Bali ?

Let me start by saying , I've never , ever wanted to go to this stinking Indonesian cesspool in my life. But now a bunch of the wife's pals have got into her head about a group holiday and I've been roped into agreeing to go. 

All I know is I don't want to stay in Kuta or anywhere there is a bunch of fuckwit Aussies being loud fuckwits , but I do want somewhere I can walk out of my hotel and have a drink and watch the footy etc without the town being a ghostown when the streetlights go out. Indians grabbing me and trying to sell me shit walking down the street doesn't phase me , just fuckwit tourists do. 

Anyone got any recommendations of hotels and areas ?  I'd honestiy rather go to Mt Druit for a holiday , so would love someone to assure me they have a particular location I'm going to love.  

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    • Unfortunately I have committed , Fongster .  You know what women are like with their FOMO when their girl pals are doing something .  My Mrs has always said she has zero interest in Bali . Then all of a sudden it's her must visit at any cost destination .  If only it was on her bucket list before it became an overpriced destination .  We could literally go to Hawaii for the same price as a 4th world dump .  

      I'm hoping someone can put my mind at ease and tell me there's a nice part I'd like with a bit of nightlife and a bar that's not overrun by fuckwits .  

      im being told Seminyak or Nusa Dua .  

  • The best position for what you want is the "Discovery" hotel.....Kartika Plaza .....brilliant Pool Bar with all the sports covered, you have a brilliant Australian Restaurant "The Bamboo" 200 metres down the road and the Sports Bar another 100 metres down. Of course the Hotel has 3 restaurants as well and is set on 5 acres and you are in the suburb of Tuban, 10 minutes from the Airport and 5 minutes from Kuta, you step out of your hotel, the oldest 5 star in Bali in to old and the new Bali. If your taking the kids you are 5 mins from the Waterbom Aquatic centre, the kids can stay there all day and have a ball and you will not be that far from them.

    If you are genuinely keen, stay away from Legian and Seminiak to avoid the ugly Australian and Fongy, come with me and I will show you some Italian Restaurants that will blow your Italian shoes and suits off.....which you can buy there incidently.

    PS Kartika is perfect as a central point with a group as the Pool Bar will handle large groups in the best social environment. Karen and me will be going back in May for a week but it will only be the 2 of us as she is still recovering from 3 major ops and we will therefore stay at Nusa Dua which is upmarket but not as friendly as Kartika. The Balinese are Hindu and lovely gentle people, the other half of the people are Javanese and they can be more difficult.

    You like Thailand ( Phuket) but Bali is now a lot different to what you remember it to be, do a day trip up to Sanur and go to one of the beach clubs....

    PS if you don't want to be exposed to tourists then don't go to South East Asia and by the way the sex trade in Bali is non existent compared to Thailand, so don't go there expecting happy ending massages. They are ( the Hindu's) quiet conservative and moral, the Javanese not quiet so. 

    • Kartika Plaza was the first place I ever stayed in Bali. Absolutely loved it. Been there a couple of times.

      Bali was convenient living in Port Hedland. Only 90 minutes flight from Hedland. I went there many times. Have not been there however for about 25 years. Would have changed I imagine.

      • Your A good judge JE

        I put up the wrong pictures before....these are the right ones

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        • 12386085488?profile=RESIZE_930x

          • Looks up my alley. Cheers Plop. 

            • No worries Wiz, I would love you to see a different side of Bali, it would seem that you now have a job of getting your wife's mate's out of the Bali Bogan area of Legian,  Kartika is reasonbly priced and if you take the family you can get a discovery suite for about $350 a night. That gives you 2 bedrooms, 2 Bathrooms a third toilet, Balcony and lounge/litchen area. If you are not taking kids, go for the ground floor Pool View rooms about $150 a night and it saves the stairs as the whole complex is only 4 stories high and the suites on the 3rd and Fourth levels, yes there are lifts but I always ended up using the stairs.

              My son when they go take a Discovery Suite and he goes with his wife and 3 kids 17,15 and 6. He just about lives in the Pool bar or alternatively the Sports Bar down the road and they love the Bamboo Restaurant which is Western Australian owned and you can get better steaks there than most places in Austraia.

              PS never seen an Indian on the street tugging at anyones shirt.....plenty of others but there is no Indian doing that as say against the Burmese in Phuket who are the dominant traders.

      • 🤙

  • Padma Resort, Legian Beach is the place to stay. We get the garden club chalet with VIP access. It's the kind of place that if you don't want to leave the resort you do not have to. It has multiple pools with a pool over looking the beach that is a kids free area with another swim up bar. You can head out the front gate to multiple bars and restaurants and also all of those cheap little clothing shops are within walking distance too

    15mins walk to the left on the beach and your in Kuta and 20-30mins walk to the right and your in Seminyak.

     Also get on the Bali bogans Facebook page and have a look through all the day trips and things to do

  • You wont enjoy Bali, no ladyboys to grope u like Phuket mate

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