A duck walks into a bar and asks: "Got any Bread?"
Barman says: "No."
Duck says: "Got any bread?"
Barman says: "No."
Duck says: "Got any bread?"
Barman says: "No, we have no bread."
Duck says: "Got any bread?"
Barman says: "No, we haven't got any bread!"
Duck says: "Got any bread?"
Barman says: "No, are you deaf?! We haven't got any bread, and if you ask me again and I'll nail your dang beak to the bar you irritating dang duck!"
Duck says: "Got any nails?"
Barman says: "No"
Duck says: "Got any bread?
Replies
The three little pigs went out for dinner one night. The waiter came and took their drink orders. "I want a Sprite," said the first little piggie. "I would like to have a Coke," said the second little piggie. "I want a beer and lots of beer!" replied the third little piggie!
The drinks were brought and the waiter took their dinner orders. "I want a big, thick steak," said the first little piggie. "I want the salad plate," said the second little piggie. "I want a beer and lots of beer!" said the third little piggie!
The meals were brought out and a little while later the waiter approached the table and asked if the piggies would like any dessert. "I would like a banana split," said the first little piggie. "I want cheesecake," said the second little piggie. "I want a beer and lots of beer!" exclaimed the third little piggie!
"Pardon me for asking," said the waiter to the third little piggie, but why have you only ordered beer all evening?"
The third piggie says...
"Well somebody has to wee, wee, wee all the way home!"
Terminated!
Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other outside the operating room---the first surgeries of the day.
The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?"
The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous."
The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and Ice Cream. It's a breeze."
The second kid then asks, "What are you here for?"
The first kid says, "A circumcision."
"Whoa!" the second kid replies. "Good luck buddy. I had that done when I was born. Couldn't walk for a year."
LOLLLL
However, I think they may be either hard of hearing or something else. The reason I say this is that for my 40th birthday party that the whole street came to, they bought me a Rolex. Couldn't understand why they chose that. They had even asked me what I wanted as a gift, and I took that opportunity as every man would.
I told them "I wanna watch".
https://youtu.be/LHncWfrCgqk
What do you call a lesbian's toilet?
Gai Waterhouse.
A car battery and a bra walk into a bar.
The bra walks up to the bar and says "Two beers please".
The bartender looks at the bra and says "Sorry, I am going to have to ask you both to leave."
The bra replies "what are you talking about we just got here?"
Barmen says "Well you are off your tits and your mate looks like he is going to start something."
Thank you, thank you. I will be here all week try the chicken.
-
1
-
2
of 2 Next