast Forward to the holiday, and we are at some restaurant on the way to Ubud in the shadow of Mt Agung when Simon started moaning on about his wife and wondering if she was potentially having an affair when David's wife let it rip and let the cat out of the bag that his wife had been rooting her husband and that they were likely back home rooting right at that minute and that he should stop moaning and enjoy his holiday. 

        She was so blunt and to the point that it was uncomfortable, shocking, and hilarious all at once.

        That began a flurry of phone calls backwards and forwards home to OZ, with other women on the trip trying to mediate. For me it was like watching Big Brother, Dr Phil and Jerry Springer all in one.   

        • Wow .... that's awesome. Not for them , but for the entertainment.  All I can say it WOW( in Gould voice ).  Was " Simon " upset with " David''s " wife for keeping it a secret from him ? Or were they not close friends ?  

          mate I'd pay good money to be at that dinner when she let that rip 😂😂

          • Simon went through the 7 stages of grief daily for the rest of the trip. He had moments where he accused the group of withholding it from him. ( except for me, because I was on active duty at that stage.)

            In hindsight, he had probably suspected it for a while, but he hadn't realised how close it was to home or how calculated and orchestrated the lie was.

            Simon was a strapping fella, and Bali was a literal meat market for the 20-somethings back then. I couldn't determine why he didn't saddle up and get on a different horse. 

            They ended up staying together for another five years and had one of those babies meant to cure their marriage woes. It ultimately ended badly, this time with a kid mixed in. 

            On the other hand, Dave's wife carried it like a champ! She told Dave to f@*k off and found herself another fella. 

             

             

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