Eels Blogs

The following blog is written by Blue Eel with all good intentions to highlight and lighten our mood. It pays homage to the way fans are feeling right now. The use of the word Shit is an Australian colloquialism in line with our working man / working game origins, from a mob, that in the main originally arrived as convicts, thieves and cutthroats some 200-odd years ago. A blanket apology is given in advance to those that take offence by the use of the word Shit.

 Welcome to the Round 11 Eels vs Raiders game,  fellow 1EE's.

Kicking off on a cold Saturday night at 7.35pm down in the National Capital Canberra, some say a shit of place to visit in the wintery months, is where we find ourselves heading in what feels like the end of the road. The game that decides if our year is about to turn to shit.

We had such high expectations this year, finding ourselves coming off a Grandfinal,  like Holy shit how did we do that, now I for one have been reading about us all week, with the general consensus being that our team may Just Be Shit. Well Im not going to subscribe to that theory just yet so I call bullshit.

We head in to this game as rank outsiders.

Our Little General Mitch Moses suffering a head knock last week and given an 11 day mandatory stand down period. Now shit happens, we all know that, but this one is huge. Our coach " supervisor of the shitshow" has, as expected named Jake Arthur in the seven jersey. Shit a brick I hear most of our fans yelling from their homes, the kids ratshit and the coach is batshit crazy for putting him in.

A quick look through our roster in search of another option thows up some interesting arguments - young Brendan Hands was a halfback, Cartwright can play 5/8 with Dylan as half, these are only some of the ideas, that have been dismissed by our head coach, that some believe a total dipshit. I dont subscribe to that and believe its horse shit, perhaps this time Brad Arthur has measured reason. Jake Arthur may no longer just be dogshit, he is ranked amongst some of the leading halfbacks in NSW cup.  A look at his stats this year shows some huge improvements - 1st in line engagements, 2nd in Try assists, 3rd in linebreak assists, 2nd in kick metres, 1st in most runs just to name a few. Now of course Stats dont tell the whole story - No shit, I hear most of our supporters screaming, but can we dare to dream.

Jake Arthur will have to be at his very best if not even better then that, as this is simply a must win game, we sit 4 wins from 10 games there will be no place for chicken shit players,  a loss here with jack shit points and the Bunnies game next week, could see us at 4 from 12 and quite frankly in a bucket of shit that could prove impossible to overcome.

A loss here has the potential to place our board onto the path of blowing shit up and starting again. One gets the feeling that the coaching staff and the players will be put under enormous pressure from fans hanging shit should a loss occur this weekend.

This is a big game for us and Matto's 150th; no shitting around.

The Teams 

Gutherson at fullback has been dynamic this year, inspirational at times, his saving of tries and last ditch defensive efforts have kept us in the contest. He will have to take on even more this week, and attempt to subdue his Shit for brains cut-out passes that have included 3 intercept trys this year. Gutho has the wood on his counterpart Sebsation in workload and class. Gutho also steps up to take our kicks for goal this game. He sits on a 70% conversion rate, for us to shit it in he may have to kick better then that.  This is the sort of shit we have to get right. We have lost 4 games by no more then 4points and our worst defeat this year has been by 8 points. Its been a Shit day for every single one of them, as we have been in a winning position for all of them, if only we could cut out the dumb shit. The missed tackles, the questionable decisions, the dropped ball, all coach killers and shit that hurts us on the scoreboard.

Sivo/ Dunster vs Rapana / Hopoate - All is not as it seems, Sivo has been scoring trys left right and centre, but fans are calling for him to do shit, they are talking about the bustling runs from the back after kicks that are now nearly non existant, they are talking about his lack of desire to get back and help, his defensive reads, his lacklustre runs at the line. We all know that he is Built like a brick shithouse, and has the ability to have a huge presence. He will need to this week, throw away the dont give a shit attitude and get stuck in, we need him to go ape shit, and begin trampling the opposiiton in huge runs, getting us onto the front foot and giving us a start to the set with momentum.  Dunster has retained his spot this week and will have his hands full,  up against Hopoate. His defence has been passable in recent games but his speed in attack is very questionable and appears slow as shit. Coming back from an ACL is never fun, he dosnt appear up to first grade standard right now and that shits me.

Dylan Brown vs Jack Weighton. This is will be worth the entry price  , just to watch these two. Both players are hot shit property right now and are in form. Dylan played his best game for us last week in the loss to the Titans, a standout I thought that was heavily involved, try assists, trys, defensive reads, effort on effort his shit was red hot all game. Credit to him we need that again this week, it will be interesting to watch him play with a new halves pairing, will he play the same or take more responsibility. Jack Weighton will be there go to man, he will tear our shitup if left unattended. For us to win, this 5/8 battle shapes as crucial. The setups, the points , the attacking shapes will all begin with these two players. Is it wrong to want Weighton to eat shit and have Dylan dominate him all game.

Our forwards as usual will need to lay the platform. We find Davey retaining his spot on the edge with Hopgood at lock and Wiremu starting up front. BA has again gone with the old shit Hodgson as starting dummy half, and this shits me to tears. I cant help but think we have missed a trick here, on a number of levels. Hands seems to offer so much more, better defence, better service and faster speeds. Hodgson offers experience but this is failing to help our team out in the main. Our team looks better balanced and scores more points with less conceded when Hands is on the park compared to Hodgson. It leads fans to question does BA know his shit. 

Junior Paulo another built like the proverbial shithouse has gone missing the last few weeks, fans are calling out for the big fella to wind up and let shit loose. A devestating runner that of late has plodded to the line, turning his back ready for an offload more often then not. With RCG out, perhaps its time to roll the sleeves up, tuck the ball under his arm and bash the shit out of their forwards, this would surprise the shit out of them and get us onto the front foot. Leave the offloads in the main to our workhorse Hopgood. 

Our bench this week is very strong and should shit it in and overcome the Raiders bench. This is a point  of difference. They would have to be considered one of the best benchs as is in the competition. Our usual shit kicker bench where players get minimum time and look bored shitless, is no more. An argument can easily be made that our bench are actually better then the starters, last week certainly proved to be the case, when we defended better, attacked and scored more points when our bench players made their way onto the field. Is this BA's plan, to come from behind  again this week. Instead of a Oh shit sorry, and changing the starting side, BA has doubled down. Lets hope its not a shit for brains move and the game is all but gone before they get onto the park. Could there be a last minute change up?

The last 5 weeks has seen the Raiders Led by Ricky Stuart, the man some Eels fans silently think a shithead, the man that once had the reins of our Eels and sacked our squad via a light  projector before scurrying away, has his Raiders in shit hot form. The Raiders have won their last 4 from 4 scoring 105 points and conceding 88 points. In contrast, our Eels have won 3 from 5 scoring 145 points and conceding 90. It makes one wonder what the shit is going on. Why are we so far down the ladder we have a positive for and against but still find ourselves one win from the wooden spoon position. This year is literally a shit show,  we havnt had our shit together, making crucial mistakes at crucial times, and that shit hurts , we are yet to have any team completely dominate us. Remember our worst result this year was a loss by only 10 points. Still cacas though.

Let's not talk about the cacas in Canberra. It's best to view it bird's eye.

So there you have it, this week feels like the moment just before you go on life support, just before you have the shit kicked out of you, it's all hands on deck so to speak, a new half back, with our backs against the wall, standing on the edge of a pile of shit. Its for this reason that I believe we simply win. That and I want to stop feeling like shit. We are at our best when written off, when we are not expected to win, we seem to thrive on the theatre and we love to surprise the opposition. Our boys seem to rise to the occasion the harder it looks and the better the team. We have shown over the years that we can beat teams like Penrith and Melbourne when form dictates we cant, and we can struggle against the Tigers or Dogs when we should be putting a huge score on them. I can see the Raiders are a good team , but a team non the less that we can beat.

So have your say and let others hear your shit. Once again I offer my apologies for the use of the great Australian word shit, Id like to say tuff shit, but I don't mean it.

The time has come for our team to stand up and make us proud; before the shit hits the fan. The alternative is just too much to contemplate.