Social Blogs

An interview with the Man On The Hill

Posted by Parramanaic on February 9, 2019 at 1:17pm in Humour

Me: Well, I'm excited that I have finally secured an interview with a passionate eels supporter, the man on the hill. How are ya?

Man on the Hill: How the (bleep) you think I'm doing? I'm bored shitless with the (bleep) cricket. Jesus on a paddle pop stick. Seriously, even an under 12 could've (bleep) beaten those (bleep) Sri Lankans.

Me: Hey, footy is only around the corner so you must excited?

MOTH: I'll be more (bleep) excited when I get get this (bleep) wooden (bleep) spoon taken out from my (bleep) anus.

Me: Uh...you had since the Grand Final to have that removed?

MOTH: Well...it was...well...kinda comforting...especially when you're having a dump. King (bleep) Kong would've loved it. Bit hard to get that first pain but hey, like that (bleep) said to me in Kings Cross before I got the crabs off her "the foreskin doesn't hurt"...or was it a him that I screwed...(bleep) trannyis look all the same to me...she did have a mo to begin with, maybe that explains the hairy chest...

Me: uhhhh okay then...moving on...so, how you do see this season going to go for Parra?

MOTH: Dunno (slurps his Fosters then lets out a belch) better out then in, eh? Yeah, reckon we'll do (bleep) okay. Reckon we'll make past 14th, maybe 13th? (slurps his Fosters then proceeds to scratch his bum before smelling his finger) smells like that (bleep) curry I had (bleep) last night...dunno, had a chat with me (bleep) mate last night about this season, yeah? He (bleep) reckons that (bleep bleep) BA will be sacked 'fore the year is over and reckons that Jack Shitt take over.

Me: Who?

MOTH: Jack Shitt. He used to be our coach in volleyball back in our young days. Man, he can (bleep) coach. Mate, that (bleep) can (bleep) coach. He was a great (bleep) of a  (bleep) coach. Used ta (bleep) the (bleep) cheerleaders (bleep) silly. Ride them like a (bleep) cowboy he did

Me: You swear a lot?

MOTH: Go and (bleep) your self you (bleep) goat (bleep)er I can (bleep) swear if I (bleep) want to you (bleep bleep) Now me (bleep) beer is empty. Git us another one you (bleep) fore I (bleep) punch ya (bleep) silly.

Me: Yeah okay then...so, ummm..who'll be our best player this year?

MOTH: (Bleep) if I (bleep) know...where's me (bleep) beer (bleep)?

Me: I have no idea where this interview is going...

MOTH: You know I was there with Haynesy shagged that (bleep)?

Me: You were?

MOTH: Yeah, I was (bleep) cheering him on, mate. Few lines of the old (bleep) marching powder up our noses and off he (bleep) went like old Mother Hubburb's dog when she bent over. In like Flynn he...

Me: okay, okay, that's enough...you had too much...

MOTH: (Bleep) off you hairy arsed (bleep) what are ya, a (bleep) hippie or a poof. Bet ya (bleep) married your (bleep) boyfriend, didn't ya, ya big (bleep) poof? Git us another one 'fore I (bleep) smash yah!

Me: Hey, hey, hey calm down...hey, put that hammer down...no not my-

 

INTERVIEW TERMINATED WHEN M.O.T.H. SMASHED TAPE RECORDER....

 

 

Views: 168

You need to be a member of 1Eyed Eel to add comments!

Join 1Eyed Eel

★
★
★
★
★
Votes: 0
Email me when people reply –
Follow

Latest comments

JC replied to Muttman's discussion Apa Twidle signs with the Bears
"It's a contract that the player isn't locked into but the club is,  so yes, from the players perspective he is off contract but from the clubs perspective they are locked into a contract.  A bad situation for a club to be in because it's a lose,…"
13 minutes ago
Parra_Greg replied to Hector Bob Down's discussion Is the Game getting to fast with all the changes
"Im an old fart  "Hector Bob Down" but I agree ...not only is the game structurally fucked the rules are ruining RUGBY LEAGUE....but I get it times change and maybe the game now is the most lucrative ..........fans , ratings etc...means more MONEY…"
34 minutes ago
Parra_Greg replied to Clintorian's discussion Jenkins to the Eels?
"Milky! Im defo on board .....no disrespect....... Thomas is a great player ......."
44 minutes ago
Prof. Daz replied to Muttman's discussion Apa Twidle signs with the Bears
"NOS, I agree DB leaving was a failure to adequately secure a position (5/8). The player options were bad ideas but it's also true DB did not reciprocate the faith and trust placed in him. 
Good find above. I stand by it. We know I didn't say he was…"
1 hour ago
Prof. Daz replied to Clintorian's discussion Jenkins to the Eels?
"Who remembers the constant refrain on 1EE that the club is hopeless because they pay overs? My bet is the same folks who played worlds greatest contract and cap manager in lampooning the club for paying overs, are now hoping we buy their sincerity…"
1 hour ago
LB replied to Clintorian's discussion Jenkins to the Eels?
"Though if you are to overpay it's for players that can make more of a difference. Keaon I didn't mind paying slight overs for as middles are so important today. But you also do not want to go too over the top as it puts your cap out of wrack and you…"
1 hour ago
LB replied to Clintorian's discussion Jenkins to the Eels?
"But he hasn't in open age if at all. All well and good playing it at school, we are not in the place to start trialling him at 6 anytime soon. He would be coming to play Centre/Wing. No extra value, Parra aren't going to offer an extra $100k cause…"
1 hour ago
Prof. Daz replied to Muttman's discussion Apa Twidle signs with the Bears
"Poupou, you are talking yourself in circles.
1) The RLPA definition defines player options as NOT part of the terms of the contract. 2) Brown's player options were options for him to leave and/or ask for more money. Literally. 3) Browns contract…"
1 hour ago
Blue Eel replied to Clintorian's discussion Jenkins to the Eels?
"Love that quote LB. 
I'm over buying clubs leftovers when we miss our first choice targets, though.
Lets put this into perspective.
Last 5 years we have made the top 4 once.
Last 10 years we have made the top 4, 3 times
Last 15 years we have made…"
1 hour ago
LB replied to Clintorian's discussion Jenkins to the Eels?
"How is it when we have Iongi signed til 2030? There is no way around the fact he is the future.
As long as you have teams having spots open that offer more money you'll have players looking for a path to play where they want."
2 hours ago
Prof. Daz replied to ParramattaLurker's discussion Round 8 Team List v Manly Warringah Sea Eagles (Anzac Round)
"The 38 points the Eels scored against the Dogs was the most any team has scored against the Dogs. Same as the 20 the Eels scored against the Panthers was the most Panthers conceded up yo that Round 4. 
Vs Manly if will come down to defense. Stop…"
2 hours ago
Poupou Escobar replied to Muttman's discussion Apa Twidle signs with the Bears
"He's off contract until/if he activates the player option. The PO only comes into play if he takes it up, as the RLPA statement makes clear. It's not an option to leave or speak to other clubs. That's a given, because the player is off contract. The…"
2 hours ago
LB replied to Clintorian's discussion Jenkins to the Eels?
"But we shouldn't be stupid and pay too much over."
2 hours ago
Longfin Eel replied to Clintorian's discussion Jenkins to the Eels?
"Forget about Moses' prime. We need a solution that is sustainable year in year out.
Agreed on young players needing to knock the door down. With only one Origin quality player, any position is up for grabs if the player is good enough. If they…"
2 hours ago
Clintorian replied to Clintorian's discussion Jenkins to the Eels?
"Richard Penisini and Nanva, that's it.. Developing centers and wingers are our biggest weakness."
2 hours ago
Coryn Hughes replied to Clintorian's discussion Jenkins to the Eels?
"I think the blocking paths bit is a bit of an over used term to be fair.
Unless you are an aspiring Halfback or Fullback I think pretty much whomever we bring in you have to see it as a challenge to unseat the potential starter that's what we really…"
2 hours ago
More…

Social Blogs

Keaon done deal

As of Thursday, December 11, 2025, South Sydney Rabbitohs forwardKeaon Koloamatangi has reportedly agreed to a deal with the Parramatta Eels, but it is not yet officially announced by the clubs.  Soon to be announced.

Read more…
Started by Aj in Sports
14 Replies · Reply by Poppa Jan 9
Views: 2367

 

Eels Blogs

Jenkins to the Eels?

Some early Friday morning scuttlebutt on Facebook saying Eels have made an offer to sign Thomas Jenkins from the Panthers. I really have no idea if this is true or the validity behind the rumours, but this is a signing I can definitely get behind.…

Read more…
Started by Clintorian
75 Replies · Reply by Parra_Greg 44 minutes ago
Views: 2044

Araz Nanva signs Top 30 Contract for 2027

The Parramatta Eels are pleased to announce that emerging outside back Araz Nanva has extended his contract with the club for a further year and will be elevated to the Top 30 squad for the 2027 NRL season.An Eels junior, Nanva’s extension comes on…

Read more…
Started by EA
42 Replies · Reply by EA 14 hours ago
Views: 1414

<script src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js"></script>
<!-- Sidebar -->
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<script>// <![CDATA[
(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});
// ]]></script>