It is a little known fact that Franz Kafka’s The Trial (1925) had a baby with Samuel Beckett’s Waiting for Godot (1953), producing what literary historians know as The Parramatta Eels. In Kafka’s novel, Joseph K is an entirely unremarkable bank employee arrested for an unspecified crime. Joseph K spends his time in the shadow of impending punishment, never knowing his crime and realizing the best he can hope for is indefinite deferral of the trial. Similarly, in Beckett’s play, Vladimir and Estragon wait endlessly for someone named Godot who never arrives. When the novel and the play met, they gave birth to the Parramatta Eels. To be an Eel of any kind is to be forever waiting for a trial that will never actually come. Instead, being an Eel is just an absurd ongoing punishment for crimes about which we do not know, like we are all Joseph K now. Like waiting for Godot, our existence is a circular one of futile hope punctuated by absurdly hopeful action. Who knows what Parramatta team will run out against the Tigers? Maybe the same team that got lapped by the Storm, only to turn around and crunch the Broncos? Or maybe the same team that won ugly against the Dragons, only to return to the kind of pathetic tackling seen against the Storm and get themselves lapped by Panthers? Like the love child of Joseph K and Godot, following the Eels is like being punished for a crime and waiting forever to resolve the issue. Welcome to Round 5.
Teams
Monday 6 April 2026, Commbank Stadium, 4:05pm (AEDT).
Parramatta, Lands of the Burramatta clan of the Darug nation.
Referee: Peter Gough. Eels apparently have a 10-17 W-L or 37% win ratio with Gough in charge.
EELS: 1. Joash Papali'i 2. Bailey Simonsson 3. Brian Kelly 4. Sean Russell 5. Josh Addo-Carr 6. Jonah Pezet 7. Mitchell Moses 8. Jack Williams 9. Ryley Smith 10. Junior Paulo 11. Kelma Tuilagi 12. Kitione Kautoga 13. Dylan Walker
Bench: 14. Tallyn Da Silva 15. Sam Tuivaiti 16. Charlie Guymer 17. Luca Moretti 18. Jack de Belin 19. Apa Twidle.
Reserves: 20. Ronald Volkman 21. Teancum Brown 22. Araz Nanva.
Cut: TBC
Head coach: Jason Ryles.
TIGERS: 1. Jahream Bula 2. Faaletino Tavana 3. Sunia Turuva 4. Heamasi Makasini 5. Luke Laulilii 6. Jock Madden 7. Adam Doueihi 8. Terrell May 9. Apisai Koroisau 10. Fonua Pole 11. Samuela Fainu 12. Kai Pearce-Paul 13. Alex Twal
Bench: 14. Latu Fainu 15. Sione Fainu 16. Royce Hunt 17. Alex Seyfarth 18. Bunty Afoa 19. Jeral Skelton.
Reserves: 20. Tristan Hope 21. Tony Sukkar 22. Patrick Herbert
Cut: TBC
Head coach: Benji Marshall.
Notes: the Eels are already the walking wounded. In the outside backs the Eels are playing their first choice backup fullback and their third choice backup centre. Our five-eighth-2026 managed to be confirmed as departing even earlier than Dylbag$-2025. Our backup outside back on the 6-man bench has never played first grade. We have lost two middles for the season (Hopgood and Doorey), with the remaining four middles (Paulo, Williams, Tuivati and Moretti) being the last middles standing before rookies would need to be blooded. It is a small saving grace for the Eels that the Tigers will be without their marquee man Jerome Luia, but the Madden/Douehi halves combination combined extremely well to dispose of the high-flying Warriors in Round 4.
Observations From Last Week
Eels vs Panthers: 20-48 (L), 50% possession (it was 44% in first half), 73% vs 82% completion rate, 4 vs 5 linebreaks, 30 vs 39 tackle breaks, 8 vs 9 offloads, 39 vs 30 missed tackles, 14 vs 16 ineffective tackles, 12 vs 7 errors, 5 vs 6 penalties conceded, 2 vs 5 ruck infringements, 12 vs 1 inside 10 meters each, 1 sin bin (Panthers).
Tigers vs Warriors: 32-14 (W), 49/51% possession, 77% completion rate each, 6 vs 3 linebreaks, 46 vs 20 tackle breaks, 7 vs 5 offloads, 20 vs 46 missed tackles, 11 vs 13 ineffective tackles, 14 errors each, 9 vs 3 penalties conceded, 3 ruck infringements each, 0 vs 3 inside 10 meters awarded, 1 sin bin (Warriors).
Eels/Panthers R4 Lowlights HERE.
Tigers/Warriors R4 Highlights HERE
The interesting thing about the Eels’ loss to the Panthers was that the stats are not massively far apart, suggesting the Eels simply let themselves down on individual plays. Ryles in the press conference seemed to suggest as much, noting that it was individual players missing their assignments. While that might suggest a silver lining, its individual failures rather than a systemic issue causing the defensive woes, the fact remains a system is only as good as its weakest link. The Eels have not yet figured out how to address their weak links. By contrast the Tigers have surprised their legion of critics. Starting with a bye and then a win over the Cowboys (44-16), a close loss the Bunnies 16-20 and an upset of the Warriors 32-14. The defensive contrast is stark: the Eels conceding 38 per game, the Tigers 17 per game.
The Future is Now (again, ironically)?
An irony presents itself for the Eels as they enter this Round 5 match vs the Tigers. A Win would add some confidence that blowout losses to Storm and Panthers are aberrations. But the potential for further injuries or injuries and a loss have kick started early talk of ‘the future is now?’. With the Eels already in an injury crisis, talk of blooding rookies and maybe displacing a departing Pezet early in the season has begun. Recall it was after the Panthers Round 19 game of 13 July 2025 that Ryles started saying “the future is now”. Back then, Dylbag$ was shifted to hooker and Papalii to 5/8 in that Panthers game. Will fans revolt if there are any signs of throwing the towel in on the 2026 season? But will a loss turbo charge such talk? Weirdly, is a Round 5 match a season-defining match?
Another question is whether the Eels can survive Peter Gough? Thanks to the excellent work at The Rugby League Eye Test (RLET), we know that Gough in 2025 led the NRL with penalties above average in season 2020-2025. Indeed, Gough sat at double the rate of the next candidate (Grant Atkins). For set restarts above average over the past five seasons, a group of four award them willy-nilly (Raymond, Perenera, Gee and Smith), but Peter Gough was below average. But in the 2025 season, Peter Gough was in the Top 3 for both penalties above average and set restarts above average. If anyone is still counting, in 2025 Peter Gough refereed both Eels games against Penrith in and the Eels were on the raw end of the refereeing stick in each contest. With set restarts such a talking point in 2026, and the Eels having demonstrated they are unable to defend periods of low possession, Gough as ref vs Tigers is a red flag.
Again with deference to The Rugby League Eye Test (RLET), Season 2026 over the first four rounds has been the Set Restart Season. We have seen a 55% increase in set restarts year on year and a 12% increase in set restarts awarded beyond the 40m line (and 29% of set restarts are awarded in the 20-40m zone). From a set restart every 47.3 play-the-balls in 2025 we are down to one every 30.4 play-the-balls. Adding penalties, some kind of infringement (which marches the attacking team down the field) is being called every 14.9 play-the-balls. Most of these infringements are in the ruck (76%) with offsides 24%. Crucially, tries from a repeat set (whatever the cause) are 62% of all scores.
In the context of the very fast game produced by the proliferation of 6-agains this year, the Eels have not handled it very well. We all know the Eels have fluffed the first 25-30 minutes of each of their four games thus far, letting teams get away on them early: 4-18 (Storm), 6-20 (Broncos), 6-14 (Dragons) and 4-30 (Panthers). The pace of the game, amplified by repeat sets, seems to have been too fast for the Eels’ defensive line early in games (first 25-30 minutes). Yes, the Eels somewhat recover after 25-30 minutes: 0-34 (Storm), 34-12 (Broncos), 24-6 (Dragons) and 16-18 (Panthers).
The Eels have been threatening with the ball when they have the ball, as was in evidence with four tries versus Panthers, who had only conceded two tries across their first three games before the Eels notched four against them.
But defensively the Eels have been diabolical, especially early in the contest. One chart from the RLET indicates the predicament the Eels find themselves in. The chart below depicts average actual points conceded versus average expected points conceded (what field position etc indicate the team might concede).
First, we note the Tigers are ranked ‘dominant’, being one of the teams NOT conceding more than field position and possession etc would suggest. Second, there is a reason why the Eels are ranked ‘incompetent’. By rights, the Eels – based on the field position and possession they achieve – should be conceding about 18 points per game. Instead, the Eels concede about 38 per game, or DOUBLE WHAT THEY SHOULD CONCEDE. The Eels literally concede 111.8% more points than they should.
The Bottom Line
Will the Eels show us who they are? That question is a double-edged sword. Raw stats show that the Eels concede 38 per game and score 24, whereas the Tigers concede 17 per game and score 31. Will the Eels show us that terrible defence is not who they are? Or will the Eels show us that terrible defence is who they are?
As noted above, the Eels concede twice as many points as we should expect based on their field position and possession. If the Eels cannot fix that issue, it does not matter how high octane their attack has the potential to be.
In Kafka’s The Trial, the examining magistrate is a character who conducts an unruly, arbitrary, and unsympathetic hearing with Joseph K. If the Eels cannot fix their defensive issues, will all of their fans become The Examining Magistrate?
Go Eels. Stay strong my Eels brothers and sisters
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