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An interview with the Man On The Hill

Posted by Parramanaic on February 9, 2019 at 1:17pm in Humour

Me: Well, I'm excited that I have finally secured an interview with a passionate eels supporter, the man on the hill. How are ya?

Man on the Hill: How the (bleep) you think I'm doing? I'm bored shitless with the (bleep) cricket. Jesus on a paddle pop stick. Seriously, even an under 12 could've (bleep) beaten those (bleep) Sri Lankans.

Me: Hey, footy is only around the corner so you must excited?

MOTH: I'll be more (bleep) excited when I get get this (bleep) wooden (bleep) spoon taken out from my (bleep) anus.

Me: Uh...you had since the Grand Final to have that removed?

MOTH: Well...it was...well...kinda comforting...especially when you're having a dump. King (bleep) Kong would've loved it. Bit hard to get that first pain but hey, like that (bleep) said to me in Kings Cross before I got the crabs off her "the foreskin doesn't hurt"...or was it a him that I screwed...(bleep) trannyis look all the same to me...she did have a mo to begin with, maybe that explains the hairy chest...

Me: uhhhh okay then...moving on...so, how you do see this season going to go for Parra?

MOTH: Dunno (slurps his Fosters then lets out a belch) better out then in, eh? Yeah, reckon we'll do (bleep) okay. Reckon we'll make past 14th, maybe 13th? (slurps his Fosters then proceeds to scratch his bum before smelling his finger) smells like that (bleep) curry I had (bleep) last night...dunno, had a chat with me (bleep) mate last night about this season, yeah? He (bleep) reckons that (bleep bleep) BA will be sacked 'fore the year is over and reckons that Jack Shitt take over.

Me: Who?

MOTH: Jack Shitt. He used to be our coach in volleyball back in our young days. Man, he can (bleep) coach. Mate, that (bleep) can (bleep) coach. He was a great (bleep) of a  (bleep) coach. Used ta (bleep) the (bleep) cheerleaders (bleep) silly. Ride them like a (bleep) cowboy he did

Me: You swear a lot?

MOTH: Go and (bleep) your self you (bleep) goat (bleep)er I can (bleep) swear if I (bleep) want to you (bleep bleep) Now me (bleep) beer is empty. Git us another one you (bleep) fore I (bleep) punch ya (bleep) silly.

Me: Yeah okay then...so, ummm..who'll be our best player this year?

MOTH: (Bleep) if I (bleep) know...where's me (bleep) beer (bleep)?

Me: I have no idea where this interview is going...

MOTH: You know I was there with Haynesy shagged that (bleep)?

Me: You were?

MOTH: Yeah, I was (bleep) cheering him on, mate. Few lines of the old (bleep) marching powder up our noses and off he (bleep) went like old Mother Hubburb's dog when she bent over. In like Flynn he...

Me: okay, okay, that's enough...you had too much...

MOTH: (Bleep) off you hairy arsed (bleep) what are ya, a (bleep) hippie or a poof. Bet ya (bleep) married your (bleep) boyfriend, didn't ya, ya big (bleep) poof? Git us another one 'fore I (bleep) smash yah!

Me: Hey, hey, hey calm down...hey, put that hammer down...no not my-

 

INTERVIEW TERMINATED WHEN M.O.T.H. SMASHED TAPE RECORDER....

 

 

Views: 170

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Desieels replied to Parra-all-the-way's discussion One proud fan
"This is who we are. We'll always be proud, no matter the result. Bloody hell. We're losing to Newcastle. What's wrong with you all? No doubt we're a hopeless rubbish team. Same crap every weekend. And we have to be proud of it. Good effort doesn't…"
9 minutes ago
TolEllts replied to Blue Eel's discussion Should we be concerned !
"Nice question. Wanting to hear the asnwer for that."
28 minutes ago
TolEllts replied to Parra-all-the-way's discussion One proud fan
"Joash should stop as if he is playing backyard footy. His no look passes had caused us some games. His trying to milk a penalty for a 'strip' is very amateurist. He's given his all but need to clean up these errors and actions. It was a game we…"
1 hour ago
Mallee57 replied to Parra-all-the-way's discussion One proud fan
"Thought Edwards was good at dummy half"
1 hour ago
Mallee57 replied to Parra-all-the-way's discussion One proud fan
"Agree, thought they played well considering the injuries and continual swapping and changing of players some out of position. They had the game won except for some really costly errors, poor passing and frantic play especially in the early 2nd half.…"
1 hour ago
JC replied to Parra-all-the-way's discussion One proud fan
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1 hour ago
Longfin Eel replied to Parra-all-the-way's discussion One proud fan
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2 hours ago
LB replied to Parra-all-the-way's discussion One proud fan
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2 hours ago
Parrafan101 replied to Parra-all-the-way's discussion One proud fan
"To be honest, Smith and Dasilva need a stint. Especially Dasilva. Has all the talent in the world but needs to pick his timing comes with age and just crafting at it. Smith needs a stint , he just havinf a second year syndrome."
2 hours ago
LB replied to Parra-all-the-way's discussion One proud fan
"Listening to Ryles' presser, he talked about the Hooking position. He mentioned Edwards was brought to the club as he can play dummy half as well as in the middle. But he also said Edwards allows Hookers to develop and play more mins in cup. So does…"
2 hours ago
Joel K replied to Parra-all-the-way's discussion One proud fan
"I'm proud of the effort, not proud of the basics that we get wrong every week
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2 hours ago
Darren Munro replied to Blue Eel's discussion Should we be concerned !
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2 hours ago
Mr 'BringBackFitzy' Analyst replied to Parra-all-the-way's discussion One proud fan
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EA replied to Roy tannous's discussion What could of been💔
"Should we still get Burton lol "
2 hours ago
Cʜɪᴇғy Mclovin replied to Roy tannous's discussion What could of been💔
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