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An interview with the Man On The Hill

Posted by Parramanaic on February 9, 2019 at 1:17pm in Humour

Me: Well, I'm excited that I have finally secured an interview with a passionate eels supporter, the man on the hill. How are ya?

Man on the Hill: How the (bleep) you think I'm doing? I'm bored shitless with the (bleep) cricket. Jesus on a paddle pop stick. Seriously, even an under 12 could've (bleep) beaten those (bleep) Sri Lankans.

Me: Hey, footy is only around the corner so you must excited?

MOTH: I'll be more (bleep) excited when I get get this (bleep) wooden (bleep) spoon taken out from my (bleep) anus.

Me: Uh...you had since the Grand Final to have that removed?

MOTH: Well...it was...well...kinda comforting...especially when you're having a dump. King (bleep) Kong would've loved it. Bit hard to get that first pain but hey, like that (bleep) said to me in Kings Cross before I got the crabs off her "the foreskin doesn't hurt"...or was it a him that I screwed...(bleep) trannyis look all the same to me...she did have a mo to begin with, maybe that explains the hairy chest...

Me: uhhhh okay then...moving on...so, how you do see this season going to go for Parra?

MOTH: Dunno (slurps his Fosters then lets out a belch) better out then in, eh? Yeah, reckon we'll do (bleep) okay. Reckon we'll make past 14th, maybe 13th? (slurps his Fosters then proceeds to scratch his bum before smelling his finger) smells like that (bleep) curry I had (bleep) last night...dunno, had a chat with me (bleep) mate last night about this season, yeah? He (bleep) reckons that (bleep bleep) BA will be sacked 'fore the year is over and reckons that Jack Shitt take over.

Me: Who?

MOTH: Jack Shitt. He used to be our coach in volleyball back in our young days. Man, he can (bleep) coach. Mate, that (bleep) can (bleep) coach. He was a great (bleep) of a  (bleep) coach. Used ta (bleep) the (bleep) cheerleaders (bleep) silly. Ride them like a (bleep) cowboy he did

Me: You swear a lot?

MOTH: Go and (bleep) your self you (bleep) goat (bleep)er I can (bleep) swear if I (bleep) want to you (bleep bleep) Now me (bleep) beer is empty. Git us another one you (bleep) fore I (bleep) punch ya (bleep) silly.

Me: Yeah okay then...so, ummm..who'll be our best player this year?

MOTH: (Bleep) if I (bleep) know...where's me (bleep) beer (bleep)?

Me: I have no idea where this interview is going...

MOTH: You know I was there with Haynesy shagged that (bleep)?

Me: You were?

MOTH: Yeah, I was (bleep) cheering him on, mate. Few lines of the old (bleep) marching powder up our noses and off he (bleep) went like old Mother Hubburb's dog when she bent over. In like Flynn he...

Me: okay, okay, that's enough...you had too much...

MOTH: (Bleep) off you hairy arsed (bleep) what are ya, a (bleep) hippie or a poof. Bet ya (bleep) married your (bleep) boyfriend, didn't ya, ya big (bleep) poof? Git us another one 'fore I (bleep) smash yah!

Me: Hey, hey, hey calm down...hey, put that hammer down...no not my-

 

INTERVIEW TERMINATED WHEN M.O.T.H. SMASHED TAPE RECORDER....

 

 

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Prof. Daz replied to Joel K's discussion Ryles on 2gb
"Again, Coryn, can you point to evidence of this "same style". It can't just be "similar results", as there are as many ways to lose as to win. You're 3rd paragraph is hard to understand. Are you saying the style is throw it around or that the style…"
7 minutes ago
Vasily Arkhipov replied to Parra-all-the-way's discussion Is it just me?
"Trombone. "
11 minutes ago
Prof. Daz replied to Joel K's discussion Ryles on 2gb
"Yes, JC, it makes more sense to refer to power forwards than try to make a small-mobile vs big-boy forward distinction. The height and weight of many second rowers leave them at least and often bigger than some props! Locks have also become low to…"
20 minutes ago
Coryn Hughes replied to Joel K's discussion Ryles on 2gb
"5 hit ups and kick.
You can see that can't you.
Have a look at the match replays we've adopted this for the last month of football.
I bet you we'll see alot of that this week also.
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24 minutes ago
Coryn Hughes replied to Joel K's discussion Ryles on 2gb
"💯 but we've tucked the ball away while doing so.
Thats actually smart with the injuries we have hanging in sometimes will steal you a game or 3 and that's exactly what it did against the Cows.
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28 minutes ago
Coryn Hughes replied to Joel K's discussion Ryles on 2gb
"All JR is doing is simplifying the game per what he has to use that's all it is.
But fans were down right filthy on the last coach for having a team play this way but yet it was a winning style.The bottom line here in the nrl well in any contact…"
32 minutes ago
JC replied to Joel K's discussion Ryles on 2gb
"Those backs you mentioned are taking advantage of the platform laid by the, let's call them power forwards as opposed to big forwards, the power forwards (strong, good leg speed ) are getting over the advantage line often with only one or two…"
36 minutes ago
Speech replied to Parra fan on The Hill's discussion Parra Juniors- Sanders v Talagi versing
"Sorry but Blaize left under Ryles "
40 minutes ago
Mitchy replied to Joel K's discussion Ryles on 2gb
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43 minutes ago
Randy Handlinger replied to Joel K's discussion Ryles on 2gb
"Defence being gassed makes it easier for the big boys to find a 1 on 1."
1 hour ago
LB replied to Parra fan on The Hill's discussion Parra Juniors- Sanders v Talagi versing
"Right, and Sanders and the club would have foreseen this? Simply hindsight that claim. When he signed his path was blocked. Moses 2 injury riddled seasons could not have been predicted enough for Sanders to stay."
1 hour ago
Poppa replied to Joel K's discussion Ryles on 2gb
"I understand and my first inclination is that must be right.....but it is not logical, the smaller more mobile forwards should be offering more in a faster game.
Does a good big man automatically beat the good little man.....maybe in one off's that…"
1 hour ago
Poppa replied to Joel K's discussion Ryles on 2gb
"Gee that's nice rhetoric FB but really changing the coach would be akin to rearranging the deckchairs. The coach is good enough, the players are not.....changing the equation via the players is a long and winding road.....pity we can't wait long…"
1 hour ago
Yehez replied to Fiddy's discussion Leave Samrani at centre
"No I think there is something there. Penisini can be a good finisher too, his main problem is the brain freezes in defence and some handling errors. On the wing these are less of a problem. "
1 hour ago
Poppa replied to Joel K's discussion Ryles on 2gb
"Yes Daz and I will put in another way Coryn.....easier enough to do btw
Your talking about poor defence in general with BA, no cover (except if DB was doing it) no scramble. Regularly overlapped, wingers could not mark up etc.....
Now the criticism…"
1 hour ago
JC replied to Joel K's discussion Ryles on 2gb
"This is not the way ryles intended the team to play, that was made very obvious with the style of fowards he preferred but since the nrl suddenly changed the way the game was officiated he has had to adapt. The smaller more mobile pack does not suit…"
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