Heartless

 I have had my heart operation and I can report the the rumour of my recovery is greatly exaggerated! I am at home now--in one day and out the next. They don`t---about these days.

After coming out of the anaesthetic the surgeon said-- "Mr  Lloyd you don`t have one." I said - "Don`t have what?" He said- "You don't have a heart!" " I don`t have a heart?" He said, "No, you are heartess!" I replied, "A lot of people think that. If I don`t have a heart what is that beating in my chest? He said, "In your chest?" "Yes what is that beating in my chest? "He said I was only checking in your stomach! "In what university did you do your heart studies? I demanded. "The Bob Jones University of Alabama, he whimpered

That fits I sad." Doctor I really don't care if I don`t have a heart, because  my heart has always been my second favourite organ. " He replied " Your second favourite organ? What is you favourite organ? "I am not going to tell you because you will go searching in the wrong place!" Then, bang, I aworked from the anaesthetic. It all had been a dream--I think. I woke just as they were stitching me up. Not a pleasant site but in my state, nothing to retch about. In two and a half hours they had installed a pacemaker under my clavicle. I was taken to my ward and told to stay in bed for four hours in which time I was pestered more times than should have by the nursing staff. Next day I was turfed out with a box of electronics which checks my pacemaker 24/7  and reports the results to the hospital! I am monited for the rest of my life. 1984 indeed? For all that we are lucky to live in the 21st or is it 22nd century.

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  • Mods..
  • Rob have you really had the pacemaker put in or are you just having a laugh here?

    If so all the best with the recovery and i admire your humour in such a tough time lol, great to see its all gone well.

    • Robbie hope you still have the poetic edge with your mechanical heart lol
    • Yes Snake I have it in me ridgy dig. thanks for your thoughts.

  • Carloeel : I poured out my heart to you and look what happened! I still have my book of poems . There is sure to be some suitable for you . Watch this space.

  • always an eel: No, it is not fully charged most of the time. If it gets too low they take you in and install a new pacemaker! However,they say it is good for 5 to 10 years. My heart specialist said they are good for 15 years!

    Either way, they will see me out. Thanks for your best wishers.

  • Mate that sucker will get a workout being a Parra supporter. Hope you got the one with the heavy duty battery.
    •  Phil Mann thank you. I may have to pick my games with care.

  • Rest up Robert, hope your feeling 100% very soon. Hopefully the eels don't stress you out to much this year.
    • ONTHaEELS : Thank you for your good advice--my son has already put that restriction upon me.! II have watch the Eels for so long that I know there will be periods of stress.We fans must stiffen our resolve at those times, and in the end things will come out well.

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