Off season moral dilemma

Apologies in advance for an off topic, off season blog but I was hoping for some advice from my learned One Eyed brethren on a bit of a moral dilemma I have found myself in.

I am not sure if I have mentioned this or not before on here but I am actually a devout Pastafarian. I worship at one of the more fundamentalist Churches of the Flying Spaghetti Monster due to the happy coincidence that I was born to parents that belong to that Church. I have taken the Flying Spaghetti Monster as my one true Imaginary Friend.

Anyway, the other day I walked into the lunch room at work and there was my colleague Dave eating a bowl of Penne! I WAS SHOCKED!!! Penne! In public!!!

In our sect we put people who eat Penne on the same rung of humanity as murderers, pedophiles and rapists, because clearly they are sick in the head. Our 4000 year old holy book The Loose Canon clearly spells this abomination out in the Book of Suggestions 5:13-15 (well, that is our interpretation of the text which is actually horrifying in some parts now that I think about it). Some of the other sects are a little more lenient on Penne eaters but no one takes them seriously because they are all a little craycray as everyone knows…

The problem I have though is that Dave is actually a pretty good bloke. I started to think maybe I was caught up in a bit of a logical fallacy. Dave eating Penne doesn’t stop me eating spaghetti. Those eating Penne with Dave are doing so in a consensual way. A consensual Penne dinner with Dave and his partner didn’t really hurt anybody. Murderers rapists and pedophiles all hurt others without legal/mutual consent. Are these acts all really equal in the eyes of the Flying Spaghetti Monster?

Anyway, I hope you all see my moral dilemma and would value your advice.

Thanks in advance,
Mapik

"HFK, Fair point. Sure, we could. But balancing incoming youth with experience is almost a perennial issue. A constant cycle. It never really goes away. At least not for too long. "

Replies

Rise of an empire January 7, 2017 at 6:37pm

You are off your head, enjoy
Snakey - Sack Dylan Brown January 7, 2017 at 6:37pm

Dave has to be taken out mapik, his behaviour is outrageous!

Id like to hear monto's opinion on this?
Mapik January 7, 2017 at 6:48pm

Here's a link to our fabulous church for those interested.

https://pastafarians.org.au/

Be sure to drop my name so I receive my 10% trailing commission on all your collection plate "donations".

The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster Australia

Be touched by His Noodly Appendage!
Kurupt January 7, 2017 at 6:51pm

Hate to break it to you, but your wife comes over to my place when you're at work and we eat 2minute noodles together.

PS Good read Mapik lmao.
- Mapik > Kurupt January 7, 2017 at 7:08pm
  
  You bastard Kurupt!
  Every time I suggested noodles with the wife I got the old "no soup for you"...
El patrón MDV January 7, 2017 at 7:42pm

I hope Monto read that, lol
Kurupt January 7, 2017 at 7:51pm

You sicken me
fishbulb January 7, 2017 at 8:00pm

Orecchietti is my preference... like eating little ears...
rex macmundi January 7, 2017 at 8:01pm

Jehovah Jehovah Jehovah bolognese.
Snakey - Sack Dylan Brown January 7, 2017 at 8:05pm