Social Blogs

An interview with the Man On The Hill

Posted by Parramanaic on February 9, 2019 at 1:17pm in Humour

Me: Well, I'm excited that I have finally secured an interview with a passionate eels supporter, the man on the hill. How are ya?

Man on the Hill: How the (bleep) you think I'm doing? I'm bored shitless with the (bleep) cricket. Jesus on a paddle pop stick. Seriously, even an under 12 could've (bleep) beaten those (bleep) Sri Lankans.

Me: Hey, footy is only around the corner so you must excited?

MOTH: I'll be more (bleep) excited when I get get this (bleep) wooden (bleep) spoon taken out from my (bleep) anus.

Me: Uh...you had since the Grand Final to have that removed?

MOTH: Well...it was...well...kinda comforting...especially when you're having a dump. King (bleep) Kong would've loved it. Bit hard to get that first pain but hey, like that (bleep) said to me in Kings Cross before I got the crabs off her "the foreskin doesn't hurt"...or was it a him that I screwed...(bleep) trannyis look all the same to me...she did have a mo to begin with, maybe that explains the hairy chest...

Me: uhhhh okay then...moving on...so, how you do see this season going to go for Parra?

MOTH: Dunno (slurps his Fosters then lets out a belch) better out then in, eh? Yeah, reckon we'll do (bleep) okay. Reckon we'll make past 14th, maybe 13th? (slurps his Fosters then proceeds to scratch his bum before smelling his finger) smells like that (bleep) curry I had (bleep) last night...dunno, had a chat with me (bleep) mate last night about this season, yeah? He (bleep) reckons that (bleep bleep) BA will be sacked 'fore the year is over and reckons that Jack Shitt take over.

Me: Who?

MOTH: Jack Shitt. He used to be our coach in volleyball back in our young days. Man, he can (bleep) coach. Mate, that (bleep) can (bleep) coach. He was a great (bleep) of a  (bleep) coach. Used ta (bleep) the (bleep) cheerleaders (bleep) silly. Ride them like a (bleep) cowboy he did

Me: You swear a lot?

MOTH: Go and (bleep) your self you (bleep) goat (bleep)er I can (bleep) swear if I (bleep) want to you (bleep bleep) Now me (bleep) beer is empty. Git us another one you (bleep) fore I (bleep) punch ya (bleep) silly.

Me: Yeah okay then...so, ummm..who'll be our best player this year?

MOTH: (Bleep) if I (bleep) know...where's me (bleep) beer (bleep)?

Me: I have no idea where this interview is going...

MOTH: You know I was there with Haynesy shagged that (bleep)?

Me: You were?

MOTH: Yeah, I was (bleep) cheering him on, mate. Few lines of the old (bleep) marching powder up our noses and off he (bleep) went like old Mother Hubburb's dog when she bent over. In like Flynn he...

Me: okay, okay, that's enough...you had too much...

MOTH: (Bleep) off you hairy arsed (bleep) what are ya, a (bleep) hippie or a poof. Bet ya (bleep) married your (bleep) boyfriend, didn't ya, ya big (bleep) poof? Git us another one 'fore I (bleep) smash yah!

Me: Hey, hey, hey calm down...hey, put that hammer down...no not my-

 

INTERVIEW TERMINATED WHEN M.O.T.H. SMASHED TAPE RECORDER....

 

 

Views: 170

You need to be a member of 1Eyed Eel to add comments!

Join 1Eyed Eel

★
★
★
★
★
Votes: 0
Email me when people reply –
Follow

Latest comments

Coryn Hughes replied to Roy tannous's discussion What could of been💔
"This is our problem players can't be great individually we need the team to be good across the park but it seems very up n down and hence the performance looks very much the same.
I mean the Joash foward pass bombing certain try before halftime.…"
1 hour ago
Coryn Hughes replied to Parra-all-the-way's discussion One proud fan
"Until we start winning some battles in the middle of the park all teams have to do to beat us is roll through the middle and complete it's a simple equation.We are so soft in the middle of the park.I'm seeing it every single week and this goes back…"
2 hours ago
JC replied to Parra-all-the-way's discussion One proud fan
"His service was good enough but he isn't creative or a running threat  but he can play as a middle forward so I think playing two straight out hookers should end for the eels at least in the short term. 
I would start Edwards and have smith on the…"
3 hours ago
Yehez replied to Snottie Pimpin's discussion Need for Speed
"Lucas is fast. Iongi is more craft than pace, which is more important for me. "
4 hours ago
Perpetual Motion replied to Parra-all-the-way's discussion One proud fan
"Better then what Riley could have provided for 30mins cause thats all he played. Never came back. TDS is not up to it defensively. Just a highlights reel hooker."
4 hours ago
Perpetual Motion replied to Snottie Pimpin's discussion Need for Speed
"How slow is Ionghi?  When a second rower blows u away u should be embarrassed. No clue how to position himself defensively still.
We will struggle to recruit top tier players but there are players like Francis Manuleleua in reggies who is already…"
4 hours ago
Joel K replied to Snottie Pimpin's discussion Need for Speed
"We had the same issue 4 years ago regarding our edges in 2022 and nothing changed
This same blog has been posted every year since then and it will probably be posted next year as well
Realistically we won't improve in recruitment until we get the…"
4 hours ago
Gucci replied to Parra-all-the-way's discussion One proud fan
"Knights are top 4, they arent a push over squad..."
6 hours ago
Desieels replied to Parra-all-the-way's discussion One proud fan
"This is who we are. We'll always be proud, no matter the result. Bloody hell. We're losing to Newcastle. What's wrong with you all? No doubt we're a hopeless rubbish team. Same crap every weekend. And we have to be proud of it. Good effort doesn't…"
6 hours ago
TolEllts replied to Blue Eel's discussion Should we be concerned !
"Nice question. Wanting to hear the asnwer for that."
7 hours ago
TolEllts replied to Parra-all-the-way's discussion One proud fan
"Joash should stop as if he is playing backyard footy. His no look passes had caused us some games. His trying to milk a penalty for a 'strip' is very amateurist. He's given his all but need to clean up these errors and actions. It was a game we…"
7 hours ago
Mallee57 replied to Parra-all-the-way's discussion One proud fan
"Thought Edwards was good at dummy half"
8 hours ago
Mallee57 replied to Parra-all-the-way's discussion One proud fan
"Agree, thought they played well considering the injuries and continual swapping and changing of players some out of position. They had the game won except for some really costly errors, poor passing and frantic play especially in the early 2nd half.…"
8 hours ago
JC replied to Parra-all-the-way's discussion One proud fan
"At this point i think smith is the more reliable steady dummy half, tds has more skill and will eventually be the guy but he is a bit rocks and diamonds at the moment and could do with a spell in reserve grade to work on his concentration and…"
8 hours ago
Longfin Eel replied to Parra-all-the-way's discussion One proud fan
"I hear what you are saying, and you are right, but that sounds like what we said in the early 90s when we never expected to come close to winning games. As a club we do need to be so much better than what has been dished up this season. There has…"
8 hours ago
LB replied to Parra-all-the-way's discussion One proud fan
"Both can't have a stint. I don't think either need a long term stint. The more they play the better they'll be. I wouldn't say Smith is having 2nd year syndrome as much as that sternum injury would have limited him a lot."
8 hours ago
More…

Social Blogs

Remember Rodney Hogg

Rodney was a late arrival to Test cricket at age 27. Born in Victoria he was overlooked by state selectors and moved to Adelaide to find an earlier path to Shield.He was selected and within a year he was noticed by Alan Davidson who mentioned his…

Read more…
Started by Richard Jackson in Sports
6 Replies · Reply by Poppa on Wednesday
Views: 232

 

Eels Blogs

Need for Speed

Here we go again after another loss and once again it's evident we need speed and quality players in our backline. The game in 2026 relies on scramble defence from your outside backs and edges who also need to have the strike to finish opportunities…

Read more…
Started by Snottie Pimpin
3 Replies · Reply by Yehez 4 hours ago
Views: 102

Vegas

I'm seriously thinking about it. Packages arent too bad either at NRL.com. Anybody else, all us one eyed eel fans could meet at a depressing dive bar there and feel right at home

Read more…
Started by Comedian
4 Replies · Reply by LB 11 hours ago
Views: 163

<script src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js"></script>
<!-- Sidebar -->
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<script>// <![CDATA[
(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});
// ]]></script>