Game Day Blog R7 v Dogs: The M*A*S*H Unit

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We host our greatest and longest foe this afternoon. Can our brave 1986 premiership warriors inspire us?

"It's come without warning," Gus Gould told us earlier this week. 

He was not referring to our injury list that is around half our squad. A M*A*S*H Unit.

He was talking about this year's madness.  The huge increase in restarts and pedantic refereering this year. Manufacturing the Game. Ricky Stuart agrees. He said it's changed the "fabric of the game". Mike Meehall Wood, an insightful anaylst, calls it "enshittification". 

The game is on overdrive like never before. The traffic cops have waved their arms off, and no-one knows what's happening and no-one is wearing seatbelts. Welcome to V'landy's Universe.

The Eels' demoralizing 52-10 loss to the Titans last week, stands in stark contrast to the Dogs' upset win against the Panthers; hot premiership favorites. But even more to the Eels 4-2 nail-bitting win over the Dogs in the 1986 decider. 

In 1986, most games were decided by 1–12 points. Most were competitive. 

Blowouts (20+) happened about 1 in 5 games.

In 2026 to date, blowouts happen 1 in every 2 games.

Games are now rarely built or lost over 80 minutes. They’re lost in bursts of 5-10 minutes of momentum. Restarts. Speed. Fatigue. Death Zones murdering defences.

Teams

Last hour shuffle. For the Eels, Jack De Belin starts at lock. Dylan Walker to bench. Araz Nanva came in for Russell, yesterday. For the Dogs, Josh Curran comes in at centre for Enari Tuala who is cut. 

Eels 16th vs Dogs 7th: Sunday, 19 April 2026, CommBank Stadium, 4:05pm (AEDT)
Referee: Liam Kennedy (Referee), Jon Stone (Touch Judge), Grant Atkins (Bunker)
Weather: Sunny, clear, 19–21°C, SE 19-33km/h Humidity 48%
Sportsbet: Dogs $1.21, Eels $4.45. Eels slumped to $126 this week, second-last in premiership market, with the Dragons at $501.

Eels: 1. Joash Papali’i 2. Brian Kelly 3. Viliami Penisini 19. Araz Nanva 5. Josh Addo-Carr 6. Ronald Volkman 7. Mitchell Moses 8. Luca Moretti 9. Ryley Smith 10. Junior Paulo 11. Charlie Guymer 12. Jack Williams 16. Jack de Belin
Bench: 13. Dylan Walker 14. Tallyn Da Silva 15. Saxon Pryke 17. Toni Mataele 18. Teancum Brown  20. Lorenzo Talataina  
Reserves/Cut: 4. Sean Russell 21. Jezaiah Funa-Luta 22. Mohamed Alameddine

Head Coach: Jason Ryles.

Bulldogs: 1. Connor Tracey 2. Jacob Kiraz 21. Josh Curran 4. Bronson Xerri 5. Marcelo Montoya 6. Matt Burton 7. Lachlan Galvin 8. Samuel Hughes 9. Bailey Hayward 10. Leo Thompson 11. Viliame Kikau 12. Jacob Preston 13. Jaeman Salmon
Bench: 14. Kurt Mann 15. Sitili Tupouniua 16. Harry Hayes 17. Jake Turpin 19. Jonathan Sua 20. Lipoi Hopoi 
Reserves/Cut 3. Enari Tuala  22. Alekolasimi Jones 23. Stephen Crichton

Head Coach: Cameron Ciraldo.

Stat Attack

• The Eels have lost their last 3-straight against the Dogs.
• The Eels last beat the Dogs in 2024. And 1986.
• The Eels have leaked 122 points in three-straight losses at CommBank.
• Josh Addo-Carr has scored 11 tries in his last 8 games at CommBank.
• Enari Tuala has scored 6 tries in six games against the Eels.
• Will Penisini has scored 6 tries in 8 games against the Bulldogs. 

Moses in the M*A*S*H Unit 

“I’ve never really experienced or been a part of a team where we’re so injury bashed up. It’s a different challenge for myself in my football career." Mitch Moses admitted earlier this week.

“Being the captain, it’s something I’m excited for, to try to get us out of it. We’re all walking forward to it, there’s no hiding. It’s clear we weren’t happy with the performance on the weekend, so we don’t want that to happen again.

“Having young kids in, you don’t want to lose your head too much and then it filters down. I’m definitely taking a lot of lessons out of how I’ve been in the past and trying to be better there.

"We’ve got to be better as a whole team; it wasn’t just one person, it was everyone.

Low on troops. Low on Belief. Low on Cohesion and combinations, we're exposing weak-links across the park.  

“We’re going to walk forward to the fire and see how we go," Moses said channeling Mr Pepetual Motion.

M*A*S*H's Hawkeye has an additional suggestion: “Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice: pull down your pants and slide on the ice."

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The Rise of Blowouts (20+ margins, R1-R6)

Yr Games No.  Ratio  %
1986 36 7 1 in 5.1 19%
2020 48 10 1 in 4.8 21%
2021 48 14 1 in 3.4 29%
2022 48 9 1 in 5.3 19%
2023 48 11 1 in 4.4 23%
2024 48 13 1 in 3.7 27%
2025 48 16 1 in 3.0 33%
2026 48 23 1 in 2.1 48%

 

Slow Death Of Close Games (1-12 points, R1-R6)

Yr % games Ratio 
1986 69% 1 in 1.4
2020 65% 1 in 1.5
2021 54% 1 in 1.9
2022 63% 1 in 1.6
2023 56% 1 in 1.8
2024 54% 1 in 1.9
2025 46% 1 in 2.2
2026 35% 1 in 2.8

 

The poles have swapped. The axis reversed.

 

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Replies

  • Teams finalized. JDB starts at lock. Brown & Lorenzo retained on the bench.

    Curran at centre for Tuala. 

  • Just imagine: Eels get through the game without losing a player for a) rest of game, and/or b) weeks or months, or c) rest of season. Just imagine!

    Suspect Dogs ~ 38+, Eels randomly < 20. On the positive side I'm also predicting another first grade debutant. Isn't that normally a feel good story?!

  • Stand up and fight today boys. Good luck.

  • Reckon if they can get within 30 it would be a great effort for mine. Hope the dogs fans and Goould  consider what their side could do if they were 13 players down and show some kind of mild understanding. Probably won't.

    God please bless 'em 💙💛

     

     

    • Where is Parra Jesus when we need him ???!!!!!

      • Prob got his hands full in USA :(

        • Oh that's gold mace 

          he's stopping the orange one rage tweeting 

  • Anyone else at the game notice that Brian Kelly is sponsored by 1800 POOMAN? 💩💩🤣🤣

    • Haha! Excellent marketing

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