I approach my football in the same way many others approach their religion. I'm not a religious person, but everybody needs a bit of faith, right? For me, I put my blind faith in the Eels. I have enough reality to deal with in running a business and all the various commitments I have, elsewhere in my life. Football is a refuge where I can focus all of my child-like id on just believing in something. It's why when I first had to come up with a name for this site and my handle, I chose the name 1Eyed Eel. That's how I channel my support for the club - a 1Eyed partisan view of the club, it's players, coach, admin and directors.
When I'm writing news or my match reports or whatever, I try and stay as objective as I can but I don't pretend that I don't slant towards the optimistic and hopeful. I also have a natural, and at times irrational need, to support the underdog and come to the defence of those under attack. And because I have over the years interviewed many of the players, coaches, directors and so forth, it makes it far easier for me to play the role of the undying supporter. And I feel that role gives this site an important vibe. When times are bad, it provides a bit of balance and when times are good it reinforces the joy we all share through this site.
I don't think I've ever found it harder to play that role than following the Bulldogs loss. Once again for 30 minutes, the club lit our hopes only to fall into a despicable final 50 minutes that showcased some of the poorest defence I've ever seen in Rugby League. I just haven't wanted to even think about the NRL side, quite frankly, I've avoided the site, discussions at work and with friends. It was kind of like the last drop of optimism had evaporated from me and there was just nothing left.
Just as Tinks wrote a couple of weeks ago, the feeling is, distinctly, of being let down. You all know how hard I've defended the coach and various players as well as the board to a certain extent, so to see the effort that has too often been produced this year, has left me gutted and by about 9 Friday night running on empty.
There is so much talk about game plans and style of football, but from my point of view Parramatta's woes have seemed to come down primarily to team harmony and a lack of commitment to one another. No one can tell me that is a united football side out there. Comments made to the press seem to inescapably point to this conclusion. And what this comes back to is individuals putting themselves above the team. And I just have no stomach that for. If you are a part of a team, that team comes first and I don't give a flying frick about your personal grievances - when you let your own selfishness stand in the road of the collective success, you need to quit Rugby League and take up tennis, golf, tiddly winks or some other solo sport where you can only succeed in dragging yourself down.
Kearney has to take responsibility for letting this happen - and to his credit tonight he did. I don't know if its been caused via the recruitment decisions, miscommunication, poor leadership or whatever, but the first role of any manager is to lead and unite. I still haven't lost hope that he can learn from the experience and find a way out of the abyss. My 1Eyed habits die hard.
Ultimately though, I believe Kearney was put into a position where he has had no superior who might have spotted cracks appearing in the ceiling, or indeed who could have lent some experience and guidance in how to putty up the problem. As part of the decision making, that gave rise to the structure we have in place right now, there was precious little risk management or mitigation and for that the board has to take responsibility. Unlike with Kearney, I didn't see that happen tonight.
I focused one of my questions at the AGM tonight on the board's strategy over the past two years which has seen it cut costs from the football operations and rationalise management functions across the group. I have strong opinions on these matter and, as opposed to my 1Eyed persona, in person I'm quite happy to play the agitator. I refuse to hack someone down on my keyboard when they don't have an opportunity to defend themselves, but in person, it's all fair game. I guess one of the things I was after was a little humility or contrition, but all I got tonight was arrogance and contempt. I have a renewed desire and ambition to see transparency, professionalism and leadership at all levels of this club. If you want to see that too, at the very least, become a member of both clubs so you do have a voice.
As a post script to all this, I'll add that after suffering through Friday night, I woke up the next day and got to experience the joy of my five-year old playing his first game of comp league. Then I headed out to St Mary's and watched the Harold Matthews side triumph in their grand final and that emptiness I'd felt was filled by the sheer exhilaration of kids playing Rugby League. That Under 16 side represented everything that Kearney has wanted from his NRL stars. Unlike some of the our past junior squads, there wasn't any of those massive kids who just look in a different age bracket to the others. Instead, what you had was a squad full of very committed, disciplined Rugby League players. They made very few errors and they just executed on the plays they'd been given from start to finish (well all bar the last five minutes at least). Enormous credit goes to their young coach Chris Hutchinson who has won a grand final in his first year as head coach in Parra's junior reps, despite having the remit to focus on player development, not titles.
All of what I saw on Saturday, is what this club has to bottle. The joy of playing football, team mate over self and adherence to a plan. It's enough to give this old 1Eyed fool his mojo back. Bring on those Raiders!
Replies
Phil our culture is lost to the almighty dollar.
The kids you watched play on Saturday will be corrupted by the same poisons that have have killed todays game.
May the highest bidder win!
We all hate it, but these guys play for money not loyalty or club and the administrators do the same.
There is no easy fix now, our Guernsey means only money to the players. Pride and Passion??? This Board sings it but doesn't bring it.
I think they throw money at something or someone and expect them to do their job, while sitting back in cruise mode.
Football is like a contracting company.
SK has done his apprenticeship and is now a tradesman. But just because he has his ticket, it doesn't mean he has the experiance to work on every problem. That's were the board should be rolling up their sleeves and helping him. They shouldn't wait until he's made the mistake and try and patch things up, they should see there is an issue and be in there helping.
The players are the apprentices, they should be working hard to help SK get the job done. They should be helping him look good, not disorganized and inept.
So, board gives SK support and encouragement, players get a kick up the arse and told to shape up or go and SK to acknowledge he's still very much learning his trade and needs help.
Business is now back on track!!!!
If only it was that easy :(
Kearney is proving to be a shite tradesman and we all know where shite tradesman end up working.
You guessed it, Bunnings Hardware. Why are we paying a bloke $450K a year if he is still learning his trade.
I say Kearney to Bunnings!
Can we use these kids on Saturday against Canberra? In fact, maybe we should send the whole NRL squad to the Harold Matthews cup and play this U.16 on Saturday...at least we'll see committment
Wow Phil, great blog! You sum up so much of what I have been feeling this week in much better words.
I just found myself thinking "why did i get my hopes up" after watching the bulldogs game. It was a sinking feeling in combination with realisation, waking me up to the fact that this season full of dreadful performances, on field and off field dramas, smoke and mirrors board actions and the media sledging snowball effect is far from over and even further from turning itself around.
I still have a glimmer of hope, I guess it is that "blind faith" that you mention that keeps me an Eels supported for life.
I don't believe for one second that our culture has been lost to the dollar. I mean if that was the case then how could some of the other NRL teams perform so well. Surely we would be seeing the same greed poisoning the rest of the nrl. Not only that but it seems to be that the young ones fighting for thier chance to play top flight rugby league are the ones outshining those with experience and weatlh.
I don't claim to have the answers on how to achieve the success we so desperatley need but I am sure that if every individual in the team were able to put aside any grievances with eachother or the coaching staff and grasped some the blind faith that the loyal fans are displaying, then they could go a long way fast towards playing as a united club.
Phil - 16s is probably the most pure form of RL you can watch.
The kids have been around long enough to know the plays and drills BUT are turning into men who still have the exuberance of youth.
They have enthusiasm that is pallable - talent that is now developing - and they are competitive.
They have not yet arrived at star level and being feted in the media as the "next coming" so the team is where they play and where they focus.
A great effort from the "rookie" coach (irony yes?) and his team.
Did you email this blog to our board, CEO and FG coach?
The whole site knows how much I love Phil's posts, so I won't compliment him too much - but seriously, I would consider myself pretty 1Eyed too and I wouldn't have it any other way.
I am a responsible grown up in most areas of my life. The footy is the one place where I don't have any control of what goes on and I love being taken on a ride with my footy team. Passion for anything is really, really special and it makes the successful times just magical and the harder times, well... hard. But I wouldn't have it any other way.
Whenever things are hard, I remember how I felt in 2009. The back half of that season was magic, it was pure euphoria. I wish I could have bottled up that feeling and kept it with me forever.
I believe that another 2009 is not too far away. I believe in our coach and our players that things can be turned around. And, in the end if I'm wrong - it's been one hell of a ride!
In the end it will be what its going to be......last night showed what little control we have over it at the moment .
I guess we just have to 'suck it up' . It's the waiting that is the hardest part, cause it feels like we have been doing that forever.
I just want to know that we are in the right place (and my gut is not very sure). I want to know we are being the best we can possibly be (and I know that we are not). There will always be blind faith, that is a given for being a parra supporter.
Won't it be a nice day when that blind faith is no longer needed....
Can they start in the 14 guernsey this weekend?
I too am not a religious man so i put my eggs in the Parra Eels basked and try to remain proactive and have faith that any team we field will compete for 80 minutes for a win week in week out. I love my family and my footy and sometimes footy comes first, especially when there are weddings held in September or that glorious 1st weekend in October.
Religion is like footy at our club at present, any time you fork out your hard earned you see nothing in return.
It is funny the way it is turning out - Osborne turned out to be Judas and SK the wise man that forked out myrrh.
Phil, i cant tell you how much i liked this blog, its a great insight into your character, and the honesty you wrote with is a credit to you.... Most of us on here like myself are just bloggers.... We dont have the responsebility of running the site and having to keep the professionalism and healthy attitude as you do, and for that i very much applaud you because youve created a truely very special site, infact it is the only website i have ever been compelled to join in my life, so thankyou... i know you rise above all the silliness and heavily negative oppinionated stuff on here (mine included) to the point where it seems somtimes as though you have just got the shits with alot of us (and you probably do :), but to read your blog above really puts things into perspective about the kind of guy you are and where your coming from n what your going through, so keep up the great work because it is loved by thousands, and let me tell you, that you are just about the only guy in this world, who when they tell me to 'pull it back' or 'go easy' that i do that for without a problem......... cheers Phil n keep up the great work, thousands are depending on you :)
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