Storm Grand Final teamsheet

1Eyed Eel casts his one-eye over the Melbourne Storm grand final teamsheet. 1. Billy Slater Showed his true colours when Jarryd dominated the sook last time these two teams played, resorting to dog, niggling actions in a lame attempt to assert some authority on Hayne. Hayne, on the other hand, just asserted his authority by being fucking awesome. Is as much the number one fullback in Australia as I am Miss Australia. 2. Steve Turner Will follow in the footsteps of Hazem El Masri next year taking over the Dog's vacant flank position. Will follow in the footsteps of Hazem El Masri this week by getting creamed and also leaving his current club on a sour note. 3. Will Chambers Can't hack it in the NRL so is off to Rugby next year. Won't see which way Inu goes. 4. Greg Inglis Joel Reddy owned Inglis the last time these two teams played. Will be owned again. 5. Dane Nielsen Dane who? 6. Brett Finch Eels fans are very well versed with Finch's strengths and weaknesses. Weaknesses: Can't run. Can't pass. Can't tackle. Can't kick. Strengths: He's supposedly a pretty good bloke. 7. Cooper Cronk Robot boy has about as much creative flair as an accountant on valium. Has zero chance of conjuring away through the Eel's brick-wall defensive line up even with puppet master Bellamy tugging on his strings 8. Aiden Tolman Poor Tolman will find out why you don't send a boy in to do a man's job on Sunday 9. Cameron Smith Stop worrying about whether Billy Slater is going to lose his spot to Jarryd, Cam. You're starting to resemble yesterday's man, too. 10. Brett White White is going to be black and blue, with a healthy dose of red after the Eel's pummel him for his dog act on Cayless in 2007 11. Adam Blair Got to play front row for New Zealand when Fuifui switched allegiances to Tonga. Fuifui's back for the Kiwis now, so it's time for Blair to step aside again 12. Ryan Hoffman Became famous when he sat down in the middle of the field and wept like a baby after the Storm was beaten by the Broncos in 2006. Will be fun to watch again. 13. Dallas Johnson Has taken so many knocks to the head, he can barely see straight, never mind get a handle of the mighty Eels forwards 14. Ryan Hinchcliffe It's the players that the Eels reject, that makes the Eels the best. Couldn't get a start when he was at the Eels and wouldn't get a start now 15. Jeff Lima Used to be a decent player 16. Ryan Tandy The Storm think so much of this bloke, they haven't even bothered to give him a player profile on their official site

17. Scott Anderson Got his first taste of an NRL grand final when he made such an impact (not) last year in the Storm's 40 to nil drubbing by Manly. Doesn't it suck? Just when you get that bitter taste out of your mouth, you have to go through it all again!

"Paulo is a shadow of what he once was and is getting worse each year. He looks like he hates the collision these days. Sadly that is what he would display if kept around as a leader for our pack for others to follow. Sam T already seems to follow in…"

"Did you watch him play in this years final for Souths? He was owned by old man Gagai. Laurel went missing all game although he did pass the ball from dummy half a lot to the other outside backs to work it out of their end. Massive NO."

Replies

Slaytanic September 29, 2009 at 3:51pm

hahaha....nice work Phil, especially like 6, 14 and 16
Nidge September 29, 2009 at 3:57pm

That's Gold Jerry! Gold!
Finchy September 29, 2009 at 4:20pm

But harsh on the old Finch.
- 1Eyed Eel > Finchy September 29, 2009 at 4:51pm
  
  Mate, you know I've never been a fan. I would have gone harder, but I didn't want to upset you.
  - Finchy > 1Eyed Eel September 29, 2009 at 6:34pm
    
    Haha .. thanks. Go as hard as you can. He's the enemy now.
ELECTRIFYING MAXFORCE EELS 2014 September 29, 2009 at 4:26pm

BOTTOM LINE STORM WILL BE BLOWN AWAY
Gol September 29, 2009 at 4:44pm

This has made my day, fantastic stuff. The Finch and Slater comments are brilliant.
Eeldarado September 29, 2009 at 4:55pm

Oohh yeah 1 eyed Im lovin it!!!
EELATION September 29, 2009 at 5:09pm

16. Ryan Tandy
The Storm think so much of this bloke, they haven't even bothered to give him a player profile on their official site

hahahahaaha

LOVE IT!!!!!!!!
- Chingali > EELATION September 30, 2009 at 7:27pm
  
  Superb summation. I just read it out to the mother-in-law who's one of those eejit Storm morons and her head nearly popped off. The missus is now well pissed off at me because of the ensuing argument but it was worth every moment.
  
  Thanks mate, it was beautiful.