Such is the recent churn of NRL coaches pretty soon they won't put their names in the Big League. There will be a blank space for fans to fill in when they've been told who is in charge this week.
Within days we have witnessed the sacking of Penrith's Anthony Griffin, the destabilisation of Wayne Bennett, the resignation of Manly's Trent Barrett and the attempted poaching of the Wests-Tigers Ivan Cleary.
Shocking if you believe the giant headlines, yet achingly predictable in a game where the treatment of coaches — and, as an inevitable consequence, the behaviour of some of those coaches — makes the Cosa Nostra seem as ruthless as the Boy Scouts.
Predictable because the serially inept management and retrograde power structures at some NRL clubs ingrain instability and insecurity making it almost impossible for a coach to survive, let alone thrive.
The NRL likes being compared to the AFL like Penny Wong likes being compared to Pauline Hanson. But, in this case, there is cause for genuine reflection.
Over the past few years AFL clubs have bucked the trend by retaining underachieving coaches and improving their conditions after thorough reviews. Richmond premiership coach Damien Hardwick and Collingwood's Nathan Buckley are the two notable survivors.
But in the NRL transparent reviews of football operations are avoided because those in power fear their influence will be eroded.
Instead the war lords continue to rule the roost, while the NRL — obliged to distribute the vast proceeds of media rights deals no-strings-attached — has little influence on club governance. Not until, like the Gold Coast Titans or Wests-Tigers, a club goes belly up.
So it is no wonder that, as Fairfax Media reported, a proposal to make the poaching of contracted coaches such as Cleary more difficult is met by the clubs with stony silence.
The coach is a vanity item for modern club bosses
As much as the superstar player, the coach is a vanity item for the club boss. Having the coach on speed dial and being seen to influence his every move is a source of ego-inflating self-justification — regardless of whether the club czar is a storied ex-player/coach or runs a chain of fried chicken shops.
And when the coach fails or, worse, won't dance to the club boss's tune? The wheel of coaching misfortune gets another spin. Regardless, in the case of Griffin and his then fifth-placed Panthers, that the team was in the thick of the premiership race.
Yet bizarrely, the instability, poor governance and flawed decision making that leads to yet another coaching change is usually overlooked. Instead many fans, deluded by news-hungry media crisis merchants, see change as hope not failure.
Never mind that an administration that continually churns through coaches with no accountability and no meaningful review of its processes is condemned to repeat its mistakes.
It is little wonder in this environment NRL coaches tend to be suspicious, insular and, in some cases, prone to playing media games or having their agents do it for them, even when they have won seven premierships.
Brisbane Broncos BBQ war
The Brisbane Broncos BBQ war when players were forced to choose where to get their charred porterhouse — at the home of chief executive Paul White or coach Wayne Bennett — brings to mind the politics of a schoolgirl sleepover.
"Anyone who, like, dares to go to Sophie's party is, like, totally dead to me!"
Whether Bennett has been dragged down by the game's bizarre intrigue, or has perfected these tactics himself to survive a staggering 32 years as a head coach, the petty BBQ squabble was as unappetising as the egg salad.
On Thursday night Bennett's Broncos beat South Sydney who are coached by Anthony Seibold, just one of the coaches reported to be about to take his job.
After the game the master coach claimed to be isolated.
"That's what I love about our club right now,'' said Bennett when quizzed about the latest coaching machinations.
"You can tell me things I haven't heard of. You're better informed than I am."
Bennett might be a gormless victim or merely losing a power struggle he initiated. But that one of the games most esteemed figures is now seen as a liability stubbornly clinging to his job at the club he helped build says more about the game's ability to create reputations than the honours bestowed on so-called immortals at glittering ceremonies.
At Manly, Trent Barrett remains obliged to coach next year despite having given his notice — a seemingly wise pre-emptive strike aimed at retaining his reputation while the faction-riddled Sea Eagles destroy their own.
As ever the finger of blame moves faster than Dickie Bird's deadly digit with the pitch seaming. Barrett's failure to pay homage to club powerbroker Bob Fulton is reportedly a factor for his hasty retreat.
Whatever the reason, Manly seems like another club hopelessly divided against itself due to governance that makes a coach's already difficult job even more difficult.
In that regard, it is somewhat ironic that favourite son Des Hasler is being promoted as a potential saviour for Manly.
Hasler is a wonderful coach whose downfall came when he attained too much power at the Bulldogs when he needed a firm executive structure to keep him focussed on what he does best.
Melbourne Storm's coach of 16 years Craig Bellamy put it best when asked about the coaching instability.
"All those traits we want in our players are not the traits the leaders of our game are showing."
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Interesting...
The AFL is a league for professionals, managed by professionals. The NRL is a league for professionals managed by amateur”s. Been that way for decades