Joke of the week

Man and he wife sitting watching tv then Lady go oh my God i pain in the belly she goes again oh my God i got a pain in the belly 

Husband say to the dr there is a new dr just two house down from here go to see him and tell them you in pain

So she does then about half hour later she come back slammed the door and throws her self down

And her husband say did you get bad news

She said NO i didnt the dr told me to take off all my clothes off lay down on the table with my legs open 

He was looking between my legs and said gee that looks nice i like to full that up with ice-cream and lick it all up so i jumped up and got dressed come home

The husband said.. DID HE SAY THAT THE DIRTY CUNT WILL IM GOING TO SEE HIM ABOUT THAT

as he walk to the door he stop and thinking for a sec and then he walk back and sat down next to hes wife she looked at at him and said

I throught you were going to see the dr

The husband said ye i was but any man can eat that much ice-cream is to big for me

You need to be a member of 1Eyed Eel to add comments!

Join 1Eyed Eel

Votes: 0
Email me when people reply –

Replies

  • This reply was deleted.
    • I love that joke. I have been saying for 20 years it never got popular but always gets a laugh.

  • Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife. "You come to the front door of the apartment. I am in apartment 301. There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 301. I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow, push 3. When you get out, I'm on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell."

    "Grandma, that sounds easy but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?

    “What... You're coming empty handed

    • The worst joke I've ever heard 

      • You needed to understand Arnie Colin, Arnie was slightly challenged but had a wonderful self depracating sense of humour, a bit like Wiz asking his wife for an extra 50 under the curtain in the massage parlour......true story!

        • O K poppa but still the worst joke .one of the best I thought was the bloke not wanting to go in the army and got under what he thought was the nuns dress .

          • Yes, forgot about that one!.....Arnie probably does not have classic's as much as being so bad that you cannot help but laugh! Lol

      • maybe something to your taste Colin

        10892673675?profile=RESIZE_584x

        • 10892673495?profile=RESIZE_710x

  • https://youtube.com/shorts/w7Q5x6W0VVg?feature=share

    There's a million of these ...

     

     

  • This is one of my all time favourites 

     

     Danny cannot make his wife orgasm, so he goes to the doctor for some advice...

    He goes to the doctor and says, "Look, I just can't bring my wife to orgasm in bed, it's a real problem."

    The doctor says, "Well, is it too warm?"

    "Yes, it's absolutely sweltering"

    "Then get an air conditioner"

    "I can't afford air conditioner doc, I'm too poor"

    "Well, Danny, do you have a good friend, I mean a real close friend?"

    "Yeah, I've got a close friend, Frank"

    "Well, ask your friend Frank to stand over you and your wife with a towel, wafting you both to cool you down, that might help."

    So, Danny asks Frank for this favor, who then agrees to help him. That night, Danny is in bed with his wife, pounding away with Frank fanning them with the towel but it's doing nothing for her.

    Danny says, "Well this isn't working, let's swap." So Danny takes the towel and starts wafting Frank, who is now making love to Danny's wife. Not long after, Danny's wife goes "Oooh... oh that's it, I'm about to cum, I'm going to cum!" And has the biggest squirt you've ever seen. 

    Frank and Danny's wife both look awkwardly at Danny , then a after a uncomfortable silence ,

    Danny shouts, triumphantly, "You see, Frank?! That's how you waft a fucking towel!"

This reply was deleted.

Latest comments

Wizardssleeves official receipts replied to Hell On Eels's discussion Kirk, Part 3: The Deep Divide
"So HOE, what's your thoughts on the "tolerant " burning the flag in public and the support for them to do so on the likes of the ABC and we'll known left leaning platforms  ?  Does this not make you start to question the values of those leading the…"
12 minutes ago
Nitram replied to Clintorian's discussion Depth looking good with Volkman and Twiddle on Fire in NSW Cup Finals
"Yeah great point, depth is very underrated. It is definitely more important than having one or even two absolute superstars in your side. Looking back, it is crazy to think we went into 2024 without a replacement halfback or five/eigth. Some will…"
20 minutes ago
Prof. Daz replied to Hell On Eels's discussion Kirk, Part 3: The Deep Divide
"HKF, it is unclear what you mean. Can you clarify?
After CK's murder, the right launched definitively claimed it was "the left" that was culpable. Are you denying this?
Also you say there was a receipt to the effect that "the killer was a right wing…"
24 minutes ago
Wizardssleeves official receipts replied to Hell On Eels's discussion Kirk, Part 3: The Deep Divide
"I dunno, I must live in some trans paradise down here where they don't get assaulted , nor abused, and are working in every other shop I walk into .  
It's almost as if they're socially accepted and the horrible universe where trans kids daily…"
26 minutes ago
Prof. Daz replied to Hell On Eels's discussion Kirk, Part 3: The Deep Divide
"It would be more accurate to say that disputes over what constitutes identity and how identity should relate to politics is important to understand if one wants to understand political conflict. For instance, identity politics as calls for equality,…"
30 minutes ago
Wizardssleeves official receipts replied to Hell On Eels's discussion Kirk, Part 3: The Deep Divide
"I don't know, how flaky are you ?  I'm not religious , in fact I'm the complete opposite of religious.  I think religion is dumb. However I liked Kirk and appreciate the fact he had some very wise views , whilst also keeping me amazed how someone so…"
41 minutes ago
Prof. Daz replied to Hell On Eels's discussion Kirk, Part 3: The Deep Divide
"Bob, once you give up on a solution that matches liberal-democratic-secular norms, whatever solution one has arrived at can be dressed up in all kinds of rationality but it will be pernicious. Thinking the only option is to amplify violence is to…"
41 minutes ago
Nightmare Off-Season replied to Hell On Eels's discussion Kirk, Part 3: The Deep Divide
"Thanks MeelK and likewise, as HoE said, you're always very balanced.
Randy, I get it, genuinely. You're a highly intelligent person, and your views on many things clearly come from being such a deep thinker, as opposed to being reactionary or…"
41 minutes ago
Prof. Daz replied to Hell On Eels's discussion Kirk, Part 3: The Deep Divide
"LOL, Randy. Subtle."
45 minutes ago
Prof. Daz replied to Hell On Eels's discussion Kirk, Part 3: The Deep Divide
"Meelk and Anguilliade, I would be happy with a new flag, but I doubt our contemporary politics could achieve enough social license to change it, or at least to radically change it. I left the union jack off my body decades ago when inking some…"
45 minutes ago
Prof. Daz replied to Hell On Eels's discussion Kirk, Part 3: The Deep Divide
"Meelk, is there in fact a thing as "the flag itself"? It is ultimately a piece of cloth with a design that has some set colour scheme. We bring meaning to that combination of cloth, design and colour. We load the object with symbolic value. BUT "we"…"
49 minutes ago
Zip zip replied to Yeah Man's discussion Sign Pezet Asap
"Pezet to me is similar to Hawkins but with a better kicking game. Don't know if he would suit Moses, unless Moses reverts to more of a 5/8, with emphasis on his running game.
Wishart on the other hand would be better suited to the Eels halves.
 "
49 minutes ago
Prof. Daz replied to Hell On Eels's discussion Kirk, Part 3: The Deep Divide
"Six pages in and this blog is mostly fair remarks. In that spirit, what happens when we unpack the evidence in to-date and ask does ANY of it justify the public call by Republican leaders and influencers for open war on "the left", mass censorship…"
1 hour ago
Richard Jackson replied to Clintorian's discussion Depth looking good with Volkman and Twiddle on Fire in NSW Cup Finals
"Yeah it was brilliant to see Twidle and Volk stand-out again Clintorian.
And i was amazed we held on to the ball for almost all the game.
Twidle putting his winger over twice early settled us down and allowed us tp play footy instead of catch-up.
I…"
1 hour ago
Randy Handlinger replied to Hell On Eels's discussion Kirk, Part 3: The Deep Divide
"It only takes one clip that resonates and you're instantly swinging
How fucking flakey do you think I am Wiz?"
1 hour ago
Randy Handlinger replied to Hell On Eels's discussion Kirk, Part 3: The Deep Divide
"Agreed Meelk, the things our Flag represents(democracy, egalitarianism and cold beer) are what have me looking at Trump and the USRight and thinking about the fact that I may have to actively defend those things here. "
1 hour ago
More…

 

We Could Of Won This Year

If only we didn't lose Moses at the beginning of the year we could of won this comp this year. The form we were in. The quality of the finals from all teams this weekend has been the most average I can remember. Please anyone but the Broncos win it.…

Read more…
14 Replies · Reply by Mark yesterday
Views: 814

<script src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js"></script>
<!-- Sidebar -->
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<script>// <![CDATA[
(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});
// ]]></script>