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Unborn Child Is A Result Of Immaculate Conception - Brian Houston

Posted by Mr 'BringBackFitzy' Analyst on September 27, 2016 at 3:50pm
Hillsong Church: “Jarryd Hayne’s Unborn Child Is A Result Of Immaculate Conception”This comes a month after the star fullback compared his struggles with bad press to that of Jesus Christ, his unborn child's half-brother.27 September, 2016. 14:15CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACTHillsong, the fastest-growing church in Australia is in damage control today, following the news that their posterchild, Gold Coast Titans star Jarryd Hayne is reportedly having a baby with a 25-year-old ‘friend’ named Amellia Bonnici.Brian Houston, founder and lead pastor of the church says Jarryd Hayne’s alleged sex before marriage can be easily explained through religion.He says that the woman that Hayne has been close friends with since they met through the social media app Instagram in 2015, has actually been impregnated by God.“We often say this, in our sermons,”“Christ has come, Christ has risen, Christ will come again. Well, he’s coming back by the looks of it,”“Jarryd has always been a devout follower of our brand of fast food evangelicalism. He has consistently paid us 10% of his annual income and for that, his sins should be forgiven. He is a good boy now”“Ever since he got shot at in Kings Cross, he’s been a good boy. A part from the bikie thing a few weeks back…”“I seriously doubt he has actually been ‘doing it’ with this woman. It makes perfect sense that God would choose a follower of our religion, and a superstar rugby league player to raise his next son,”This comes a month after the star fullback compared his struggles with bad press to that of Jesus Christ, his unborn child’s half-brother.“You do read articles and get upset and want to get fired up. When you read the bible you realise everyone hated Jesus.” he said“You’ve got to put that in perspective and realise how much he stood up and was still him. He could have easily lost the plot and lost his shit but he kept it together.”These comments were quickly met with a response from God, who politely asked the 28-year-old code-hopper to lay of the public references to their relationship.However, it seems God might be willing to give him another chance, with the news that his ‘close friend’ and housemate has been chosen by the Lord for immaculate conception, a journey that will most likely see Hayne step into the role of earth-father.This is great news for Hayne, who’s career was again under the spotlight following his post season celebrations, when he was filmed handing over $5k cash to known bikie affilates.Hillsong Church: “Jarryd Hayne’s Unborn Child Is A Result Of Immaculate Conception” added by Clancy Overell on September 27, 2016
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Replies

  • Snakey - Sack Dylan Brown September 27, 2016 at 4:15pm

    BWAHAHAHAHAHA one of your best Bazza.

  • Eel for life September 27, 2016 at 4:41pm

    Did BA know something that rest of us didnt?? did BA realise that he was going to be a distraction if he signed with Parra?

    • Outrunna > Eel for life September 27, 2016 at 5:00pm
      Geez relax would you. He is having a kid. How many other players have kids
  • Sir Col "THE NODDY MUSHROOM" September 27, 2016 at 5:48pm

    Ummm - since when do Boy childs have kids?

    The sheila is having the kid - I mean Mary had a little Lamb so why can't this be true as well?

  • El patrón MDV September 27, 2016 at 6:59pm

    guess who;s father was a paedophile and his son covered it up for years

  • El patrón MDV September 27, 2016 at 7:00pm

    Hillsong Church leader Brian Houston ignored conflict of interest w...

    www.abc.net.au/news/2015-11-23/hillsong-leader-ignored-conflict.../...
    Nov 22, 2015 - Brian Houston was president of the Assemblies of God Pentecostal movement in 1999, when his father Frank Houston, a senior pastor at the ...
    Hillsong leader ignored conflict over sex abuse claims against his father: royal commission
    A royal commission finds Hillsong Church leader Brian Houston ignored a conflict of interest in dealing with sexual abuse allegations against his fat…
  • Mo September 28, 2016 at 11:43pm
    So sick of seeing his name and Jarryd Hayne expecting first child on the news.
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