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An interview with the Man On The Hill

Posted by Parramanaic on February 9, 2019 at 1:17pm in Humour

Me: Well, I'm excited that I have finally secured an interview with a passionate eels supporter, the man on the hill. How are ya?

Man on the Hill: How the (bleep) you think I'm doing? I'm bored shitless with the (bleep) cricket. Jesus on a paddle pop stick. Seriously, even an under 12 could've (bleep) beaten those (bleep) Sri Lankans.

Me: Hey, footy is only around the corner so you must excited?

MOTH: I'll be more (bleep) excited when I get get this (bleep) wooden (bleep) spoon taken out from my (bleep) anus.

Me: Uh...you had since the Grand Final to have that removed?

MOTH: Well...it was...well...kinda comforting...especially when you're having a dump. King (bleep) Kong would've loved it. Bit hard to get that first pain but hey, like that (bleep) said to me in Kings Cross before I got the crabs off her "the foreskin doesn't hurt"...or was it a him that I screwed...(bleep) trannyis look all the same to me...she did have a mo to begin with, maybe that explains the hairy chest...

Me: uhhhh okay then...moving on...so, how you do see this season going to go for Parra?

MOTH: Dunno (slurps his Fosters then lets out a belch) better out then in, eh? Yeah, reckon we'll do (bleep) okay. Reckon we'll make past 14th, maybe 13th? (slurps his Fosters then proceeds to scratch his bum before smelling his finger) smells like that (bleep) curry I had (bleep) last night...dunno, had a chat with me (bleep) mate last night about this season, yeah? He (bleep) reckons that (bleep bleep) BA will be sacked 'fore the year is over and reckons that Jack Shitt take over.

Me: Who?

MOTH: Jack Shitt. He used to be our coach in volleyball back in our young days. Man, he can (bleep) coach. Mate, that (bleep) can (bleep) coach. He was a great (bleep) of a  (bleep) coach. Used ta (bleep) the (bleep) cheerleaders (bleep) silly. Ride them like a (bleep) cowboy he did

Me: You swear a lot?

MOTH: Go and (bleep) your self you (bleep) goat (bleep)er I can (bleep) swear if I (bleep) want to you (bleep bleep) Now me (bleep) beer is empty. Git us another one you (bleep) fore I (bleep) punch ya (bleep) silly.

Me: Yeah okay then...so, ummm..who'll be our best player this year?

MOTH: (Bleep) if I (bleep) know...where's me (bleep) beer (bleep)?

Me: I have no idea where this interview is going...

MOTH: You know I was there with Haynesy shagged that (bleep)?

Me: You were?

MOTH: Yeah, I was (bleep) cheering him on, mate. Few lines of the old (bleep) marching powder up our noses and off he (bleep) went like old Mother Hubburb's dog when she bent over. In like Flynn he...

Me: okay, okay, that's enough...you had too much...

MOTH: (Bleep) off you hairy arsed (bleep) what are ya, a (bleep) hippie or a poof. Bet ya (bleep) married your (bleep) boyfriend, didn't ya, ya big (bleep) poof? Git us another one 'fore I (bleep) smash yah!

Me: Hey, hey, hey calm down...hey, put that hammer down...no not my-

 

INTERVIEW TERMINATED WHEN M.O.T.H. SMASHED TAPE RECORDER....

 

 

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Poppa replied to Poppa's discussion Poppa's Corner: SCAPEGOATS..... A funny thing, you can say it with a cry in your voice!......The Parra Lament
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12 minutes ago
Poppa replied to Poppa's discussion Poppa's Corner: SCAPEGOATS..... A funny thing, you can say it with a cry in your voice!......The Parra Lament
"Yes, I wasn't fair to you in that reply, basically just used you as a vehicle to admonish Chiefy for his continuing attempts to remain relevant in a discussion that is out of his "reign" 
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18 minutes ago
fake midget pseudoachondroplasia replied to Die hard eels Supporter's discussion Just heard on triple M whisper that Eels and Dragons are monitoring the Luke Metcalf situation at the warriors
"From Facebook but is a common theme amongst players now demanding to play a certain position.  He isn't leaving warriors for us to play 6."
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LB replied to Poppa's discussion Poppa's Corner: SCAPEGOATS..... A funny thing, you can say it with a cry in your voice!......The Parra Lament
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Nightmare Off-Season replied to Die hard eels Supporter's discussion Just heard on triple M whisper that Eels and Dragons are monitoring the Luke Metcalf situation at the warriors
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43 minutes ago
Nightmare Off-Season replied to Poppa's discussion Poppa's Corner: SCAPEGOATS..... A funny thing, you can say it with a cry in your voice!......The Parra Lament
"Daz,
Genuinely interested in yours & HOE’s / Supers take on some of these points.
 
I can understand your backing of the club, that is your opinion, but I can’t understand your defence of the Dylan Brown situation.
 
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48 minutes ago
Poppa replied to Poppa's discussion Poppa's Corner: SCAPEGOATS..... A funny thing, you can say it with a cry in your voice!......The Parra Lament
"Your on the right pathway LB.
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57 minutes ago
Poppa replied to Poppa's discussion Poppa's Corner: SCAPEGOATS..... A funny thing, you can say it with a cry in your voice!......The Parra Lament
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1 hour ago
Coryn Hughes replied to Die hard eels Supporter's discussion Just heard on triple M whisper that Eels and Dragons are monitoring the Luke Metcalf situation at the warriors
"This.
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1 hour ago
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1 hour ago
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1 hour ago
Poppa replied to Poppa's discussion Poppa's Corner: SCAPEGOATS..... A funny thing, you can say it with a cry in your voice!......The Parra Lament
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1 hour ago
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2 hours ago
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