Random Thoughts

You come from dust and to dust you will return. That's why you shouldn't dust. It could be someone you know.

When one door closes and another door opens, you're probably in prison.

If you answer your phone with "Hello. You're on the air.", most telemarketers will quickly hang up.

Sometimes, someone unexpected comes into your life from nowhere. It makes your heart race and changes you forever.  We call these people cops.

For Sale . Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

They say marriages are made in Heaven. Then again, so is lightning and thunder.

Maybe the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of Charades.

This "killing them with kindness" is taking way longer than I expected.

I started out with nothing. I still have most of it.

There's nothing scarier than that split second when you lose your balance in the shower and think "Oh No. They're gonna find me naked.”

One minute you're young and fun. And the next you're turning down the stereo in your car so you can see better.

One day you'll be able to tell your grandkids that you survived the GTPS 2020 (Great Toilet Paper Shortage of 2020).

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.

Never miss a good chance to shut up. 

And finally - Can we all agree that in 2015 not a single person got the answer correct to the question, "Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?"

 

You need to be a member of 1Eyed Eel to add comments!

Join 1Eyed Eel

Votes: 0
Email me when people reply –

Replies

      • Slugg is not here yet. Maybe got it wrong .North pole? 

  • Today, I went down to the local Gun shop to get a shot gun and ammo to do a little birding.  When I was ready to pay, the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me."

    Making a mental note to complain to the police about gun control Nazi's running amok making up crazy rules, I did just as she  instructed.

    When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I discovered that she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the card reader!

    As a senior citizen, I do not get flustered often, but this time it took me a while to get my pants back on.  I've been asked to shop elsewhere in the future.

    They need to make their instructions to seniors a little more clear.  I still don't think I looked that bad!  I just need to wear underwear more often.

     

    Be aware boys, be really aware. Things don't get easier at our age.

    • Haha with a plus 

  • How to cut all your bills inn half.

    POP-UP CARDS - HOW TO MAKE A BASIC FACE

  • A petrol station owner in Melbourne was trying to increase his sales, so he put up a sign that read, 'Free Sex with Fill-Up!'
    Daniel pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free sex. The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex.
    Daniel guessed 8, and the proprietor said, "You were close. The number was 7. Sorry. No sex this time."
    A week later, Daniel, along with his friend Mick, pulled in for another fill-up. Again he asked for his free sex. The proprietor again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess the correct number.
    Daniel guessed 2. The proprietor said, "Sorry, it was 3. You were close, but no free sex this time."
    As they were driving away, Mick said to Daniel, "I think that game is rigged and he doesn't really give away free sex at all."
    Daniel replied, "No, no, it's genuine enough Mick. My wife won twice last week
    • lol Sir Col

       

      • My mostest favourite comedian

  • The PRESENCE of loved famly and friends is far more valuable than their presents.

    Deep or what?

    • Very deep . . and highly debatable ;)

    • We do very silly stuff at Xmas Sir Col- Opening presents at Christmas time often results for looking for receipts so that they can be exchanged for another color, another model etc.  So we exchange envelopes around and often come out square.I agree the hugs and good will is what it should be all about. You do all that after the dishes are washed and accept no exit excuses.

This reply was deleted.

Latest comments

SuperEel 22 replied to Hell On Eels's discussion R8 v Manly: The Rise and Fall of the Eels
"It's weird how Brad keeps calling Dylan an out and out halfback. Because Dylan played 7 in 20s and Cup before he debuted and while his running game was obvious, he was tasked with getting the side around the park. And that 20s side made a grand…"
9 minutes ago
Jim Muir replied to Hell On Eels's discussion R8 v Manly: The Rise and Fall of the Eels
"An amazing post. Thank you. It's great to get such a comprehensive and well reasoned analysis to chew over. I hope the Parra powers that be have read it and are mulling over the calls to action that need to be addressed - otherwise we could be a…"
12 minutes ago
Eli Stephens replied to Eli Stephens's discussion Jett Cleary off to NZ
"Could be as good as the big brother apparently. "
13 minutes ago
Offside replied to Eli Stephens's discussion Jett Cleary off to NZ
"Funny enough he is also eligible for the kiwis after being born there 
Imagine a Cleary v Cleary international 😂
Jet Cleary is a good player a mate of mine who works in the Penrith jr system reckons he has that something special "
23 minutes ago
LB replied to Hell On Eels's discussion R8 v Manly: The Rise and Fall of the Eels
"Around that time from Warriors last year is where we got the brain snaps from RCG and Sivo leading to long suspensions. Dylan Brown also. It seemed the makeup of the squad started to become unfocused and just seemed disregard the establishment. The…"
25 minutes ago
Hell On Eels replied to Hell On Eels's discussion R8 v Manly: The Rise and Fall of the Eels
"Yep, that's what they say LB. Seven is just a number. Age is just a number. Love the concepts, yet, both stuff actually happen in reality.
It will be interesting to see how it pans out. Officially, Dylan is the seven. Halfback. Fact. Halfback "in…"
27 minutes ago
Hell On Eels replied to Hell On Eels's discussion R8 v Manly: The Rise and Fall of the Eels
"Yep, LB, the defensive regression of the Eels since 2022 is "alarming" to use a Slater term. Currently, we concede almost 26 points per game. The worse in the Arthur era. Worse than 2018. 
I suspect there's a lot of frustatration in the team that is…"
54 minutes ago
Mathew Clarke replied to EA's discussion Luca Moretti early footy career
"The Eels need to persist with Luca and members need to remember his age. He is a great young talent and will have occassional brain fades as most young players do but he is keen to get in and have a go."
1 hour ago
LB replied to Hell On Eels's discussion R8 v Manly: The Rise and Fall of the Eels
"Don't say that HOE, 7 is just a number there is nothing behind Sanders being named at 6 and Brown at 7. Others will chase you down.
Though Sanders will be the Halfback. That is his game. If BA is dumb enough to have Sanders play a traditional…"
1 hour ago
Hell On Eels replied to Hell On Eels's discussion R8 v Manly: The Rise and Fall of the Eels
"Super, good point mate. IMO, it's out of necessity: the mother of all experiments & inventions.
But it seems the brave Talagi experiment, one BA seemed excited about, is off for now.
Sanders is the new experiment who should relieve some kicking duty…"
1 hour ago
LB replied to Hell On Eels's discussion R8 v Manly: The Rise and Fall of the Eels
"Super just everything about BA at the moment shows pressure as we have seen a lot of him in 11 years, we know how he works things and is predictable most of the time with team lists and how he deals with media and the squad. Last few weeks he has…"
1 hour ago
LB replied to LB's discussion Analysis and reflection of BA and is sacking the go, WARNING LONG BLOG.
"Fair call Coryn. Hate those that say i am not supporting them anymore etc."
1 hour ago
Hell On Eels replied to Hell On Eels's discussion R8 v Manly: The Rise and Fall of the Eels
"Excellent points, Bup. Agree. And thanks for the kind words, mate. 
Spot on. We've got a bit of time up our sleeve, but not a hell of a lot. Our front row and fullback will be in the critical basket in the not too distant future. 
I suspect some of…"
1 hour ago
SuperEel 22 replied to Hell On Eels's discussion R8 v Manly: The Rise and Fall of the Eels
"I think the number of changes BA has been making recently reflects the pressure he's under. He's often a pick and stick guy but he's been making a decent number of non-injury changes every week."
2 hours ago
Hell On Eels replied to Blue Eel's discussion The Truth Hurts: Article
"Brilliant post, Bup. Well said, even though I do enjoy listening to players or former players talk every week even if some of it is forced due to their media and fan engagement obligations. A guilty pleasure. 
There seems to be a "calm,…"
2 hours ago
ByronBae replied to EA's discussion Luca Moretti early footy career
"Will Penisini and Joseph Suaalii did one yesterday too."
2 hours ago
More…

 

<script src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js"></script>
<!-- Sidebar -->
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<script>// <![CDATA[
(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});
// ]]></script>