An interview with the Man On The Hill

Me: Well, I'm excited that I have finally secured an interview with a passionate eels supporter, the man on the hill. How are ya?

Man on the Hill: How the (bleep) you think I'm doing? I'm bored shitless with the (bleep) cricket. Jesus on a paddle pop stick. Seriously, even an under 12 could've (bleep) beaten those (bleep) Sri Lankans.

Me: Hey, footy is only around the corner so you must excited?

MOTH: I'll be more (bleep) excited when I get get this (bleep) wooden (bleep) spoon taken out from my (bleep) anus.

Me: Uh...you had since the Grand Final to have that removed?

MOTH: Well...it was...well...kinda comforting...especially when you're having a dump. King (bleep) Kong would've loved it. Bit hard to get that first pain but hey, like that (bleep) said to me in Kings Cross before I got the crabs off her "the foreskin doesn't hurt"...or was it a him that I screwed...(bleep) trannyis look all the same to me...she did have a mo to begin with, maybe that explains the hairy chest...

Me: uhhhh okay then...moving on...so, how you do see this season going to go for Parra?

MOTH: Dunno (slurps his Fosters then lets out a belch) better out then in, eh? Yeah, reckon we'll do (bleep) okay. Reckon we'll make past 14th, maybe 13th? (slurps his Fosters then proceeds to scratch his bum before smelling his finger) smells like that (bleep) curry I had (bleep) last night...dunno, had a chat with me (bleep) mate last night about this season, yeah? He (bleep) reckons that (bleep bleep) BA will be sacked 'fore the year is over and reckons that Jack Shitt take over.

Me: Who?

MOTH: Jack Shitt. He used to be our coach in volleyball back in our young days. Man, he can (bleep) coach. Mate, that (bleep) can (bleep) coach. He was a great (bleep) of a  (bleep) coach. Used ta (bleep) the (bleep) cheerleaders (bleep) silly. Ride them like a (bleep) cowboy he did

Me: You swear a lot?

MOTH: Go and (bleep) your self you (bleep) goat (bleep)er I can (bleep) swear if I (bleep) want to you (bleep bleep) Now me (bleep) beer is empty. Git us another one you (bleep) fore I (bleep) punch ya (bleep) silly.

Me: Yeah okay then...so, ummm..who'll be our best player this year?

MOTH: (Bleep) if I (bleep) know...where's me (bleep) beer (bleep)?

Me: I have no idea where this interview is going...

MOTH: You know I was there with Haynesy shagged that (bleep)?

Me: You were?

MOTH: Yeah, I was (bleep) cheering him on, mate. Few lines of the old (bleep) marching powder up our noses and off he (bleep) went like old Mother Hubburb's dog when she bent over. In like Flynn he...

Me: okay, okay, that's enough...you had too much...

MOTH: (Bleep) off you hairy arsed (bleep) what are ya, a (bleep) hippie or a poof. Bet ya (bleep) married your (bleep) boyfriend, didn't ya, ya big (bleep) poof? Git us another one 'fore I (bleep) smash yah!

Me: Hey, hey, hey calm down...hey, put that hammer down...no not my-

 

INTERVIEW TERMINATED WHEN M.O.T.H. SMASHED TAPE RECORDER....

 

 

You need to be a member of 1Eyed Eel to add comments!

Join 1Eyed Eel

Votes: 0
Email me when people reply –

Latest comments

Nightmare Off-Season replied to Hell On Eels's discussion R8 v Manly: The Rise and Fall of the Eels
" HOE, monumental effort compiling so much information, statistics & evidence into one blog & keeping it compelling throughout.
 As Frank said, this might just be your best work yet. Thankyou for putting such time in, it's appreciated.
 
I find it…"
11 minutes ago
Poppa replied to Blue Eel's discussion The Truth Hurts: Article
"Says the man with Homer as his avatar, it does need explaining Hugo because you are criticising professionals and showing no respect in the process....Wiz is much more interested in toilet training and is unquestionably qualified as an expert in…"
16 minutes ago
Poppa replied to ParramattaLurker's discussion Round 8 Team List v Manly Warringah Sea Eagles (ANZAC Round)
"I have no doubt that Simmo would be our best alternative if Gutho is out, but I also think Russell would play in front of Talagi if you do not want a potential total embarrassment. God help us if we had Asi there,
Don't disagree with Martyn…"
24 minutes ago
Poppa replied to Hell On Eels's discussion R8 v Manly: The Rise and Fall of the Eels
"You are possibly right Frankie, can you get a comparative expense exercise done with other clubs to make this a legitimate comparison..... I get a bit lost when you keep referring to the "bottom of the barrell standard people" ...... I can accept…"
31 minutes ago
Poppa replied to ParramattaLurker's discussion Round 8 Team List v Manly Warringah Sea Eagles (ANZAC Round)
"I had to go over to TCT to see if I was the old dribbler Hugo mentioned as my comments were not supportive of any particular faction, view or site.....so it wasn't me, although in saying that don't let the facts spoil the story. Points being made…"
59 minutes ago
Michael W. replied to Eli Stephens's discussion Jett Cleary off to NZ
"Good on you for acknowledging you're an idiot, bro."
1 hour ago
Uncle Wizards Sleeve indigenous elder He/Him replied to ParramattaLurker's discussion Round 8 Team List v Manly Warringah Sea Eagles (ANZAC Round)
"The old toilets stalkers . The guys that lurk around the toilets at training sessions waiting for players to need a piss , just so they can pretend to take a piss at the trough next to their idols. 
I bet they were horrified when they found out…"
2 hours ago
Uncle Wizards Sleeve indigenous elder He/Him replied to BEM's discussion RIP TERRY HILL
"Wonder if it was " an accident " . She only got her start because her dad was a highly respected Freemason. "
2 hours ago
Uncle Wizards Sleeve indigenous elder He/Him replied to Eli Stephens's discussion Jett Cleary off to NZ
"Who me , Brah?  . Nah Brah , I'm one of those idiots that doesn't get why he thinks he'll get more gametime down there than he would at Parramatta , brah .  
If he didn't poop his pants in the trials he'd already have been likely to have played most…"
2 hours ago
Kurupt - Sofa King Annoyed replied to BEM's discussion RIP TERRY HILL
"I remember Sterlo introduced her one time as Erin Moron."
2 hours ago
Tin Tim replied to Blue Eel's discussion The Truth Hurts: Article
"Robbo at the Roosters seem to be left alone after 4yrs of lame years. Well aware he won comps but his roster is still top notch roster. This year they are struggling with injuries, I think the Dragons will win today & the Eels Friday night. Knights…"
3 hours ago
Michael W. replied to Eli Stephens's discussion Jett Cleary off to NZ
"I suppose you're one of the idiots who wanted Sanders to hang around for 4/5 yes to get the opportunity to be a 1st grade regular."
8 hours ago
Uncle Wizards Sleeve indigenous elder He/Him replied to BEM's discussion RIP TERRY HILL
"Yup, woke = broke.   Once upon a time Thursday night meant nothing but Footy show night in most households I knew. As soon as she turned up even as a " reporter " it was doomed. It lost all credibility and you couod just tell that the show that was…"
9 hours ago
LB replied to ParramattaLurker's discussion Round 8 Team List v Manly Warringah Sea Eagles (ANZAC Round)
"Frankie do you think they will have mural with a candle when BA is gone from the club? Perhaps place some flowers at Kellyville while whispering "We appreciate you".
Legit BA could be driving and drive onto the pathway hitting and killing one of…"
9 hours ago
fake midget pseudoachondroplasia replied to BEM's discussion RIP TERRY HILL
"He was a geat bloke who always had good joke or story to tell. He stood up for what he believed and always heard plenty of good stories about him helping others.
Younger fans mightn't know that he took on the league in court ending the draft for…"
9 hours ago
Uncle Wizards Sleeve indigenous elder He/Him replied to Eli Stephens's discussion Jett Cleary off to NZ
"Yeah maybe Sanders actually sees more development opportunities playing under Fogerty than he does Moses ? "
9 hours ago
More…

 

<script src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js"></script>
<!-- Sidebar -->
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<script>// <![CDATA[
(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});
// ]]></script>