Preparing for Round 1

The players have been putting in the hard yards at Pre-season training. So what about the fans? How are you preparing for the kick off to the season this year. I have a few simple steps:1. The attitude - watch footage of the golden years to revive the unicorn, then watch footage of Greg Hartley and Gary Cook to remember that there's always some mongrel ready to screw us over.2. The voice - this is a finely tuned instrument that cannot go cold into the season. The Jimmy Barnes vocal training cassette tape was a great investment many years ago. I just pop that baby into the tape deck as I drive and after a few weeks of strange looks from people driving near me, I'm ready to go.3. The attire - a little trickier. Looking more like a 60s front rower than the modern football athlete, my preparations normally include stretching the fibres of my supporter attire to account for my off-season growth pattern (ie Christmas flab). It's incredible how the XL shirt can stretch to a small tent with the appropriate force.4. Respect for officialdom- it's back to the video vault on this. With my appreciation of touch judges a priority for me (flag boys), I normally find that reacquainting myself with the ribbon section of rhythmic gymnastic events does the trick.5. The preparation of "her". Footy season widows aren't born that way. They must be carefully nurtured. One spends each off season giving a bit of time to "her" then slowly the weaning begins. Old Parra DVDs, increasing time spent on 1eyed website, weaving footy into conversations, attending training sessions instead of taking "her" shopping and finally feigning deafness at appropriate moments.It's now under 2 weeks to go. I'm ready. Just hope I haven't peaked too soon!

"Rather Samrani! Does seem odd given the speculation of swapping him for old Barnett. Penisini can be really great at times and then really off at other times. Samrani has been very impressive and seems very strong and determined which is what Parra…"

"I really like Samrani but if JR decides to give him up for MB I think that is a massive mistake.
IMO Samrani should be 1st drop for either centre/ wing if one of our starters is out. Brian Kelly is bog average and not going to get better.
Samrani…"

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sixtiesboy February 21, 2015 at 6:18am

NB - there may be football widowers out there too, so point 5 should not be gender specific. I should be honest and say that I have purchased "her" a ticketed membership so that she can attend games this year should she wish to do so.
sixtiesboy February 21, 2015 at 7:58am

I'd be honoured to know that you've done that.
GRUNTA - Death of a Salesman February 21, 2015 at 8:32am

I'm going to the Gold Coast, hiring an apartment for Friday and Saturday night and watching every game. I will also be attempting to beat my mate in drinking enough beers that the empties when put together make the entire way around the kitchen island bench. I was about 3 or 4 beers short last year but i will make it this year...I can feel it.
Might have to look up a mate of Jason Smiths while I am there?
- Carloeel > GRUNTA - Death of a Salesman February 21, 2015 at 9:09am
  
  My hubby hates parra and mungoes , but he hates 1 ee more I reckon lol
sixtiesboy February 21, 2015 at 9:08am

I rarely drink, with the odd occasion being home games that I don't drive to. I will admit to the odd "big night" on the couple of occasions that I was in the "Pirtek" private box about 7 or 8 years ago. I paid for the tickets so I made sure that they paid for my attendance. Walked in as soon as the ground was open, left when I was told it was closed. Somehow lost my mate Trouser Eel at the private box level on one of the nights. The day after told me that I should have prepared better.
sixtiesboy February 21, 2015 at 9:08am

Cheers mate.
sixtiesboy February 21, 2015 at 9:12am

I think you know how 1EE feels about Carlo!!!
- Carloeel > sixtiesboy February 21, 2015 at 9:22am
  
  Annoying little sister who won't leave the room and steals ur bourbon and fills up the bottle w water :-)
  - sixtiesboy > Carloeel February 21, 2015 at 9:37am
    
    An insight into the young Carlo???
Prof. Daz February 21, 2015 at 9:14am

My prep just involves talking with the wife about reading my body language. She has to be able to spot the depression coming on as another loss looms, and quietly wisk the little one (3 yr old daughter) to another room for 15 mins of "oh frak it, c'mon!!!" and "WTF". It's a weekly ritual designed to ensure the little one, already indoctrinated to yell "go Eels", is spared the painful reality of being an Eels can until she is old enough to cope.

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