Last night, with the missus and kids away, and finally the chance to write something substantial I found alot of my frustration spewing forth. The Unicorn-horn rimmed glasses came off. I went to bed last night feeling somewhat lighter for having had a bit of a spray.
However, I also felt my karma was out of whack. The Unicorn in me, whinnied. Find the positive, she whispered seductively. I told myself I would get up and write something positive and optimistic in the morning.
And then I got busy with work. With the family out I decide to work from home free from distractions. The Unicorn tapped its hoof impatiently. Go away, I told it. I don't have time for you.
And then about midday, as the clock ticked over from AM to PM, and I failed in my promise to the unicorn to appease with a morning make-up post, I heard water coming from the laundry. That's strange, I thought, I've not even been in there so couldn't have left the tap on.
As I made my way through the living room to investigate, I'm suddenly awareness of dampness underfoot. What the? I get to the laundry and I have a sewerage water spewing out of the drainpipe from the toilet. I spend the next hour, battling to stop shitty water flooding my entire living room, calling plumbers then Sydney Water, working out how to stop the water and then eventually having to clean all the crap up.
I have learned my lesson. Once a unicorn rider, always a unicorn rider. Now all I have to do is work out something positive to say...
Replies
Oh trust me, I know. Dead-set fluke I was there. This is probably the first day in six months I've worked from home. My entire bottom floor would have been wiped out if I hadn't been there. Even worse if the missus had of been at home, I think she would have packed up and moved out immediately.
Good luck with that Phil. I find the easiest way is to not talk about the team or club.
Take your victories wherever they lay....
LOL, ''The unicorn in me, whinned. Find the positive, she whispered seductively'' you have massive problems 1eyed, you have come clean here and admitted you are the king of all the unicorn milkers n rainbow chasers lol...
Look, this is your problem Dr Phil, you are linking being negative to bad karma, phil im here to tell you that you need equal negative to balance up the positive, i think your problem is that you didnt have a big enough spray n you've been holding back to much, you have not had enough big dirty sprays to balance up all of the positive stuff you write, follow me i'll show you the way Dr.
you need to get real mad n cranky more often, i want to hear more dirty blogs about how you really feel about the board and SK, your way to nice, n i for one are worried about you, you seem to bottle stuff in Phil....
Not to mention you have an imaginary unicorn talking to you, whispering seductivly and tapping its hoof at you, ive got the number of somebody that can give you help, and i think you should take me up on it, i am getting increasingly worried you n i think the cracks are starting to show, dont be ashamed, it can happen to the best of us, in the mean time follow my blogs, i'll show you how to let it all out, cheers
p.s, Phil, i find the best therapy is to find some butterflies n after theve made you happy just admiring there beauty , pull their wings off, this is a great method to balance out of whack karma, squashing ants n bugs also works, scaring young kids that are not yours in the supermarket works,.
One of the best methods i know is to go to the toy section of a department store or toys r us, and wait for the kids to be alone away from their parents, and when their eyes light up when they pick up the toy they want, steal it from them n buy it yourself, yes you might end up with a few unwanted toys but its a very satisfying hobby...
this is true, i know a guy that holds hes farts for department stores, he walks up to very young children,under7s seperated from their family group, he very carefully lines them up and farts in their face, this can really frighten young kids, and he swears it makes him feel really good, and i believe him.
you need to try a few of these methods, your karma will be fixed right up in no time.......
At least when I ride my unicorn too hard and it sh!ts itself, I dont blame a backed up sewer........
Troll vs Unicorn
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dw3VnsSBQK0
Phil, im still waiting on your reply to my post above ?????????? you have massive problems.......
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