Carrie Bickmore: ‘We all need to be kinder right now’
Carrie Bickmore is proud to call herself a mega-fan of singer Sam Smith. But when she recently got the chance to interview them in person, she had to confront some outdated assumptions – and now she is sharing what she learnt.
Never has the phrase “we fear what we don’t know” been more appropriate than in the lead-up to my recent interview with my music crush Sam Smith.
In September last year, the UK singer-songwriter announced via Instagram they were non-binary. A non-binary person is someone who doesn’t identify as exclusively a man or a woman.
“I’ve decided I am changing my pronouns to THEY/THEM. After a lifetime of being at war with my gender I’ve decided to embrace myself for who I am, inside and out,” Sam explained.
For a child who came out when they were just 10 years of age, but didn’t meet another gay man until they were 19, it must have been a liberating announcement for Sam.
But the sense of elation for Sam translated into anxiety for me as I prepped for my interview, embarking on a crash course in gender fluidity, terrified I might unknowingly offend one of my favourite people.
“Never has the phrase “we fear what we don’t know” been more appropriate than in the lead-up to my recent interview with my music crush Sam Smith.” (Picture: Cameron Grayson for Stellar)
Sam Smith at the Mardi Gras parade in February. (Picture: AAP Image/James Gourley)Despite my best intentions, every time I mentioned the interview to people, I’d stuff up the pronouns. “He’s had a fascinating life,” I’d say. “Sorry ‘they’ have had...” “His new music is incredible – argh! – ‘their’ new music,” and so it went on.
There was a huge amount of confusion from colleagues and friends as I tried and often failed to use the correct pronouns. Some hadn’t seen Sam’s announcement, others didn’t understand what a pronoun was, let alone get their head around the use of the word THEY in that context.
I confessed to Sam during the interview that I kept getting it wrong, and to my surprise they admitted they trip up, too.
“I am a human being,” Sam said, “I have been called he and him since the day I was born, 27 years ago.” Sam’s honesty was disarming and refreshing. Apparently, even their own mum still gets it wrong sometimes.
It struck me that intent and kindness is what’s needed as we navigate this complex new world together, the permission to make mistakes, a generosity of spirit from everyone.
The more Sam spoke, my initial worry was overtaken by a desire to know more. To understand their world. “All I can say is that when people use my pronouns correctly, it’s a wonderful feeling. I feel safe and I feel happy and I feel completely seen,” Sam said.
This is not about us, it’s about THEM. If using the correct pronouns – however tricky it can be to retrain our thought process – makes someone feel seen, then what more reason do we need.
Sam discovered they were non-binary while on tour in Brisbane a few years ago. They said in some ways it’s easier for them to be their true self here in Australia than back home in the UK. That’s something we should feel proud of.
Our big beautiful inclusive country and its incredible LGBTQI+ community wrapped its loving arms around Sam and allowed them to be their true self. Everyone deserves to feel seen.
Carrie co-hosts The Project, 6.30pm weeknights on Network 10, and Carrie & Tommy, 3pm weekdays on the Hit Network.
Replies
I don't care about the current situation in the world no more and Carrie has helped me see the light .
Pop's we have ,
People dying
People who have lost their jobs and more will continue
People who will lose their businesses and end up in financial ruin .
Domestic violence will go through the roof with all the financial stress people will be under .
People will suffer from deep depression from all the financial and social effects of this virus .
Then we all have to worry about how life will be once this is all over and we have this absolute fucking air head of a woman dribbling about how we have to change the way we spent to cater for people who don't want to identify as male or female . How lucky all you old bastards were to of been in you're prime in the 50s 60s and 70s when society had standards .
Yew betcha Fong
We could say Poofta and everyone knew what we meant - Lesbo was international language and then we had Queers (the unspecified cross dressers) Trannies were not so common but always around somewhere.
We could call Black people black - wogs were wogs, refos's were the original $10 per tcket boat people from somewhere "over the otherside"
We had the Graham Kenedy's with their crow calls, Benny Hill and so many others - films called Wog Boy and Wogs like us and guess what - we got on with the lot of them - we didn't have separation or division we said it like it was and everyone respeceted that.
You could get in a punch up down the pub and the loser would buy the beers when it was over.
Sam whoever he is, is a bloke with "different" preferences - nothing more and nothing less.
BTW who the heck is Carrie Brickmore anyway?
Suddenly, catching the Dellwood bus down to Granville Pool has become a life highlight compared to the drivel in this article.
Oh for simpler times again. This will set the world back 50 years. If there is anything you can do for your fellow man, now is the time to do it.
I have noticed that the much maligned Clive Palmer has donated $1 million dollars to provide the Malaria tablets that appear to help enormously and he said he is prepared to spend his $8 billon dollars to help save Australian lives. Suddenly he is not the arse that some thought he was.
Cometh the hour cometh the man. Help your neighbour any way you can.
In the sixties we had it drummed into us to wash our hands, always carry a hankie to cough into (I still do carry a hankie but I don't use Californian Poppy any more) and don't spit. We got through Polio and TB and we will get through this but it will take its toll on the economy.
This virus will ensure that standards will return Fong. There will be no time for PC bullshit and we will go back to having a self sufficient manufacturing industry. The economists that preached Comparitive Advantage have been proven wrong because they didn't allow for Pandemics. Bring back manufacturing and Tarrifs. We will be rebuilding from scratch
The Dellwood bus to the Granville Pool - oh for such days again.
BTW the land around the Granville pool has been sold off to developers who built massive future slum highrises and left only a puddle for kids to wade in.
Bet you also went to the Riv in Parramatta on Friday nights to dance to the Allusions and the Masters Apprentices.
Is that Saint’s coach?
My head hurts just having read this article. I'm not sure who the bigger dickhead is - Carrie Bickmore or Sam Smith.
Lets not
If sam is unsure if he is male or female, unless he is greek, the 3 day growth and hairy chest might give it away.
Shes a complete imbecile, so is Waleed, both should be taken out to sea and dumped.
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