Help change things

I’ve been here since 2012 

when big things happen there’s discourse -a terrorist attack , a bombing etc

yesterday a whole family was obliterated by someone who had issue with their partner leaving a violent relationship 

please please please , if you hear a mate be a shit to their partner call them out , if you think they are not coping with a split tell them to get help 

you guys are the ones who are going to change things 

I know women who can’t leave because we fear this outcome - good men , good fathers help change this . I know lots of you are - spread your magic 

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          • I'm responding on my phone, which is not always easy. 

            I do hope your response above was not directed at me. I'm agreeing with you entirely! 

  • Very important message Carlo.

    We all need to look out for each other.

    You never know what you might be preventing. No one wants to see another tragedy like what unfolded.

    • Thanks Elvis - 

      I think it is no excuses 

      let’s just let good men thrive and foster great sons 

      I’m doing my best w my boys 

  • There are plenty of men suffering DV too. They look like pansies if they complain and in saying that, I’m sure the stats would be very different if this wasn’t an issue.

     

  •  Testosterone is the enemy. In both men and women. You need a wide circle of friends, both men and women, of all ages, to bounce ideas off. If you don't have that you lose touch. But what do you do with people who are friendless? I don't have the answer to that. I tend to cut vicious people out of my life and that works for me. But if your friendless, how do you get the perspective to do that? Abraham Lincoln quote: "The better part of ones life consist of it's friendships" Robin Williams quotes “Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.” “I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel all alone.”

    We have to end up making the most inportant decisions of our life (marriage) when we are too young and ill euipped to make them. Avoid loud and agressive people. Misery is never far away from those type of people.

    But how do you get into the life of a vicious soul and convince them to get help? If you ask a vicious person to get help they generally turn on you.Maybe you try a carrot and stick saying if you don't get help I will no longer be a part of your life? Do we have any clinical psychologists on the site?

    I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone.
    Read more at https://www.brainyquote.com/authors/robin-williams-quotes
    89 Robin Williams Quotes - Inspirational Quotes at BrainyQuote
    Enjoy the best Robin Williams Quotes at BrainyQuote. Quotations by Robin Williams, American Comedian, Born July 21, 1951. Share with your friends.
    • Yep 

      thats all 

      fongy end of story 

      and ffs if your marriage fails accept it / move on and find another 

      bejesus the more the merrier ffs 

      • Carlo I had a female employee who was being bashed by her husband no one knew because he never touched her face , it only came to light because one day she just broke down and cried and kept saying she didn't want to go home .  I know it's hard for women who have the fear of God I them but woman need to open their mouth to those close to them to give themselves half a chance . 

         

        The other thing is that women know that going to the police is useless as history shows . 

        • Just to add to that Fong, it’s useless going to the Police if you are a bloke also. 

          Trust me...

          • It's not so easy to speak up when there is a myriad of reasons why women find it hard, if not impossible to do so. Fear, self worth, telling people who may well be disbelieving, being controlled by your partner etc etc. 

            The assertion (as made in a previous post) that 99% of men treat there partners with respect and care is ludicrous and not borne out by statistics or personal observation. Domestic violence is real and rife! And should only be condemned. There is NO excuse!

  • It's more than likely he was raised in a violent house hold, you can bet your bottom dollar he has a history of abuse/violence against his wife and was probably narcissistic. It was such a selfish evil thing to do. Unfortunately Carlo there is not a whole lot good men can do about it, we don't know it is happening, we know it happens but not to who and when, most victoms of DV keep it hidden.

    The only thing we can do is teach our sons to be respectful and non violent and that is already happening, you see it's not the sons of good men that become abusive monsters, there is probably the odd exception, it is the sons of violent men that become violent men themselves, how do you convince a violent man not to be violent when it is all they know?, i wish i knew.

    When things like this happen i feel ashamed to be a man, i feel some level of guilt is thrust apon all men, and this is unfair, the vast majority of men are good men, husbands, partners, fathers and brothers yet we all carry the burden heaped on our shoulders by the few (even one is too many).

    This man was a coward, a gutless coward.

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