When I was a young boy my parents separated. Mum, wanting me to have a father figure would drop me off at dads place every Friday. I'd return home Sunday night.
There were two options every weekend, go down to the oval and kick the footy and go to watch parramatta play. Looking back it was clear dad didn't know what else to do. He didn't know how to "parent". Frankly, he didn't know how to be dad. But it was the emotion I saw in him when parra scored, when parra won, it was those moments that brought us together. It was those moments I saw in dad that he was indeed alive someone inside him.
At some stage dad started a new family. I become a teenager and hanging out with friends, meeting girls, doing teenager things, soon I wasn't getting dropped off on Fridays anymore. Worst still dad never called. Like, never. He just moved on. Sure, you could argue I could have called, but I was just a kid. Of course there was also the fact I thought he was a little odd. But he was dad and he was the dad I knew.
Anyway, parramatta was still in my blood and I never stopped watching. I never stopped cheering. Soon I just drifted away from dad and I haven't heard from him in years. But I guess, it's in those little moments, those moments when parra score, when parra win I guess a little part of me feels like I have a dad. It's those moments I feel close to him knowing he too would be cheering. It's why it means so much to me I guess.
Go parra!
Replies
A very humbling blog mate. Well written and shows the type of man you have become. I have a similar path with my family and havent had contact with parents for 15 years. Missed every milestone of my kids , my career, the Parra Journey you name it. But everyone has choices and everyone doesnt have the fairy tale family life or up bringing. We have come through some crazy times in Australia. My old man follows Parramatta too but the win on Sunday will mean so much more to me than him I feel.
Have a great day Sunday. Your a quality human being.
A nice story Nitram, I think for many of us who went to the footy with our dad's know exactly how you feel. goog luck to both of you on Sunday.
What an amazing Blog and what a wonderful reaction from all of us tough guys out there.Youve hit a nerve Nitram and received so much support from all your keyboard Brothers and it just adds another reason to be a proud Parra Supporter.Its amazing how a Football Team can create such memorable memories an unite so many people.All you guys and girls out there who are estranged from your/our Families can relate to your message and its never too late to call.
Man, I'm tearing up, reading all this. My old man's passed, and I would have loved to have shared this run with him.
Great post mate thanks for sharing really hit hard that.
It's a funny thing the parent child relationship what we take with what we leave behind, sport has that power to connect my brothers were jealous of my relationship with my dad because we shared a passion for the eels once one of my brothers started to come along they all realised Dad wasn't going because he loved the eels he was going because I asked him they all started asking him different things that was 'their thing'
Thanks for sharing your story Nitram. This is a really touching blog, and brought a tear to my eye.
I'm sure your dad and you will have the connection on Sunday even if you are not together.
Martin I'm so impressed by the resilience you've been able to access to post this here. I'm also deeply humbled that you feel safe enough to share this with me, with us. As I'm sure we can all agree, life can, and will kick us in the proverbial. It's as true as death and taxes, but it's those of us that pick our selves up from the canvas and look life back in the eye that genuinely have it's measure. Some of our brothers and sisters didn't quite have that fight in them, and I have nothing but love and compassion for them.
You sir are one of those people who picked yourself to fight another day. I hope what ever happens Sunday you toast our boys and you toast your strength.
Great blog mate. Some dads have a bad stint and make dumb decisions and some are just c@nts without emotions.
Hope you have a cracking GF day.
Hi Nitram,
Appreciate your openness and thanks for sharing your touching blog. Being a dad myself it makes it even more emotional reading.
I had issues with my mum growing up where I didn't talk to her for a few years because of the way she treated my dad when they split. I think the reason it went from a few weeks to a few years was finding it hard breaking the ice and trying to kick start the relationship again. I shouldn't have let it go so long but I was just a teenager.
My point is maybe now is perfect timing/excuse to give him a call or a text about the GF to kick start your relationship again. Cheers buddy, and go the mighty Eels!!
Nice points Collaroy Eel. Mate as teens so much changes and your thoughts can be scrambled at times - let alone you need some good figures in your life. I made more errors than i can think of - and then something clicked.
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