What is the grosest thing your kid has done to you?

Okay this blog was prompted by a small occurrence over the weekend. My missus was in the shower and I was getting my 7 month old ready to chuck her in with her mum. So I do what I usually do, strip her down right in front of the bathroom door (my daughter not the missus), and then pick her up in the starkers. Her nappy was full so I wasn't too worried about anything but as I walk into the bathroom I feel some warm liquid hitting my feet. Because I'm a quick thinking bastard I quickly shift bub over the sink so she can finish off her own golden shower. Of course I get met with the biggest grin and giggle afterwards the cheeky shit.

Anyway that isn't the grossest thing. I have to say in 7 months of being a dad I think I've seen worse then some blokes in the wars. Pee, poo and vomit are all run of the mill. However about a month and half ago bub was sick after being at daycare for about 2 weeks. She had this chesty cough and was all full up with a cold. So anyway I had just got in from work and as you do quickly pulled of the shirt and tie so I'm just in my singlet. I pick up bubba to give her a hug and am met with this terrible coughing fit. She's really coughing and so I hold her up with her head against my chin patting her back. Again I think she is about to pass out from all this coughing as she is still going. Then all of a bloody sudden she hocks up this big phlem ball that any bloke would be proud of. I tell you I've seen shit in my time but the feeling of warm phlem running down your chest is something to behold. About 2 weeks on and multiple showers and I still feel unclean.

Anyway what is the grossest thing your kid has done to you? If not your own kid maybe a brother/sister, or cousin.

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Replies

Snakey - Sack Dylan Brown November 10, 2014 at 8:42pm

LOL funny blog Hamish, no kids for me.
Carloeel November 10, 2014 at 8:54pm

Been breech in my tummy back to front... Sat on my bladder so at eight months with a chest infection every time I coughed I wet my pants lol ... Then had to be manually turned from the outside of my stomach the right way - worst pain in life possible . Hmmmmm what else when he was three months old had to get a breast ultrasound and sprayed the radiographer with breast milk .... Think I win boys :-))))
- George Taylor > Carloeel November 10, 2014 at 9:05pm
  
  I don't know about you winning if you think your baby was inside your "Tummy"
- Hamish > Carloeel November 10, 2014 at 9:09pm
  
  I think you take the cake Carlo. I remember taking the missus to one of the ultrasounds where you have to drink water like an hour before you go. Lets just say we got halfway there and then had to go home and someone had to change their pants haha.
- Snakey - Sack Dylan Brown > Carloeel November 10, 2014 at 9:11pm
  
  I always wanted to be a breast ultrasound technician, now i want to be one even more.....:)
Waterboy November 10, 2014 at 9:03pm

been there.
Bup November 10, 2014 at 9:06pm

My daughter at about 22 months stuck her hand in her nappy. With her hands put shit over carpet,walls ,door, mirrored cupboards, bed ,toys clothes and herself all in her bedroom.I've never seen so much shit in my life. Middle of summer ,Im on the Gold Coast.The stench was incredible.We had to turn the air con off ,it wafted through the whole house. I have a daughter a couple of years older, so I was used to excrement, but this was on another level. The smell is imbedded in my brain. 5 years down the track it still makes me vomit in my mouth a little.the wife had scented candles burning for weeks.
- Snakey - Sack Dylan Brown > Bup November 10, 2014 at 9:08pm
  
  LOLL
- Hamish > Bup November 10, 2014 at 9:11pm
  
  Fark that's funny Ryan.
Waterboy November 10, 2014 at 9:17pm

Laying on my belly in bed and one of my boys jumped on my back, knees first into my spine. I couldn't walk for a week.

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