I haven't posted for a while as I fostered my niece and and nephew who have had a pretty f#@cked up life and my wife and I after a number of failed IVF were able to care for 2 of the 7 siblings.
Unfortunately it didn't work out with both kids and after NSW family services failed to provide the help we needed for dealing with 2 children with massive behavioural issues and who were missing simple life skills such as how to use a knife and fork correctly which stemmed from a life of physical, sexual and mental abuse along with extreme poverty and periods of homelessness while my deadbeat half brother and his missus drank or shot massive family payments up their arm instead of providing food and basic shelter for their kids. I was unaware being estranged from my brother but once the kids were removed from their care and we were notified we did what we could taking 2 kids.
After 15 months, asking, begging, pleading and demanding for psychological help from family services (we tried to go privately but we needed FACS approval and referral) for the kids which never came they removed my nephew from our care and he is now in an integrated care module. Basically a fancy name for a small group home with other troubled kids.
This was heart breaking for me seeing the child I loved and cared for 15 months and who had made massive progress both emotionally and with his school work taken from us, leaving his little sister alone with us who also suffered. Not only did he not go to another family for a chance of a good life but he was sent to a family member who was the carer for his older sibling who instigated the sexual abuse. After my complaints they then moved him to the group home.
This is where footy comes in and especially Parra eels. When he was here he would cheer on the eels with me. After he was removed and I stacked his bag with eels clothes, I promised him I would visit and take him to a game at Parramatta as he was moving from brisbane to Sydney.
Finally family services approved the visit and I flew down to see my nephew who I hadn't seen for 6 weeks and only spoken to twice on the phone as we didn't have contact details.
He was buzzing and couldn't believe he was going to his first live footy match. I checked with the club if I could upgrade my interstate members Bankwest game ticket to where there was a chance for him to get signatures of players after the game, knowing that players often go to the fence after the game which puts massive smiles on the kids faces.
We were put in the Sterling stand for the tigers game and the only time I saw my nephew smile as big was when he first moved to live with us or when we told him we were going to SeaWorld.
Although he couldn't find the face painting as we were pointed in every different direction by staff which was wrong he got his hair sprayed blue and gold.
We took our seats and even the reserve game had him buzzing. He saw Fergo and kept repeating I can't believe I seen him on tv now I am here.
Luckily it was the tigers game so he got plenty of cheering in and to show how far he came while in my care he even expressed remorse for the poor tigers fan behind us. He was probably 9 or 10 year old who never gave up trying to cheer and inspire his team even when down by more then 20-30 points.
Every try we scored my nephew was up cheering and after it all he couldn't believe it when I handed him a texta, and told him to stand by the fence and hold his hat and get signatures.
Unfortunately this is where there was a bit of disappointment. Not for him as nothing could wipe the smile from his face but for me. The only players who came over were Maika Sivo and Oregon kafusi. Although he was over the moon I thought back to the games I saw on tv and even last night with other teams having a larger number of players meeting the kids.
I understand media commitments, covid and wanting get back to the sheds but how about the fans. A HUGE shout out to Sivo he was there for ages signing stuff for kids and taking photos. I tried to hand my phone down a few rows so my nephew could get a selfie and Sivo patiently waited after the phone turned off and needed the password and the phone was passed back and forth.
Junior was his favourite player before the game but now there is no doubt it is Sivo.
The smile was still on my nephew's face when I had to drop him home the following day and come back home to Brisbane. He rang us yesterday and was still saying I can't believe I got their signature and a photo with Sivo. Unfortunately he doesn't get to choose what they watch on tv where he stays, so won't be able to cheer his new favourite player on, but I know what his first question will be when I talk to him next.
Did the eels win?
Replies
Fantastic to hear from you FM. I was sort of wondering what happened to you.
The stories about your nephew and niece are heart wrenching, gee our public servants have a lot to explain themselves for.
Is there anything we can do to help you for your foster kids, please let me know what material things they lack, if at all, I can see they receive lots of love from you and your wife, congratulations on your efforts and keep hanging in there if you are going for custody again. Separating him and his sister makes no sense, is there any basis to that decision?
Just let me know what they like games wise or what they enjoy doing and I will see what we can arrange.
Fake Midget you and your wife are absolute gems and I applaud you both for what you did and I wish you both a million blessings and all the luck and good frortune in the world .
Why the fuck they would remove to kids from a loving home and not assist you and your wife J ever way is disgrace of the highest kind .
Fake midget you and your wife are the chain links that keep society together. Against the odds you've hung on and held it together.
In the face of mindless bureaucracy, and a heart breaking set of circumstances you both have been selfless enough to access levels of resilience, love and compassion that would be beyond most. You both are heroes. All power to you.
I'm sure in your little nephews eyes while Sivo maybe his favourite footy player, there would be no doubt as to who his true hero in life is.
Good on you mate. Like Poppa said, let us know if there's anything we can do to help.
Good to see you back FM, sounhds like youve been through a rough time, but sounds like you did everything in your power to do what was right.
Stepping up to the plate and taking 2 kids with lots of problems is a huge effort, dont be too hard on yourself because it didnt work out, you did everything you could and are still trying to help, outstanding effort mate, credit to you.
Maybe it might be for the best how it worked out, prob had the potential to damage your marriage.
Good to see you back Midgy.
Beautiful and sad story there mate.
I work with many kids like your nephew it's a terrible situation for any kid and that level of trauma is hard to ever ever understand I can assure your involvement in his life is worth more than you will ever know, knowing that you are cared for and loved for any child it's priceless let alone this situation
Sports for all its faults can also be a great healer and escape I'm sure he will treasure that moment and any future experiences.
All the best to you and your family mate
Stay strong FM good will come your way what you are doing is a great thing , just hope things get better for the kids involved
Nice to hear from you FM I really have missed your inputs on this site and wondered what happened with your absence.
Mate I worked in this industry for 20 years or so up until 1997 and eventually had to get out of it . Lots of heartbreaking stories which in most cases are unfixable. The lack of living in a stable love environment is cruel to kids. Many will never recover.In years gone by Rex Jackson was the community services minister.He was rough as diamonds in many ways but understood kids in this situation.He was a State Ward himself and really tried to look after these kids even post wardship. He encouraged these kids to go on to University and provided financial support for these kids. Unfortunately if you don,t have love and security you will find it difficult to grow into fulfilling your childhood ambitions. Keep in contact with them as regularly as you can.I don,t know if the Department will financially support accessing these contacts. I found writing to the Minister direct sometimes comes out with good results. Used to in my day..
Thanks for your blog. You are opening up things that have given you some wonderful support from many posters from this site.Cheers
Thanks everyone, I wasn't seeking help of any kind and know if others had family in the same situation they would also step up.
I wanted to share a reminder of what our great game can offer and was glad to be reminded how much a selfless act like that of Sivo could bring so much joy to someone. Hopefully the head Knock crackdown and the softening up of society doesn't take that joy away from others. I would also hope that more players would spend a little time like Sivo and Kafusi to give back to the young fans who admire the players so much.