In a long overdue decision, the Minneapolis City Council has demonstrated incredible forward vision by voting to abolish the city's police department, to be replaced by a yet to be announced new law and order regime based on love, inclusiveness, compassion & trust.
The City Council chair has announced that the model of publicly funded law enforcement is an outdated model and that the city will seek a more accomodating model. Not only has the city council voted to abolish the PD, but the vote was bipartisan to the extent that it had the necessary votes to overrule the expected mayoral veto.
A whopping 9 councillors voted to assume that all citizens of the great city of Minneapolis will never feel tempted to commit any crime in the future, as the outdated police department will no longer be there to discourage them.
When news of the vote was made public, career criminals rejoiced at the vision of the city's political leaders, complaining that their profession has been historically discriminated against and targeted by the MPD, citing statistics that show that 100% of prison inmates in Minnesota state prisons are criminals, despite only comprising less then 5% of the population. "Professional profiling at it's very worst", according to the state chapter of the Congress for the Rights of Individual Malevolence Society, or CRIMS. "We felons are a proud people, we are proud of our culture, we have been persecuted, we have been oppressed, America has a problem with instituionalised discrimanation against criminals of all shapes & sizes. This decision by the Minneapolis City Council is the breakthrough that we hope will see the dismantiling of all law enforcement in every American city, and ultimately that Great Satan, the FBI." The Minneapolis Council Chair intends to rename the main street in downtown Minneapolis "Criminal Lives Matter Plaza".
Law abiding citizens have launched counter protests to the dismantling of what they claim is necessary law enforcement for the safety of all law abiding citizens. However, criminal protesters have shouted down such protesters as bigots & criminalists. "Criminalism has no place in modern America. We are a nation that supports inclusiveness of all peoples, law abiding citizens are the problem." claim a CRIMS spokesman.