We host our greatest and longest foe this afternoon. Can our brave 1986 premiership warriors inspire us?
"It's come without warning," Gus Gould told us earlier this week.
He was not referring to our injury list that is around half our squad. A M*A*S*H Unit.
He was talking about this year's madness. The huge increase in restarts and pedantic refereering this year. Manufacturing the Game. Ricky Stuart agrees. He said it's changed the "fabric of the game". Mike Meehall Wood, an insightful anaylst, calls it "enshittification".
The game is on overdrive like never before. The traffic cops have waved their arms off, and no-one knows what's happening and no-one is wearing seatbelts. Welcome to V'landy's Universe.
The Eels' demoralizing 52-10 loss to the Titans last week, stands in stark contrast to the Dogs' upset win against the Panthers; hot premiership favorites. But even more to the Eels 4-2 nail-bitting win over the Dogs in the 1986 decider.
In 1986, most games were decided by 1–12 points. Most were competitive.
Blowouts (20+) happened about 1 in 5 games.
In 2026 to date, blowouts happen 1 in every 2 games.
Games are now rarely built or lost over 80 minutes. They’re lost in bursts of 5-10 minutes of momentum. Restarts. Speed. Fatigue. Death Zones murdering defences.
Teams
Eels 16th vs Dogs 7th: Sunday, 19 April 2026, CommBank Stadium, 4:05pm (AEDT)
Referee: Liam Kennedy (Referee), Jon Stone (Touch Judge), Grant Atkins (Bunker)
Weather: Sunny, clear, 19–21°C, SE 19-33km/h Humidity 48%
Sportsbet: Dogs $1.21, Eels $4.45. Eels slumped to $126 this week, second-last in premiership market, with the Dragons at $501.
Eels: 1. Joash Papali’i 2. Brian Kelly 3. Viliami Penisini 19. Araz Nanva 5. Josh Addo-Carr 6. Ronald Volkman 7. Mitchell Moses 8. Luca Moretti 9. Ryley Smith 10. Junior Paulo 11. Charlie Guymer 12. Jack Williams 13. Dylan Walker
Bench: 14. Tallyn Da Silva 15. Saxon Pryke 16. Jack de Belin 17. Toni Mataele 18. Teancum Brown 20. Lorenzo Talataina 21. Jezaiah Funa-Luta
Reserves/Cut: 4. Sean Russell 22. Mohamed Alameddine
Head Coach: Jason Ryles.
Bulldogs: 1. Connor Tracey 2. Jacob Kiraz 3. Enari Tuala 4. Bronson Xerri 5. Marcelo Montoya 6. Matt Burton 7. Lachlan Galvin 8. Samuel Hughes 9. Bailey Hayward 10. Leo Thompson 11. Viliame Kikau 12. Jacob Preston 13. Jaeman Salmon
Bench: 14. Kurt Mann 15. Sitili Tupouniua 16. Harry Hayes 17. Jake Turpin 19. Jonathan Sua 20. Lipoi Hopoi 21. Josh Curran
Reserves/Cut: 22. Alekolasimi Jones 23. Stephen Crichton
Head Coach: Cameron Ciraldo.
Stat Attack
• The Eels have lost their last 3-straight against the Dogs.
• The Eels last beat the Dogs in 2024. And 1986.
• The Eels have leaked 122 points in three-straight losses at CommBank.
• Josh Addo-Carr has scored 11 tries in his last 8 games at CommBank.
• Enari Tuala has scored 6 tries in six games against the Eels.
• Will Penisini has scored 6 tries in 8 games against the Bulldogs.
Moses in the M*A*S*H Unit
“I’ve never really experienced or been a part of a team where we’re so injury bashed up. It’s a different challenge for myself in my football career." Mitch Moses admitted earlier this week.
“Being the captain, it’s something I’m excited for, to try to get us out of it. We’re all walking forward to it, there’s no hiding. It’s clear we weren’t happy with the performance on the weekend, so we don’t want that to happen again.
“Having young kids in, you don’t want to lose your head too much and then it filters down. I’m definitely taking a lot of lessons out of how I’ve been in the past and trying to be better there.
"We’ve got to be better as a whole team; it wasn’t just one person, it was everyone.
Low on troops. Low on Belief. Low on Cohesion and combinations, we're exposing weak-links across the park.
“We’re going to walk forward to the fire and see how we go," Moses said channeling Mr Pepetual Motion.
M*A*S*H's Hawkeye has an additional suggestion: “Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice: pull down your pants and slide on the ice."
The Rise of Blowouts (20+ margins, R1-R6)
| Yr | Games | No. | Ratio | % |
| 1986 | 36 | 7 | 1 in 5.1 | 19% |
| 2020 | 48 | 10 | 1 in 4.8 | 21% |
| 2021 | 48 | 14 | 1 in 3.4 | 29% |
| 2022 | 48 | 9 | 1 in 5.3 | 19% |
| 2023 | 48 | 11 | 1 in 4.4 | 23% |
| 2024 | 48 | 13 | 1 in 3.7 | 27% |
| 2025 | 48 | 16 | 1 in 3.0 | 33% |
| 2026 | 48 | 23 | 1 in 2.1 | 48% |
Slow Death Of Close Games (1-12 points, R1-R6)
| Yr | % games | Ratio |
| 1986 | 69% | 1 in 1.4 |
| 2020 | 65% | 1 in 1.5 |
| 2021 | 54% | 1 in 1.9 |
| 2022 | 63% | 1 in 1.6 |
| 2023 | 56% | 1 in 1.8 |
| 2024 | 54% | 1 in 1.9 |
| 2025 | 46% | 1 in 2.2 |
| 2026 | 35% | 1 in 2.8 |
The poles have swapped. The axis reversed.
Replies
Great write up HOE. Love the MASH parallel. Hopefully we can also find ways to laugh through the misery.
I can't make it to the game today and will be resigned to watching on my phone. Hopefully the screen is too small for me to see the scoreboard!
What matters most for me today is showing a big change in attitude from last week. The green shoots of a new culture have to start showing. In the famous words of Rocky: "It ain't about how hard you hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward."
Let's see if we can start moving forward this week.
Well HOE youve got the blood pumping this morning. What's going to happen God only knows. All i know is is she who must obeyed and i will be in our usual seats hoping for a miracle with everything thing that's been happening in our club. One thing I will say its the changes that have come into our game as you say ian my humble opinion are not good for the players and us Fans . Thanks for your the effort you put into these posts and in ending God Give us Strength just my humble opinion
Excellent write-up, HOE! Thankyou as always for the effort.
Good to see Gould & Ricky Stuart commenting on the direction of the game in 2026, and with injury tolls growing rapidly, hopefully all clubs start 'applying the blowtorch' on the NRL to stop this - watching games decided by ridiculous set restarts & injury tolls is dangerous and it's not entertaining.
As for today, really hope to see a reaction from the side to JR - a repeat in effort & attitude could be concerning - but expecting a far more focussed & spirited, albeit MASH team, today.
Bulldogs 32 - Eels 16 (in a brave effort).
Great write up hoe! Yes something needs to change. Hoping the new recruits have big games. 🙏
The enshittification of everything continues apace...Yay for profit extraction!!!
Games are now rarely built or lost over 80 minutes...that's ok because I can't stand watching a full 80 min of this WWE bullshit.
The Bulldogs at -12.5 looks the best bet so far this season. Even though the Bulldogs have struggled in recent seasons to score points, the Eels extremely poor defence this year has been embarrassing. A third 50 points plus against the Eels after 7 games wouldn't surprise me at all. The Eels need a massive clean out and several heavy defeats will make this happen sooner rather than later.
For the first time in a long time I really want to avoid watching this afternoon 😞
Maybe a couple of bourbons may help us through it Carlo 🥃🥃🥃🥃🥃🥃🥃
Dogs by 40
Luckily Owen is helping us avoid the dreaded spoon 🥄 🤣🤣🤣
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