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An interview with the Man On The Hill

Posted by Parramanaic on February 9, 2019 at 1:17pm in Humour

Me: Well, I'm excited that I have finally secured an interview with a passionate eels supporter, the man on the hill. How are ya?

Man on the Hill: How the (bleep) you think I'm doing? I'm bored shitless with the (bleep) cricket. Jesus on a paddle pop stick. Seriously, even an under 12 could've (bleep) beaten those (bleep) Sri Lankans.

Me: Hey, footy is only around the corner so you must excited?

MOTH: I'll be more (bleep) excited when I get get this (bleep) wooden (bleep) spoon taken out from my (bleep) anus.

Me: Uh...you had since the Grand Final to have that removed?

MOTH: Well...it was...well...kinda comforting...especially when you're having a dump. King (bleep) Kong would've loved it. Bit hard to get that first pain but hey, like that (bleep) said to me in Kings Cross before I got the crabs off her "the foreskin doesn't hurt"...or was it a him that I screwed...(bleep) trannyis look all the same to me...she did have a mo to begin with, maybe that explains the hairy chest...

Me: uhhhh okay then...moving on...so, how you do see this season going to go for Parra?

MOTH: Dunno (slurps his Fosters then lets out a belch) better out then in, eh? Yeah, reckon we'll do (bleep) okay. Reckon we'll make past 14th, maybe 13th? (slurps his Fosters then proceeds to scratch his bum before smelling his finger) smells like that (bleep) curry I had (bleep) last night...dunno, had a chat with me (bleep) mate last night about this season, yeah? He (bleep) reckons that (bleep bleep) BA will be sacked 'fore the year is over and reckons that Jack Shitt take over.

Me: Who?

MOTH: Jack Shitt. He used to be our coach in volleyball back in our young days. Man, he can (bleep) coach. Mate, that (bleep) can (bleep) coach. He was a great (bleep) of a  (bleep) coach. Used ta (bleep) the (bleep) cheerleaders (bleep) silly. Ride them like a (bleep) cowboy he did

Me: You swear a lot?

MOTH: Go and (bleep) your self you (bleep) goat (bleep)er I can (bleep) swear if I (bleep) want to you (bleep bleep) Now me (bleep) beer is empty. Git us another one you (bleep) fore I (bleep) punch ya (bleep) silly.

Me: Yeah okay then...so, ummm..who'll be our best player this year?

MOTH: (Bleep) if I (bleep) know...where's me (bleep) beer (bleep)?

Me: I have no idea where this interview is going...

MOTH: You know I was there with Haynesy shagged that (bleep)?

Me: You were?

MOTH: Yeah, I was (bleep) cheering him on, mate. Few lines of the old (bleep) marching powder up our noses and off he (bleep) went like old Mother Hubburb's dog when she bent over. In like Flynn he...

Me: okay, okay, that's enough...you had too much...

MOTH: (Bleep) off you hairy arsed (bleep) what are ya, a (bleep) hippie or a poof. Bet ya (bleep) married your (bleep) boyfriend, didn't ya, ya big (bleep) poof? Git us another one 'fore I (bleep) smash yah!

Me: Hey, hey, hey calm down...hey, put that hammer down...no not my-

 

INTERVIEW TERMINATED WHEN M.O.T.H. SMASHED TAPE RECORDER....

 

 

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Eels95 replied to jamie's discussion The Captains
"I don't understand why this is such a hard concept to understand. Moses wasn't fit to play on Monday! Origin is 9 days after Monday.  Imagine he plays and tears his hammy completely. It sucks but it is what it is.
Also, playing through a shoulder…"
5 minutes ago
fake midget pseudoachondroplasia replied to jamie's discussion The Captains
"Mitch wanted to play, Parra staff said No.
Ryles said in presser he would be alright to play this coming weekend and origin isn't until a few days later.
It sux for Parra but it has happened before and will happen again.  It is to be expected when…"
7 minutes ago
Poppa replied to Hell On Eels's discussion Game Day Blog R14 v Dogs: King's Birthday Battle (L14-12 in the fight again, another close loss, our 3rd, 6 points)
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12 minutes ago
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Mallee57 replied to Mallee57's discussion IF Moses played against Dogs. Would Eels Have Won
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Garbage Binns replied to Garbage Binns's discussion Mitchell moses is he even real at this point ?
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1 hour ago
Garbage Binns replied to Garbage Binns's discussion Mitchell moses is he even real at this point ?
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1 hour ago
SuperEel 22 replied to Mallee57's discussion IF Moses played against Dogs. Would Eels Have Won
"Ryles said as much. In the presser he said if Mitch wasn't picked then he'd likely be playing against Canberra, but that he hadn't passed the week's injury return protocols."
1 hour ago
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I'm sure by the time you guys wake up down under you might've seen the interview (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BSktA9oLux4). Among other things, he comes out as gay. I remember his stint at the Warriors after he left us being calamitous. He was…

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