According to a recent study by Parra & Dise, the mental anguish brought about by supporting a losing football team is enough to make grown men and women regress as far back to their childhood states.
For the study, the University of Parramatta academics, travelled to the Shire where they interviewed all 27 Sharks supporters. The researchers reported that maturity levels were stunningly low.
"One group of Cronulla supporters had regressed so far that they had taken to playing in cupboards and even more worrrying, in the trash."
"They had developed terrible delusions of mischief, thinking that they would be oh so clever and run amok to the bewilderment of authority figures."
Parra & Dise warned supporters of other clubs, which may be experiencing temporary form-slumps not to associate with such fans or they too might find themselves playing in cupboards and trash and trying to be clever, when clearly they are only waiting to be outsmarted by higher intellects.
Asked to comment on the findings, the all-seeing, all-knowing 1Eyed Eel said that such trash play should be ignored by authorities, as it was in no way intellectually stimulating enough to warrant a reaction.
"Look, I wouldn't buy a beer for anyone with an identity crisis nor for someone who couldn't recognise a good deal if it bit them in the Johno. And I refuse to have anything to do with cupboards, Cronulla supporters or people who live in a 100km radius of Coffs Harbour".
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CHEERS GLEN
Just a few friends mucking around mate. Sorry if that makes you sick.
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